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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU not getting into debt to go on holiday?

113 replies

DoYouThinkAbout · 08/08/2026 20:03

I'm a single parent. 4 dc.
Exdh hasn't paid maintenance ever and the last few years have been tough.

I'm doing better now financially and decided to concentrate on the house as it desperately needed decorating, new flooring and furniture.

In my family everyone goes on holiday apart from us. My siblings said I should have taken the dc away instead of decorating.
I was annoyed at first ut then started to doubt myself...

One family member borrowed thousands from my mum and has never repaid a penny but is currently on their second holiday this year.

Another is in debt from constant overspending but they are going away later this month.

At first I admit, I did judge them as they can't afford these holidays.

But actually my dc have really missed out because I wouldn't get into debt to go on holiday.
The 3 older dc are young adults but have never even been on a plane. We used to do caravan holidays but they stopped wanting to go about 3 years ago.

So -

YABU - Your dc missed out, you should have got into debt.

YANBU - for not getting into debt to go on holiday .

OP posts:
Boreded · 08/08/2026 20:45

DoYouThinkAbout · 08/08/2026 20:38

The older 3 are adults. 24, 22 and 20.
They are all organising/saving for their own individual holidays.

I'm not bothered about going on holidays. The last time I went away was in 1994!

It was more about if I was unfair to my dc.

Show quote history

Ah well it’ll be fine then. But definitely consider going with grandkids (once they’re old enough that they aren’t hard work) - my son loves it when my mum comes, they have a great time.

Original poster
DoYouThinkAbout · 08/08/2026 20:40

Divebar2021 · 08/08/2026 20:39

Im not voting because although I don’t think you should get into debt with a capital D I think it’s a shame that you haven’t been able to manage a holiday. ( Although a trip in a caravan is a holiday no? ) Obviously it’s different if you’re struggling from paycheck to paycheck. Would they want to come away if it was a cheap deal outside of the school holidays ?

Im a teacher so not a possibility, sadly.

OP posts:
Original poster
DoYouThinkAbout · 08/08/2026 20:40

Fidgety31 · 08/08/2026 20:35

You haven’t given them experiences … instead you prioritised decorating .
imagine what your kids interpret that as ?

They all have new beds, decorated rooms, somewhere to bring their friends/partners without being embarrassed...

OP posts:
Divebar2021 · 08/08/2026 20:39

Im not voting because although I don’t think you should get into debt with a capital D I think it’s a shame that you haven’t been able to manage a holiday. ( Although a trip in a caravan is a holiday no? ) Obviously it’s different if you’re struggling from paycheck to paycheck. Would they want to come away if it was a cheap deal outside of the school holidays ?

Original poster
DoYouThinkAbout · 08/08/2026 20:38

MrsMoastyToasty · 08/08/2026 20:36

Save for a holiday.
Use a credit card to pay, due to protection it gives you.
Pay credit card statement with savings.

Job done.

Theres no savings! Im a single parent for almost 8 years.

OP posts:
Original poster
DoYouThinkAbout · 08/08/2026 20:38

Boreded · 08/08/2026 20:34

Even if you put it on the credit card that only works once…if you don’t have the money to pay for the holiday you don’t have it even if you put it on a credit card and you’ll have to pay it off somehow.

Could you maybe start a tiny savings pot…can you spare £50 a month, it won’t get you a holiday this year or next, but do it for 4 or 5 years and you have a holiday and potentially didn’t even notice you were missing the £50 a month.

Your kids won’t begrudge you not giving them a holiday, and by budgeting and not getting into debt you can be sure that if/when your kids are adults and have their own family holidays you going to be in a much better position to be able to afford to go with them. You’ll just be the nana not the mum on the trips, but still get brilliant memories. I love the trips my mum comes with me on now where there are three generations of us making memories.

Edited
Show quote history

The older 3 are adults. 24, 22 and 20.
They are all organising/saving for their own individual holidays.

I'm not bothered about going on holidays. The last time I went away was in 1994!

It was more about if I was unfair to my dc.

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 08/08/2026 20:36

Save for a holiday.
Use a credit card to pay, due to protection it gives you.
Pay credit card statement with savings.

Job done.

nellly · 08/08/2026 20:36

Not unreasonable to not go into debt but maybe unreasonable to prioritise decorating over them having that experience just once

Fidgety31 · 08/08/2026 20:35

You haven’t given them experiences … instead you prioritised decorating .
imagine what your kids interpret that as ?

Boreded · 08/08/2026 20:34

DoYouThinkAbout · 08/08/2026 20:29

They want to do their own thing with their friends now, which is absolutely fine.

I've never used my credit card for non essentials so not something I considered.

I realised if I had booked holidays on my card, they would had a different childhood. I know they are embarrassed that they've never been abroad.

I couldn't work out of I was being unreasonable.

Even if you put it on the credit card that only works once…if you don’t have the money to pay for the holiday you don’t have it even if you put it on a credit card and you’ll have to pay it off somehow.

Could you maybe start a tiny savings pot…can you spare £50 a month, it won’t get you a holiday this year or next, but do it for 4 or 5 years and you have a holiday and potentially didn’t even notice you were missing the £50 a month.

Your kids won’t begrudge you not giving them a holiday, and by budgeting and not getting into debt you can be sure that if/when your kids are adults and have their own family holidays you going to be in a much better position to be able to afford to go with them. You’ll just be the nana not the mum on the trips, but still get brilliant memories. I love the trips my mum comes with me on now where there are three generations of us making memories.

justasmalltownmum · 08/08/2026 20:32

You don’t need to go into debt to go on a holiday.
you can save this year, adult dc pay their own way, wait for the Boxing Day holiday sales. Book for next year for the best deals.

Original poster
DoYouThinkAbout · 08/08/2026 20:29

They want to do their own thing with their friends now, which is absolutely fine.

I've never used my credit card for non essentials so not something I considered.

I realised if I had booked holidays on my card, they would had a different childhood. I know they are embarrassed that they've never been abroad.

I couldn't work out of I was being unreasonable.

OP posts:
FuzzyBumbleeBee · 08/08/2026 20:16

You can still take them on holiday if you want, your kids are still your kids no matter what their age
You'll be able to make lots of lovely memories with them.

Get them involved in making a savings plan and choosing where to go

I think you've done the right thing, it's not worth being in debt for a holiday unless it's short lived debt
I would happily put some of a holiday on a credit card if for instance I found a great deal but would be say 6 months short of savings for it and just pay the rest off afterwards but I wouldn't if I was putting the whole thing in a credit card

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