AIBU to ban a guest over dismissing a severe nut allergy?

He does it to embarrass his wife. He played up because he didn't want to go. Although the op has uninvited him and told his wife she can come. I doubt she'll turn up. Some people like to have control.

I would be questioning who the heck I was friends with and whether she really was all that “lovely” if she was in a relationship with someone that she knew all to well spouted poison like he did and… essentially just shrugged.

He failed Logic 101 didn’t he? A fear of spiders/graveyards is a phobia. An allergy is not a phobia. Tell him to stay at home and consult the dictionary.

Well played OP. I hope he's mortified. Have a lovely gathering 💕

Well done, OP. Hope she ditches him very soon.

• Total food-related deaths: Around 10 people die each year in the UK from severe food allergic reactions.
• Nut contribution: Peanuts and tree nuts are responsible for nearly half of these fatal cases.
• Prevalence: Millions in the UK live with diagnosed food allergies, though fatal outcomes remain rare due to improved emergency response and wider availability of adrenaline auto-injectors. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

Uninvite him now. This is exactly the kind of person who will bring them on purpose and then profess they had no idea when it all goes badly wrong.

Some people have absolutely no clue! I’d be furious with how rude he was! No one desperately needs to eat nuts ffs! My friend has a nut allergy and she’s usually ok on flights but a recent long haul she asked if they might not serve nuts as she hasn’t flown that long and can’t guarantee she wouldn’t have a reaction. The airline said they wouldn’t serve them but then they did! When she questioned it they said ‘oh but we’re not giving nuts to the people beside you’ it’s like they had no clue about airborne allergies!!

He cannot come. He does not understand the seriousness. Any awkwardness is on him for creating a situation through sheer ignorance.

The school I worked in was completely nut free. Absolutely everyone complied. You’ll be fine.

That could potentially be a life and death situation. Avoid him at all costs. Sounds a prick anyway

I keep on getting "will no-one think of the spiders?" when I see his absurd message.

I’d like to invite the moron into intensive care to see what happens when someone with allergy is exposed to nuts. It’s no laughing matter and he would be horrified at the outcome. It’s a life threatening anaphylaxis. It’s not a spider. FFS.

Good on you OP. He sounds an eejit. Uninvited absolutely justified. Hope you had a great day and your friend managed to come too.

Don’t risk him being there . “ l was alarmed at your views on nut allergy and assure you that it is deadly. No hard feelings as you are entitled to your opinion but l’d prefer you didn’t come as l want to concentrate on keeping my child safe”

It takes a particularly stupid person to not understand the difference between a deadly allergy and a phobia. But it takes a complete bell end to laugh about it and suggest they get over it.

You have to tell him he's not welcome. Your friend, who he's the partner of, might be at a point of thinking she wants out of the relationship but hasn't got the confidence to end things as she's doubting herself. You making it known he's not welcome might help her see that other people think he's a knob too, and she'd be doing the right thing if she got shut.

Well that'll teach me to reply without reading all the replies. Nice one you. Just hoping your friend reconsiders his position in her life now, and not just at your party. 🤞🏻

This is just vile. As if people can choose whether to have allergies or not! This has made me so angry.
Absolutely uninvite - this way you're standing up for the person with the allergy and drawing a clear line in the sand that this sort of attitude won't be tolerated in your home.

Just seen your update OP that you'd already uninvited! I was just so angry I couldn't wait to read everything before posting! Hope you have a lovely time without him!

this reminds me of when my bf had the shits in the big tescos

As someone who also has a life threatening nut allergy, thank you for being so thoughtful and creating a safe space for your child’s partner.

I am utterly terrified by the response of the person who messaged you that and would probably not eat a thing at the party if they were present. Please tell your child’s partner for their own safety

what was his response to you uninviting him, OP?

Not unreasonable at all. It's literally a matter of life and death for your poor son's DP!
Uninvite the moron, or lie and tell him it's cancelled if you don't want to have a fight today 😂
Can you get hold of a suitable NHS information leaflet to give them for future reference or something that might help them understand (if they can be reasoned with.)
Some people genuinely do not take life threatening allergies seriously and that's a recipe for disaster (pun intended!)

I would uninvite him. I wouldn't trust him, he thinks the allergy is totally fabricated. In the UK the law states that individuals have a basic responsibility not to cause foreseeable harm to others, through reckless or negligent actions. Therefore, because you have told this utter tosser you have banned all foods with nuts, due to a life threatening medical condition & he chooses to ignore you, his defiance creates a severe legal risk to him. In other words, if he ignored your request and your ds did have a reaction, he would be locked up and questioned by the police , with a strong possibility of being charged

What an ignoramous

well done for cancelling him