AIBU not getting into debt to go on holiday?

I assume you’ve never been a single parent or on a mega tight budget- I’m talking nothing left after essentials have been paid for, no opportunity to save or pay off debt.

you judgemental comment doesn’t take into account that every day you have experiences with your kids, not just when you’re on holiday! and the stress of being in debt is huge and soon spills over into everyday life - making it harder to be relaxed and present with your kids.

it sounds to me that the op has been sensible by prioritising spending her savings on improving their home - which (from what she has said) gives a much greater overall benefit to her family than a week or two away in a resort would do.

I was 21 when I first left the UK and 27 or so when I first flew. I had a UK holiday when I was 7 (with family) 9, 13, 15 and 16 ( that was also staying with family )

I have never needed therapy for anything. It didn’t harm my chances of getting a great job. It hasn’t stopped me learning about other places or cultures.

My friends who all had foreign holidays every year now all say they loved coming to play at mine best as it might have been the smallest home but it was full of love and warmth.

we have so lost sight of what is really important. We value money over love

My 2 DC never went on a plane as a child. My eldest aged 26 still hasn't. We always went on holiday in the UK. There is no way that I would go on any holiday if I had to borrow money!

They wouldn't have had a different childhood. Holidays abroad are not what defines a childhood.

You sound like a loving mum. When they look back over their childhood, that is what they will remember, not the lack of holidays abroad - a loving mum who took great care of them wasn't constantly stressed about debts.

I didn't go on holidays abroad when I was a child and I don't think I missed out at all, nor do I think my childhood would have been different if I had.

I think you've prioritised right OP- it's not okay to get into a debt you can't afford to repay for a holiday! And caravan holidays definitely count as a holiday anyway.

We didn't have a lot of money growing up, my parents put a few foreign holidays on credit cards which was fun for us as kids. However I then remember a lot of stress about money, my dad working weekends in a second job, no money for school trips etc to make repayments.

My husband grew up very poor and rurally (renting a one bed cottage in a national park, no running water so filling buckets from the river!). He didn't go on holiday until he was a working young adult and doesn't feel he missed out as a kid.

I don't think it matters where you are in the world, I think the important thing for good memories is quality time with your family.

It's completely up to you what you've prioritised but if you could afford UK caravan holidays you could have afforded a trip abroad. It comes down to preference really not money but it's fine for you to have done what you preferred, you don't need to justify it now. If you did want to take them abroad now as a family trip it doesn't have to be a 2 weeks all inclusive resort in the summer holidays just because it's abroad. You could do long a weekend in Paris in October half term on the Eurostar, fly for a quick city break to Amsterdam or get the ferry to the beaches in France or Holland and stay in a caravan there. That's the sort of thing we do as we are on a low income but for me travel is a priority. I do put holidays on the credit card because I know I'll have decades to pay it off once I don't have kids at home anymore.

I had "neither a borrower nor a lender be" drummed into me from an early age.

I love travelling and our holiday is the highlight of my year, but the basics come first. Then saving for a holiday is a bonus and the holiday has to cost less than what I've saved (or know I'm going to have saved).

Also, you did take them on holiday. You don't have to go abroad for it to be a holiday!

If you had come on here and written the complete opposite post - every year I get into debt to take my children abroad on holidays I can't afford, meanwhile my house is looking scruffy & needs a lot of work & my children sleep in broken beds - you would no doubt have been slated for having your priorities all wrong.
No doubt posters would have come on to say how their parents didn't decorate their house & bedrooms and how it has scarred them for life etc etc.

You know you are doing a good job raising your children alone OP.
I am sure you see all manners of poor parenting in your job as a teacher. You of all people know what children & young people need
Step away from this thread & stop feeling guilty over such a "first world" kind of issue. Your kids are & will be fine. X

I think you are or would be doing the right thing not to go into debt for a holiday. Debt should be for things like fixing a boiler, maybe a car breakdown, things that are essential to day to day living. Much as holidays can be valuable, they do not keep you in a job, keep the roof over your head, or food on the table.

