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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want a relationship but feel it is impossible to tolerate a man? Anyone else?

279 replies

Yrepw · 07/08/2026 22:46

I truly dislike them. Of course there’s one or two I hold in high esteem but even they are entitled in a way that most women are not.

I used to love the idea of marriage and even being a stay at home parent, the idea of being a team with a man and building a relationship. I’m now in my forties and quite literally every man I have been involved with has caused me some pain in some way. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. But truly, the way I have been treated by men even at the best of times has often been filled with stress, being patronised, being let down. I know people will read this and think ‘well choose a better man’ but honestly these men were some of the ‘good ones.’

I would love to have a marriage but can’t face a man in my life. Sadly I’m not a lesbian. Has anyone else reached this point?!

OP posts:
BurnoutGP · 07/08/2026 23:06

I am 55. I have been divorced 16 years. My XH was an arse. I have 2 DD who I love dearly. But this isn't the life I imagined or wanted. I have had a few short lived relationships since but seriously they are all just lacking. I wont get married again and cant see me ever sharing my life with one. I wouldn't do it again. Both my DD are fiercely independent and can't really be bothered with men (long term). Can't say I blame them. The time that women " had to get married and have babies " is long past. Male loneliness epidemic my arse. Its just women have got wise to them and dont need them. My elder DD is talking about freezing her eggs so she can have babies if and when she is ready....with or without a man.

GrizeldaMcBain · 07/08/2026 23:04

Are you SURE you aren’t a lesbian? Give it a try? 😆

ChaToilLeam · 07/08/2026 23:02

If I wasn't with DP, I really don't think I would seek another relationship.

FaceEatingLeopard · 07/08/2026 22:57

No but if I did I’d make peace with the inevitability of my situation and try to lead a good and interesting life without a man or whatever else it was that made me unhappy.