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Whats the point of consent and asking permission if you get lied to

699 replies

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · 08/08/2026 17:52

Whats the point of consent and permission ? friends meal and they cover the cost, they said here is x amount get what you want, so permission is asked what the limit is eg £20 and i can get whatever food / takeaway with it, the yes permission is given that i can buy what i want within the budget.

turns out a day or two after wards a sarcastic comment was made because i had 2 jacket potatoes with different toppings, so i said why is that an issue and it turns out that they still thought id get one instead of two ,

so i said i asked permission of what the budget was and i did ask what i could get then all i got was oh id still thought you would get 1 so i said why then say i can get x why not just say and be honest.

i guess this is more me moaning but why do people do this, say yes to x then they actually want you do to x instead its like why ?

before anyone asks we usually do a weekly meal out, and no they are fairly wealthy

OP posts:
MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · 09/08/2026 21:11

MademoisellePraline · 09/08/2026 21:09

@MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe

Let's go with a conversation with me, and Jane. Jane is someone who thinks it's quirky to ensure social norms don't apply to her, because even if she didn't know at first, she alleges still not to understand when over a hundred people have explained it at the level a bowl of trifle would have comprehended by now.

Me: Hi Jane, want to come round tomorrow?

Jane: Sure, shall I come at 3pm? What shall we do?

Me: Whatever you like. See you at 3pm.

Jane then turns up at 3pm, strips off and rolls around my living room floor.

Me: Jane? Wtaf are you doing?

Jane: Why must you talk in riddles? Why say do whatever I like when clearly you didn't mean it.

Do you see how it should not be necessary to explain to a grown adult with a basic education of manners and etiquette, that they won't be permitted to roll on the floor naked? Do you see how utterly childish and ridiculous that person would be, 20 pages into a thread to still be claiming "but, but she said whatever I like"

from a literatel point of view the error was telling a person what ever they want

OP posts:
ShetlandishMum · 09/08/2026 21:10

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · 09/08/2026 21:10

not confirmed but i suspect im on the spectrum

Then educate yourself.

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · 09/08/2026 21:10

ShetlandishMum · 09/08/2026 20:55

Are you ND? You have never answered the question.

not confirmed but i suspect im on the spectrum

OP posts:
MademoisellePraline · 09/08/2026 21:09

@MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe

Let's go with a conversation with me, and Jane. Jane is someone who thinks it's quirky to ensure social norms don't apply to her, because even if she didn't know at first, she alleges still not to understand when over a hundred people have explained it at the level a bowl of trifle would have comprehended by now.

Me: Hi Jane, want to come round tomorrow?

Jane: Sure, shall I come at 3pm? What shall we do?

Me: Whatever you like. See you at 3pm.

Jane then turns up at 3pm, strips off and rolls around my living room floor.

Me: Jane? Wtaf are you doing?

Jane: Why must you talk in riddles? Why say do whatever I like when clearly you didn't mean it.

Do you see how it should not be necessary to explain to a grown adult with a basic education of manners and etiquette, that they won't be permitted to roll on the floor naked? Do you see how utterly childish and ridiculous that person would be, 20 pages into a thread to still be claiming "but, but she said whatever I like"

ShetlandishMum · 09/08/2026 21:08

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · 09/08/2026 21:07

very big thank you for this

You only thank and respond to certain answers don't you?

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · 09/08/2026 21:07

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 09/08/2026 21:06

OP was NOT "told to order lunch".

She was told she could order whatever she wanted, up to a maximum budget of £20.

For those saying it was rude to ask what the budget was, the friend had previously commented on how much OP'S choice had cost (details of that particular meal are upthread, and I can't remember them offhand. I do remember that it wasn't expensive).
So this time OP clarified what the budget was, to avoid a repeat of the previous issue.
Again, this makes sense.

Whilst two jacket potatoes might seem a lot, they were apparently not very big, and cost a total of £7.
OP'S friend had fish and chips, which cost £12 or £14, I can't remember exactly (see upthread).

So OP was not ordering an expensive meal - it was almost like having two starters instead of a main.

I actually can't understand the amount of grief OP has had over this.

very big thank you for this

OP posts:
Woodfiresareamazing2 · 09/08/2026 21:06

ImmortalSnowman · 09/08/2026 20:37

No one played word games. You were told to order lunch. You shouldn't need to be told not to order two lunches.

OP was NOT "told to order lunch".

She was told she could order whatever she wanted, up to a maximum budget of £20.

For those saying it was rude to ask what the budget was, the friend had previously commented on how much OP'S choice had cost (details of that particular meal are upthread, and I can't remember them offhand. I do remember that it wasn't expensive).
So this time OP clarified what the budget was, to avoid a repeat of the previous issue.
Again, this makes sense.

Whilst two jacket potatoes might seem a lot, they were apparently not very big, and cost a total of £7.
OP'S friend had fish and chips, which cost £12 or £14, I can't remember exactly (see upthread).

