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Aibu to send my son to school in non uniform

263 replies

FastMintSheep · 09/08/2026 11:45

My ds is due to start secondary school in September he is going into year 7 I’m on benefits at the moment due to anxiety and depression after leaving a 18 year abusive relationship I have four other children who are in college and one ds works and is going into the army in November hopefully,as you can imagine I have around 73 pounds a month left after rent bills shopping etc is paid I am hoping to get back into work soon but at the moment my main priority is myself and my dc mental health,So as mentioned my youngest ds in due to start secondary school the uniform will cost around 200 pounds he also will need a winter coat,I have applied to the council where I live but they said they are running extremely low on second hand uniform and don’t have any of the uniform my son needs they were kind enough to give me a pair of trousers and 2 shirts as that’s all they had ,I have applied directly to the school but have heard nothing back would I be unreasonable to just send him in the trousers and the shirt and maybe a plain black jumper?would I get into trouble for this or would my son?I have looked on fb but there’s nothing I don’t no what else to do I also don’t know how to approach the subject with my son he has severe social anxiety and I’m worried he might try and refuse school I honestly feel like such a failure.

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FastMintSheep · 09/08/2026 11:52

thestraycathouse · 09/08/2026 11:48

Can the son that’s working not buy a jumper - what else do you need? Presumable if he’s living with you his outgoings must be quite low even if he is only on minimum wage.

He is on a zero hour contract so some weeks he is not even getting hours but he does help me out when he can

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PeonyPanda · 09/08/2026 11:51

Do not send your son in the incorrect uniform on day 1, as that won’t help his anxiety and will mark him out. School staff might not be checking emails atm but they’ll def be in in the days before term starts. You could also pop in on exam results days, as staff will be there then, and that gives them more time to help.

id imagine shoes will be the biggest expense - Vinted and charity shops x

PrimaniTu · 09/08/2026 11:50

Join the school’s FB page for Y7 and ask if there’s a second hand uniform page.

Check your local charity shops too as I used to take my dc’s too small uniform there.

Football boots can be bought cheaply off EBay/FB/Vinted.

Can your working ds loan you some money? Flowers

Needmorelego · 09/08/2026 11:50

Are there any free/cheap uniform schemes in your area?
They are often run by local community groups. This time of year they often do a pop-up event in shopping centres etc.
I recommend looking on local Facebook groups to see if any are advertised or put a request out to see if anyone has any they can pass onto you.
Edit: I see you have looked on Facebook already.
Definitely try to find out if there's a uniform exchange in your area.

menopausalmare · 09/08/2026 11:50

Contact the school and explain the situation. They should have spare uniform they can lend until you can buy some. He'll be nervous as it is, without feeling like the odd one out. You could also ask your local Facebook group for spares.

Mami2Cymraeg · 09/08/2026 11:50

If you are in Wales there is a school essentials grant which includes school uniform.

FastMintSheep · 09/08/2026 11:49

Shinyandnew1 · 09/08/2026 11:48

I would post on the local FB page and ask if anyone has any spare uniform for that school. Then on the first day back (staff inset) go in and ask for advice. He won’t need a winter coat yet.

I have put up a few posts already on Facebook but yes I will definitely go in to the school on the staff inset day thank you for the idea

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GingerCatLove · 09/08/2026 11:49

Ask on your local Facebook page - you can do it anonymously - someone will have some. Better old than not having the uniform on the first day.

TheSmallAssassin · 09/08/2026 11:49

There's a charity called Acts 435 who might be able to help? I've donated to them quite a lot, they are a national charity but work on a local basis.

https://www.acts435.org.uk/how-we-work/find-help/

Mami2Cymraeg · 09/08/2026 11:49

Have you asked on Facebook? I think this would be better than sending him to school not in the correct uniform.

thestraycathouse · 09/08/2026 11:48

Can the son that’s working not buy a jumper - what else do you need? Presumable if he’s living with you his outgoings must be quite low even if he is only on minimum wage.

Shinyandnew1 · 09/08/2026 11:48

I would post on the local FB page and ask if anyone has any spare uniform for that school. Then on the first day back (staff inset) go in and ask for advice. He won’t need a winter coat yet.

Mooselander · 09/08/2026 11:46

YABU. The reasons are irrelevant. He would absolutely get into trouble for not attending school in full uniform.

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