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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if those in favour of the death penalty would be able to pass the sentence themselves?

221 replies

couldyoudoit · 07/08/2026 17:13

Inspired by recent threads about people wanting the death penalty reintroduced, I was wondering - if there was an option for the family member of a murdered person to execute the person who did it, would you do it?

I am very fundamentally opposed to any kind of death penalty but I’m curious to know if those who do agree with it could do the deed themselves, and if so, where would you draw the line regarding method? I suspect a lot of people in favour would be ok pressing a button to administer lethal injection/pulling a lever to drop a trapdoor but would be less keen to (for example) chop someone’s head off with an axe or set them on fire?

Not really an AIBU but I’m really interested in the responses. Not looking to judge anyone for their stance either way, just curious about the thought processes.

NB* Not a journalist or writing any sort of article!

OP posts:
shinybubbIes · 07/08/2026 18:31

Backedoffhackedoff · 07/08/2026 18:28

I always think though- so few people do kill their child/mother/spouses murder do they? That’s what I base my belief that 99.99% of people would not kill their child’s killer, because the reality is 99.99% don’t.

I think there are reasons for that though 1. opportunity 2. fear of being locked away and therefore being unable to be there for your family that is left

I suspect if they had the means to do it and there would be zero consequences it would be very different

Backedoffhackedoff · 07/08/2026 18:29

nomas · 07/08/2026 18:16

I’ve already said I couldn’t execute anyone. But you seem to be confused on what murder is (an unlawful killing) and execution (state-authorised killing under a legal framework).

The two concepts differ in legality and morality.

I’m not confused at all. It makes no difference to my view. And you may think they differ morally but the thing about morals is, everyone’s are different.

Backedoffhackedoff · 07/08/2026 18:28

shinybubbIes · 07/08/2026 18:14

This applies both ways though. You have no idea what kind of blind rage and all consuming grief you'd feel if someone abused/murdered one of your family members.

Everyone is capable of murder given the right set of circumstances. Everyone.

I always think though- so few people do kill their child/mother/spouses murder do they? That’s what I base my belief that 99.99% of people would not kill their child’s killer, because the reality is 99.99% don’t.

nomas · 07/08/2026 18:16

Backedoffhackedoff · 07/08/2026 18:13

I actually don’t base whether or not I kill people on legality but you do you

I’ve already said I couldn’t execute anyone. But you seem to be confused on what murder is (an unlawful killing) and execution (state-authorised killing under a legal framework).

The two concepts differ in legality and morality.

shinybubbIes · 07/08/2026 18:14

couldyoudoit · 07/08/2026 17:27

@Backedoffhackedoffyes it is easy to say when it’s all hypothetical but no one really knows how they would feel or act in that situation. I think a lot of people would say one thing but do another if it really came to it, probably myself included!

This applies both ways though. You have no idea what kind of blind rage and all consuming grief you'd feel if someone abused/murdered one of your family members.

Everyone is capable of murder given the right set of circumstances. Everyone.

Backedoffhackedoff · 07/08/2026 18:13

nomas · 07/08/2026 18:12

Not legally, in countries where they practise it.

I actually don’t base whether or not I kill people on legality but you do you

SomersetCider · 07/08/2026 18:13

Not a chance. I’m against the death penalty in all circumstances, even if (heaven forbid) my family member was the victim. In a society with the death penalty, it could equally be me or a member of my family being wrongfully executed. People are too quick to dismiss the notion that THEY could find themselves at the wrong end of that kind of justice.

fuchsteufelswild · 07/08/2026 18:12

couldyoudoit · 07/08/2026 17:58

@saveforthat there is a great line from Game of Thrones, something that Eddard Stark says along the lines of ‘if you’re going to sentence someone to death you owe it to them to look them in the eye and hear their last words. If you can’t do that then maybe they don’t deserve to die’. I know that’s fictional fantasy, a silly comparison to make as this is real life we’re talking about, but I think there is truth in it.

I also wonder about the psychological effect on the person who can or does do the executing. I know some on here have said they would sleep fine afterwards but would you really? You’ve still taken a life even if it’s someone you hate, that surely has to effect you?

That's the point and the price any of us would have to pay. It would be part of the collateral consequences that any judiciary system has to manage (public interest vs the freedom of the individual/concept of debt paid).

A deeply disturbed man who has raped and killed several children - I would not lose sleep over becoming a murderer because of him.

FanLife · 07/08/2026 18:12

I couldn’t be responsible for ending a life like that. Even if I felt good about it at the time, I know myself and it would plague me every night for the rest of my life.

nomas · 07/08/2026 18:12

Backedoffhackedoff · 07/08/2026 18:11

Yes

Not legally, in countries where they practise it.

likelysuspect · 07/08/2026 18:12

couldyoudoit · 07/08/2026 17:13

Inspired by recent threads about people wanting the death penalty reintroduced, I was wondering - if there was an option for the family member of a murdered person to execute the person who did it, would you do it?