So OP was not ordering an expensive meal - it was almost like having two starters instead of a main.

I actually can't understand the amount of grief OP has had over this.

ShetlandishMum · 09/08/2026 20:58

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 09/08/2026 20:56

I have over 20 years experience of working with a wide range of ND students.

Maybe those posting on here don't agree, but I know from extensive lived experience that many ND people would see this the way OP does.

True but most would try harder to understand what is explained to OP.

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 09/08/2026 20:56

ImmortalSnowman · 09/08/2026 20:35

The ND people on this thread have disagreed with this.

I have over 20 years experience of working with a wide range of ND students.

Maybe those posting on here don't agree, but I know from extensive lived experience that many ND people would see this the way OP does.

ShetlandishMum · 09/08/2026 20:55

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · 09/08/2026 20:34

that what was the point ive been trying to get at, and yes i many have been an ass with making the point

Are you ND? You have never answered the question.

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 09/08/2026 20:54

KilkennyCats · 09/08/2026 20:45

Are all nd people stingy bastards, then, who can’t understand why they shouldn’t leave other people to pick up the tab all the time?
I don’t think so.

OP says her friend always insists on paying.

Of course she could be telling a lie about that ...

If I was OP, going forward I would insist on taking turns to pay, or at least paying for myself.
But I'm not ND, and I'm not OP ...

ShetlandishMum · 09/08/2026 20:47

ImmortalSnowman · 09/08/2026 20:44

It probably is all a work of fiction. @MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe claims to use AI to write creative stories. That Sheldon post reeked of AI.

Agree.

KilkennyCats · 09/08/2026 20:45

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 09/08/2026 20:33

It's really not. To an ND person it makes complete sense, and it is literally correct.

Are all nd people stingy bastards, then, who can’t understand why they shouldn’t leave other people to pick up the tab all the time?
I don’t think so.

ImmortalSnowman · 09/08/2026 20:44

ShetlandishMum · 09/08/2026 20:41

I'm aware of that but if you're a ND person you can try to reflect on a situation and try to understand your own influence.

OP doesn't do any work what so ever.
None! but keeps messing around in a crappy fictional world. It doesn't really seem real.

Edited

It probably is all a work of fiction. @MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe claims to use AI to write creative stories. That Sheldon post reeked of AI.

BeardySchnauzer · 09/08/2026 20:42

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · 09/08/2026 20:33

yes i understand, but one question why do humans play social word games ?

Said by the person who has done nothing but play games on this thread!

ShetlandishMum · 09/08/2026 20:41

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 09/08/2026 20:33

It's really not. To an ND person it makes complete sense, and it is literally correct.

I'm aware of that but if you're a ND person you can try to reflect on a situation and try to understand your own influence.

OP doesn't do any work what so ever.
None! but keeps messing around in a crappy fictional world. It doesn't really seem real.

WhatNoRaisins · 09/08/2026 20:39

OP sometimes you have to work with how the world is rather than how you wish it would be.

ImmortalSnowman · 09/08/2026 20:37

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · 09/08/2026 20:33

yes i understand, but one question why do humans play social word games ?

No one played word games. You were told to order lunch. You shouldn't need to be told not to order two lunches.

ImmortalSnowman · 09/08/2026 20:35

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 09/08/2026 20:33

It's really not. To an ND person it makes complete sense, and it is literally correct.

The ND people on this thread have disagreed with this.

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · 09/08/2026 20:34

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 09/08/2026 20:33

It's really not. To an ND person it makes complete sense, and it is literally correct.

that what was the point ive been trying to get at, and yes i many have been an ass with making the point

OP posts:
ImmortalSnowman · 09/08/2026 20:34

@MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe You are completely wrong about the Sheldon version. He would never order something randomly. He won't even eat pancakes on oatmeal day.

More importantly he doesn't take the piss with money and pays his own damn way! He is also very generous and nothing like you.

Your entire nonsense post that you think is proving your point is not.

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 09/08/2026 20:33

ShetlandishMum · 09/08/2026 20:25

This is simply insane and bs.

Edited

It's really not. To an ND person it makes complete sense, and it is literally correct.

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · 09/08/2026 20:33

ShetlandishMum · 09/08/2026 20:31

Just pay yourself! Got it?

yes i understand, but one question why do humans play social word games ?

OP posts:
ShetlandishMum · 09/08/2026 20:32

BudgetBuster · 09/08/2026 20:29

The time and effort to write all that garbage... and all it does is further state that the OP hasn't an iota of normal social interactions and that even 22 pages of a thread haven't given the OP one inkling they might be wrong.

Most likely a game of some shit more than a real issue.

ShetlandishMum · 09/08/2026 20:31

MrsOctaviaCharlotteSmythe · 09/08/2026 20:20

well it is tricky when you have to second guess what they say

Just pay yourself! Got it?