AIBU to cut contact after years of lies about money?

@TheGingerMoose he’s a fantasist and has made a fool out of you. It’s a very hurtful thing to do.

It could come from a place where he’s embarrassed that he was never able to give you what he wanted to be able to give you, so convinced himself and you that one day he’ll be leaving you xyz. Maybe he thought he could reach this goal, or maybe he thought he’d be dead when you found out so it wouldn’t matter to him. It’s insanity for sure.

It’s hurtful, disappointing and disgusting of him really whatever his reasoning.

I'm with you OP. I don't think it's foolish to think a parent was telling you the truth.

Because of this, you've made life choices that otherwise you would not. If your own father said you'd be coming into several hundred thousands in twenty years time, and nothing had happened that would have changed that (new marriage, care homes etc) then why on earth would you think about saving a few grand for things?

I'd be fucking livid. I've had similar, where my mother promised financial help, loudly, in front of others. Turns out she's a liar too. Luckily my DH earns very well and we are good. But we'd be wealthy and our children would have many more opportunities if we'd received what we were promised too. We have been quite wasteful, because it seemed little point to save loads, as it's wouldn't make any difference given the lump sum we'd get in the future. Had we known that was utter bullshit, we'd have been much more careful, invested more and been in a far far better position. We're probably 10yrs behind where we could have been, had she not lied to us. Our choices were absolutely influenced on her promises. You just don't expect a parent to do that. This wasn't an inheritance either. More "early inheritance because we'd rather see you enjoy it with the grandchildren, rather than when we're gone". We waited, and waited, not wanting to look grabby. Not taking a mortgage when we should have because "oh you'll have virtually no need for a mortgage with the deposit from me". When it came to crunch time, the excuses flowed thick and fast. My parents are millionaires. Turns out she likes the idea of being the great provider to an audience, but can't stomach actually handing anything over.

Solidarity, OP. It's very much changed our relationship too. She's always acted like I should be beholden to her, given what she would so selflessly be gifting us. I don't trust her at all anymore, and I've distanced myself fairly. Our life is nice, but it could be much nicer by our own hands if she hadn't lied to us.

Not sure why you are trying to shift the blame for poor planning of your future on to someone else.

No one is entitled to an inheritance.

I have a slightly similar situation, growing up dad always talked about how he was saving for me, to get me to uni first... then in reality I realised I had much less financial support than my peers ( it's OK I thought he's wanting me to be independent, so i worked 3 jobs ) then he would proudly tell people he had a lump sum saved for my wedding ( I never got married) then when I bought a house I was sort of expecting a top up from this long promised lump sum ( no) and there has been no mention of it since. Looking back now I think any savings might have been absorbed in general life ( he took early retirement ) and the situations where he talked about saving amd having a lump some for me were dinner parties and events when he was chatting to other dads who were much more wealthy. So I think he was just trying to fit in. When I realised this I did loose respect for him and also that it was my mum who bought me car when I needed it after finishing uni and my mum who gave me a small lump sum when i had a child and helps top up the child care account. Made me respect my mum much more ( despite some differnces)
It's never to late to start saving though, even just 50 in a stocks amd shares isa will build up. And be pleased you have done some fun things. The rough times amd financial challenges will always come so I thing spend it when you have it! ( well not all but enjoy what you can..)
Also some counselling helps. It's more than just the money isn't it

You sound grabby.

Best start building up your pension.

Sorry OP but you should never plan your finances on the basis that you might receive an inheritance, no matter what the other person says. It’s utterly foolish.

We're always told "an inheritance is not guaranteed"

You're lashing out because you feel foolish for planning your life around money that you saw absolutely no evidence of. No contact seems extreme to me. Yes he's delusional, but people are delusional about all sorts of things.

It's hard to see it any other way than if he's got no money to give you, you're not interested in him.