AIBU to have a third child

I had my 3rd at 34. Other 2 in my early-mid 20s. Pregnancy was harder, labour was harder and I ended up with blood clots. Newborn stage was actually lovely, I went from a very stressful job to maternity leave. The family got closer and the baby could be taken anywhere in the pram so there weren't limits to what I did with the older ones.
Around the age of 2 it became obvious the youngest had autism. We still managed okay until he got to about 3.5. It is now very challenging, it's been hardest for my middle child who struggles when youngest has meltdowns in public and gets in the way of her enjoying days out/holidays. I do feel I've missed out a bit on my older ones teen years. We have still managed to do things and I've had days 1 on 1 with them by DH taking the youngest.
I wouldn't change it now, he has brought a lot of joy to our lives. It's hard to think what I'd have done if I knew the realities of how it would go because he's already here and I wouldn't give him up. I know I'd never have a 4th.

Also do you have an extra bedroom for another child op and have you looked at car logistics and costs?

Maybe for the rest of the summer hols, do what you plan to with the kids, then consider what things would be like if you were doing the same thing but with a young baby or toddler with you all.

Do you really want to go back to the beginning ?! You’re just heading into the lovely years.

Stopped at 2 and frequently say how relieved we are did. We can do so much more as a 4 we love to travel though. Ours same sex and get on so we have a lovely family vibe. Plus young adults (stage we are) are frighteningly expensive now.

Me and my bestie both have 3.

Her (surprise) 3rd is so chill but her DS took issues with no longer bring youngest and went from lovely to a nightmare. They also had to move house so the kids could have their own bedrooms. She really struggles.

I also have 3 but my 2nd child was twins (one autistic). I find it hard. I feel with three kids I'm always in demand for attention and if I do something with one then the another kicks off, and my poor eldest just sucks it up and I try and spend quality time with him when I can. When DH works from home I take two of them out and leave the other with him. Not to mention having to change both cars. Thankfully we have 4 bedrooms so they dont have to share and can have their own space which is important for children.

Have a friend who went on for the third - child is disabled and has meant the older two have a harder time as a result. The child is certainly very loved, but mum is exhausted and has confided in me that he sometimes feels regret over the decision.

I have two, financially stable and they adore each other. I don't want to rock the boat so have settled on a puppy as my third child.

My friend had a third after two aged 6 &8. It seemed nice for the first couple of years then tbh the older two were so much more independent, they wanted to be off doing fun stuff but there was a toddler in tow.the eldest is not interested in the youngest & she's a bit of a spare wheel.

We have 4 so 3 seems easy to me 🤣 the reason we had number 4 however is because number 3 was being left out. Now the older two are best friends and the younger two are very close. So with your age gaps I would prepare to want a 4th lol

Have you looked at how childcare costs would impact your family?

It depends what kind of baby you get. DC2 had several issues inc reflux and we really couldn’t pay DC1 the attention he deserved for a while. Do factor in a risk of sleep.

Why don’t you try and see what happens op?
I have 3 and I’m very glad I did.
Having said that, there is a much closer age gap, 5 years between all 3 so it didn’t affect days out etc for me.
I also had zero reservations about having a third so maybe that affects his things turn out, who knows.

My friends 3rd turned out to be 3rd and 4th. Would you be ok with that?

Why would you be unreasonable? It’s your life and your family. If you want three or more and can support them then go ahead.

I don't think that you can over analyse this, I think you're really sensible to consider everything.
I wanted a third child and my heart still regrets that we didn't. And DD2 was a twin pregnancy with the loss of the twin at about eleven weeks, so for me there's always the 'what if' which complicates things a bit. However my head knows that two was best for us. DH is one of three and did not want a third child. He was also concerned it could be another twin pregnancy (I hit every marker for a higher chance of this) that went successfully to term and we would have four children. I would not have a child without it being a joint decision and he has always been an amazing and very involved father. From the practical point of view children are expensive, you're in the cheaper patch now between nursery fees and secondary school. Neither of my DD are demanding/ materialist but university is blooming expensive and loans don't cover even rent. And through both primary and secondary school we always wanted them to have access to hobbies and school trips and the opportunity to buy in tutoring if they were finding a subject very difficult. A third child is a big financial commitment and we've managed to save for the two weeks have in a way we couldn't if there had been three.

I felt the same way. I was consumed with the thought of "needing" a third child. It was what I thought about as soon as I woke up every morning.

She's 12 now, and of course I love and adore her. But having her is the absolute hardest thing I've ever done. Everything is set up around families of four, which you don't realise the impact of until you have more than two children. Plus you have two hands to hold, two knees to sit on, and two parents to allow one-on-one time with each child.

Plus the age gap is really tricky. There is four years between my middle one and youngest one, and the older two wanted to do completely different things to her. Only now at 12, 16, and 17 do they really get on without her irritating the older two.

Three is harder than I ever imagined. Physically, emotionally, financially...
Plus everytime you have a child you are taking a gamble on them being fit and healthy. My youngest has quite severe SEN which has changed the lives of my older two. On top of this, my eldest fell seriously ill four years ago, and because of my youngest's needs one of us always had to be with her, which meant one of us couldn't be with him when he was gravely ill.

Honestly, if I had my time again I'm not sure I'd make the same choices. But, having said that, she is bloody brilliant and the world is a better place for her being in it. Plus the three of them adore one another and it is a privilege to observe their relationship.

3 here too. Best decision we ever made and she is a complete and utter joy. Her sisters are obsessed with her. X

Just bloody live your own life dont wait for an approval just do it!

I am the 3rd baby and I think I'm great lol. I am 6 years younger than the eldest.

My mom has said that it made holidays more expensive but I think what is that in comparison to a life?

I'm only on my first child at 31 and I'd like to have 3 but I worry about being too old or if i can cope if I have them close together so I'm younger. I don't think your age is a problem, lots of women have their first older than you are now.

I have three - 5, 3 and 1 now. The eldest was almost 4 when the youngest was born. I love it.

I don’t think your age is an issue (I was 33 when I had my first), but I would worry slightly about the bigger age gaps. But I only know smaller gaps and lots of people prefer a bit more space!

I think you just know when you are done, I always thought I wanted loads of children but after the second I knew that would be it and all desire for any more disappeared! You don’t feel finished and you are definitely still at a good age if you want to go for your 3rd, seems like you would regret not doing it more.

I had my third last year after having two very close together. My older two were 7 and 8 when he was born and they both absolutely adore him. They love to play with him, cuddle him, help where possible and he in return is besotted with his big brothers. I’ve had two with a close gap and then a much bigger gap and there are pros and cons with it all. He has completed us and it has been so lovely doing it all again and really embracing it.
Time goes so quickly and everything is so short lived so go for it!
I was 36 when I had him and though my pregnancy was a bit harder it was nothing I couldn’t manage. Have the third!

I had a third.

money is tight but we manage. I don’t regret it for a single second. The six weeks holidays are tough (but tough with 2 also)

she is absolutely wonderful.

Ive got DS10 and DS6. Combined household income including bonuses approx £250k (we live South London) personally I never wanted more than 2 anyway but I wouldn’t dream of having another, I can afford to save enough for them
to buy first homes, attend university, and have some savings when they leave home. I could also just about manage private education for them both. I wouldn’t be able to cover 3 to the same level.