As a once off I would encourage going into debt for a holiday. It will be an amazing experience with precious memories. Could you all go together next year if the older ones could pay their own way? You deserve it too for working hard and always putting your kids first, giving them everything they need. Everyone needs a break from the norm.

My parents couldn't afford 'holidays'. We went on cheap days out. I first travelled on a plane when I was 17. I never feel that I missed out on anything, I had time with my family, even if it was playing in the garden or local park.

This is an eye opening thread. I’m surprised at how many would go into debt over a holiday. I personally save and the holiday and spending money are accounted for before we go.

I think not going into debt is a powerful lesson. Your adult children are saving for holidays, it appears they are following your example. They will thank you for this as they get older.

A decorated house will last longer than a fortnight’s holiday. I think decorating their rooms is a lovely gift.

Out of curiosity, what do your children think? Do they feel they’ve missed out?

Completely reasonable- but you could go somewhere in this country without speding a fortune- we pick somewhere to go Monday to Friday choose a self catering place on booking.com or airbnb get some train or coach tickets- it is usually around £300 for the 2 of us plus a supermarket run. It would be even cheaper if you have a car.

So. You said you didnt go on holiday... but then said you went on uk holidays. You said 'decorating' but then suddenly it was about broken beds. And now you're saying teaching isn't well paid despite teachers earning an above average salary, (particularly at your age). What are you trying to get out of this thread?

Op has taken her children away. A holiday in the UK is a holiday!

I think you were unreasonable to prioritise decorating over a holiday, seeing as you’re feeling bad over never taking your kids away. There’s loads of reasonably priced holidays via EasyJet holidays where you can put down a small deposit now, then save the rest later. For us, we have a dedicated holiday savings fund but we also sell on Vinted/ebay and have a few other side hustles to increase the holiday fund.

You can get bed frames from charity shops and fb marketplace very cheaply. Or even brand new IKEA for not very much. Im also an sp and over time have built up debt, all on 0% credit to keep life ticking over, the car on the road, a new boiler and yes a couple of holidays abroad as well as a UK one most years. I can deal with the debt with house equity when they've flown the nest. For me, its just numbers on a screen and not important.

I have a teacher in my extended family, she hates going abroad, as a result her 3DC have never been abroad. They have a week in a caravan in the uk, it makes me sad they have never been away but its their choice. Their DC don't know any different but they cant relate to my DC who have been abroad alot.

I think it's a bit odd the way people seem to think a UK holiday doesn't count.
Your kids have had regular days out & UK holidays which is great.
Added to that you are maintaining a lovely home for them to live in. And ensuring financial stability too.

All of this on your own for 8 years with no maintenance from their dad.
I for one think you have nothing to feel bad about or apologise for & actually think you should feel proud of what you have achieved.

How many people put themselves into debt to go on a holiday abroad only for it not to be that great? My neighbours just spent a fortune taking their kids to Italy only for it to be too hot to the things they had planned. They were glad to get home only to find it's still hot here!

It would cost a fortune to take 5 adults away in the height of the summer holidays & to have enough spending money to enjoy it.
Imagine if you did borrow to do it & then it didn't work out/you didn't all enjoy it?

Your children can make different choices as adults if they want to - the world will still be there.
I think this is a classic case of parental guilt but don't feel guilty because you sound amazing!

How fortunate you are for that to be your main take away from childhood!

Well since they are young adults who dont seem to want to go to the same place & are organising their own with friends you would hope they would be helping mum with the decorating to make home more comfortable!

you made the decisions you felt where right. You can’t change that now so no point dwelling on it. And they did have holidays just not abroad holidays. I didn’t go abroad until I was 16 but still have lots of happy memories on childhood holidays.

I don’t get into debt for holidays but for me it is something I prioritise when saving making sure I put away as much as I can towards the next one.

Debt to pay for a holiday that can be put %free and paid off is fine. If you have no way to pay it off then thats a different matter. OP im interested to know why this is now an issue considering the age of your DC?