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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends mocking my engagement :(

406 replies

UpShitsCreek · Yesterday 12:45

My fiance proposed to me this week after 3 years together, just a day after our 3 year anniversary!

He had planned to propose in his home country when we visited a few months back but it was very busy seeing all this family (his mum is British before any comments about wanting a UK visa!).

We had a stressful time coming back and I had been prepping for a new job interview. He came home from work around 9, told me to put some shoes on as he wanted to show me something…

He drove me to a road and got out and said “this is the first place I ever said I loved you” and then proposed, with a gorgeous delicate ring!

I was on cloud 9, so happy. I always told him I didn’t like big proposals and I’d been embarrassed if someone saw, so this felt perfect and quite romantic.

Saw my best friends today. Both of them were saying how cheap it was, how it was thoughtless and that they’d be sick if they were proposed to in their pyjamas (like I was), and that he could have done something more romantic. They were laughing about it as well.

It’s made me really really sad. Aibu to think that the proposal was quite thoughtful… the first place he said “I love you” is quite sweet?

OP posts:
ScaredButUnavoidable · Yesterday 20:53

That sounds like a perfect proposal to me.

My proposal happened on my living room floor, half way through quiz show, a few minutes after my husband got home from work, so the fact you got taken out for a drive is a treat in my eyes 🤣

It sounds romantic, special and thoughtful so tell your friends to fuck off.

Many congratulations!!!

WheezyMeaty · Yesterday 20:58

VickyEadie · Yesterday 12:48

I think anyone who says they want a performative "proposal" is vacuous and shallow. Ignore them and reconsider whether they're real friends to you.

Um this. They obviously don't understand anything about what marriage is about so you can safely dismiss their opinions.

I think it sounds incredibly sweet (but then my DH proposed by saying one day while lying in bed just as I was drifting off to sleep: "so should we get married then?" 😆)

Simonjt · Yesterday 21:20

Congratulations, thats lovely.

If you love some one it really doesn’t matter how they propose, my husband asked me when we were in bed (not sexual!), it was no more or less special than any other type of proposal.

whatisheupto · Yesterday 21:52

He thought it through, he planned what to do, he bought a ring, he actually followed through and proposed. Not to mention remembering where he first said I love you. Also he listened to you and respected your preferences re not doing a showy proposal. You were on cloud 9 so he got it just right because he knows you and loves you.
That is 7 big fat boxes ticked.
Many, many men do not manage that.

SquirrelGG · Yesterday 22:04

It was a beautiful proposal, and congratulations.

Your friends are horrible, and they would be ex-friends if this happened to me.

Fernticket · Yesterday 22:09

DozyCrow · Yesterday 12:52

People who want big displays and Insta pictures are doing it for the wrong reasons. It's very romantic that your fiancé remembered where he first. Said he loved you and took you back there to propose. He'd also listened to you saying you didn't like big or public proposals, so kudos to him. Sounds like a keeper OP. Can't say the same about your so called friends though.

This. In spades.
It was a lovely, thoughtful romantic proposal.
Wishing you all the best for a very long and happy marriage.

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