AIBU not getting into debt to go on holiday?

Well you’ve loaded that question to try and get the answer you want haven’t you.

As a child whose parents prioritised decorating over holidays, I can tell you I didn’t give a shiny shit about the lounge wallpaper, I just wanted to go to the seaside like my friends. I’m nearly 60 now, and the main thing I remember about being a child is desperately wanting to go on holiday.

I don’t see the value in holidays. In fact I hate them and spend the whole time counting the days when we’re going home.

one of my children is a whinger and complains over the slightest thing (he does have SEN) and managing the airport, plane, transfers etc was horrible last time we went.

5k for a week away, I came home and thought what a waste of money. I like to spend money on things I can experience and get the pleasure out of for more than a week.

i would much rather have a nice comfortable home then 2 weeks on holiday every year.

a new couch or 2 weeks away? A new couch or new kitchen would win everytime.

lidl food but 2 weeks away every year? Or M&S food all year round but no holiday? M&S food everytime.

my son who was hard work last time is asking to go on holiday abroad again, but he doesn’t travel well and complains all the way there and just the thought of it fills me with dread

Same here OP. I earn pretty well but I’m focused on projects in my house to make it more comfortable (currently replacing the 20 year old kitchen.) Nothing fancy but we all spend a lot of time in this house, I think I’ll get more pleasure from that than a holiday this year and I don’t want to go into debt to do either. No debt other than the mortgage and some modest savings are also important to me.

It's not always that easy though is it @wishfulthinking25 to 'upgrade to a better paying job to give them good experiences in life' as you suggest or to save everything you can each month. I would love to just upgrade my job or to save but there just isn't money left at the end of the month to save.

It's not worth getting in debt for!! I was early 20s before I went abroad, it hasn't always been the norm! I took mine abroad a few times although money was tight and 3 children so drove and camped as too expensive otherwise but they remember very little of it as adults. I'm sure a decent bedroom that they use all year is better👌

Encouraging a single mum to go into debt for a holiday is peak irresponsibility. Shame on them.

Ignore them.

Obviously you’d ideally not get into debt for anything.. but I can’t believe you’ve prioritised house aesthetics over experiences for your children.

I'm a single parent too OP and we don't go on holidays abroad either as I just can't afford it.

I have 3 kids, although mine are younger than yours (9, 13 & 15), and the younger two have never been abroad. My eldest has been abroad once when he was 2 so he has no memory of the holiday. I would love to take them abroad but I have no savings and it would take me years to pay it off a credit card if I paid for a holiday that way, which just doesn't make sense to me.

I bought my first house post divorce earlier this year and all my money goes on the mortgage or getting things repaired on the house, decorating, buying furniture etc. Like you, I feel it is important to give the children a comfortable home that they can bring their friends back to so at the moment that takes priority over holidays. I think you've had unfair criticism from some posters saying you are prioritising material things over holidays/memories for your children. You can have experiences and make memories without going abroad.

I also work in a school so holidays in term time are out of the question for me too and going in the summer holidays is just so expensive now, even in the UK. We haven't even had a UK holiday for 4 ore 5 years now. I try not to feel guilty about it though as a work bloody hard to make sure the children have a home and everything they need and when I can afford to further down the line we will finally have a holiday.

We didn't go away as kids. I wouldn't have wanted my mum to get into debt to take us away. It was probably tough enough at Christmas for her to be honest. We had a roof over our heads and food on the table. And I'm grateful (and get to go away now 😎).

Hi OP, I think you’re getting a lot of unfair criticism here. I can only imagine how much it would have cost to take 4 children on holiday on one salary…during the school holidays. Personally, I’d have done the same as you - I’d want my children coming home to a comfortable home that they’re proud of and want to have their friends over etc, which they wouldn’t have wanted to do with broken beds or whatever. Also, I really struggle if my house is in disarray, looks unkept etc so that would be another reason for me to have done what you have done. I’m lucky that I don’t have to prioritise like you have had to, and I don’t take that for granted. I think you’ve done a great job and also haven’t got into debt for it. Once your children are past the phase of wanting to go away with friends, you can do city breaks etc and make memories with them that way. And as they get older and understand how hard life can be, they may also realise that there’s no shame in not having been on a plane before. I hope you’re enjoying the summer hols…be kind to yourself!

We only had caravan holidays in the UK as a child and I was so sad and embarrassed really, when we would go back to school and everyone would talk about their lovely abroad holidays and I had a week in Norfolk in a caravan. My parents done their best and I recognise that now I’m an adult, but I’d never want my kids to feel like that so yes, I would get into debt to give them a holiday if necessary but as their mother, I would save every month as much as I could or upgrade to a better paying job to give them good experiences in life.

They remember time with their family, and a walk collecting flowers/doing craft/baking/going to the local beach means as much to them as an expensive holiday in Aruba!
You are doing the right thing. Holidays with little kids tend to be stressful for a lot of families-spend money on things that are more important now, and enjoy holidays later.
With the weather how it's been, many families are happy to stay here.

The only way I would think it was unreasonable for your kids to have never been taken abroad would be if you were taking yourself off on holidays here, there and everywhere and leaving the kids at home constantly.

You did your best to ensure they had a nice home to live it, that is far more important imo. It is always something you can do in the future.

I personally can’t afford holidays all the time as a single parent however from next year I’m planning on trying to get one booked every year just one week abroad. I want my children to experience it to be honest but right mow my 4 year old has only been on one.

They will interpret that as their mother provided a comfortable home for them, and was savvy enough not to get into debt for less essential things like holidays. Hopefully core life lessons for the dc

No, I would not. It’s more important to have a comfortable home.

They will interpret that as their mother provided a comfortable home for them, and was savvy enough not to get into debt for less essential things like holidays. Hopefully core life lessons for the dc

you can have experiences/make memories (boak) without going on holiday.

Holidays are more important to me than decorating. They are the things you remember and which bind a family together. New beds and fresh paint is very nice but not a necessity. Of the two I would choose holidays. Your children may be adults but they may still enjoy a holiday with you (and their partners?). Why not suggest one?

Personal preference. When my eldest got to 13, we'd never been on a family holiday. I never imagined we wouldn't, but each year would pass and it was never a priority. Then I pictured 4/5 years into the future and it felt like time with my kids was slipping away. I went into debt for a holiday and I'm doing so again. I don't regret a second of it. It's manageable amounts and I'm not stressed about it

I wouldn’t have got into debt for a holiday but I would have prioritised experiences for my DCs over decorating.

That’s all materialistic stuff…. Not experiences.

ok if you prioritise being materialistic…. But I bet your kids would’ve preferred a holiday !
too
too late now though by the sound of it .

Ah, I see several other posts landed while I was still writing so most of what I’ve said is irrelevant! Ignore!

Some savings and no debt is one of the biggest freedoms you can have. If you can’t save to go you can’t afford repayments after, and paying for things long gone is no fun.

you say that three of yours are young adults, are they at work and paying for their keep, if so you should be better off soon,

obviously some holidays are brilliant, but others are extremely expensive nightmares. It’s worth thinking about how well your children get on if they spend too much time together too.

all the best with whatever you do. One tip, if you’re doing mainstream beach holiday, don’t think self catering is economising, all inclusive means that you get a complete break from catering and finding food, the kids can get whatever they want without you putting your hand in your purse all day long!