I am very fundamentally opposed to any kind of death penalty but I’m curious to know if those who do agree with it could do the deed themselves, and if so, where would you draw the line regarding method? I suspect a lot of people in favour would be ok pressing a button to administer lethal injection/pulling a lever to drop a trapdoor but would be less keen to (for example) chop someone’s head off with an axe or set them on fire?

Not really an AIBU but I’m really interested in the responses. Not looking to judge anyone for their stance either way, just curious about the thought processes.

NB* Not a journalist or writing any sort of article!

People that believe in it probably would yes. Why would you think otherwise?

Some people obviously are full of shit and looking someone right in the eyes 10 mins before they pull the trigger or push the button or whatever might make them pull out but people who belive the state should be able to kill its citizens probably have no feelings about ending someones life like that.

Backedoffhackedoff · 07/08/2026 18:11

nomas · 07/08/2026 18:08

Is execution after being found guilty in a court of law the same as murder?

Yes

nomas · 07/08/2026 18:08

Backedoffhackedoff · 07/08/2026 18:07

Ah. So we are asking people if they could murder someone?

and people are saying yes easily? 🤔

Is execution after being found guilty in a court of law the same as murder?

Backedoffhackedoff · 07/08/2026 18:07

couldyoudoit · 07/08/2026 17:36

@saveforthatyes exactly. Specially I wonder if people who say that they could or would do the executing would be happy with doing something like swinging the axe rather than pushing a button because one is very hands on and potentially difficult/bloody where as the other is easy and allows you do remove yourself from the act. I could probably (in theory) push a button or pull a lever but I don’t think I could burn someone at the stake or boil them.

Ah. So we are asking people if they could murder someone?

and people are saying yes easily? 🤔

couldyoudoit · 07/08/2026 17:58

@saveforthat there is a great line from Game of Thrones, something that Eddard Stark says along the lines of ‘if you’re going to sentence someone to death you owe it to them to look them in the eye and hear their last words. If you can’t do that then maybe they don’t deserve to die’. I know that’s fictional fantasy, a silly comparison to make as this is real life we’re talking about, but I think there is truth in it.

I also wonder about the psychological effect on the person who can or does do the executing. I know some on here have said they would sleep fine afterwards but would you really? You’ve still taken a life even if it’s someone you hate, that surely has to effect you?

OP posts:
NewGirlInTown · 07/08/2026 17:56

I would happily do it. No problem at all, especially those bastards who have killed women and children.

couldyoudoit · 07/08/2026 17:47

@ColdAsAWitchesI completely agree which is why I don’t agree with the death penalty at all, that and the possibility of executing innocent people by mistake.

OP posts:
Hopefulsalmon · 07/08/2026 17:47

I'm against the death penalty. But if one of my family was murdered, I'm sure I'd want and be able to kill the perpetrator myself. It's why a logical argument can't be based on emotion.

ColdAsAWitches · 07/08/2026 17:42

I'm very much against the death penalty. It's barbaric and there's no coming back from it. I've said this on countless threads.

But there are situations where I'd happily kill, those that hurt my kids for example.

Which is another reason that the death penalty should be out of the hands of family members and if it was ever to be reinstated should be the decision of unconnected, independent, neutral judiciary.

fuchsteufelswild · 07/08/2026 17:42

I'm torn on this issue because wrong-person error cannot be ruled out with obviously catastrophic consequences, but I absolutely would. It's the only way I could justify to myself fundamentally immoral (involving death) acts like eating meat/killing animals for food.

saveforthat · 07/08/2026 17:42

couldyoudoit · 07/08/2026 17:36

@saveforthatyes exactly. Specially I wonder if people who say that they could or would do the executing would be happy with doing something like swinging the axe rather than pushing a button because one is very hands on and potentially difficult/bloody where as the other is easy and allows you do remove yourself from the act. I could probably (in theory) push a button or pull a lever but I don’t think I could burn someone at the stake or boil them.

This is brought up every time the death penalty is discussed. It's almost as if those in favour are hypocrites unless they will administer the fatal injection etc. The thing is, most of us are hypocrite s in day to day life. I eat meat but wouldn't kill an animal. I want my bins emptied but wouldn't do that job. They will find many that would take on the job I am sure.

highlandcoo · 07/08/2026 17:39

Quite separately from the moral question of taking a life, a major problem with the death penalty in the past was that juries were so hesitant to be responsible for someone being sentenced to death - possibly wrongly, which has happened -that many guilty of murder ended up being acquitted.

FOJN · 07/08/2026 17:39

There are certain people currently in prison who I could carry out a death sentence on and sleep better knowing there is no possibility of them having another chance to hurt anyone. I don't feel vengeful and I abhor cruelty so I would chose the quickest method which caused the least suffering. I would derive no pleasure or satisfaction from it but I would experience some comfort from the certainty of knowing they can never hurt anyone else.

The possibility of an innocent person being executed keeps me torn on the death penalty.

nomas · 07/08/2026 17:39

The death penalty is fine in principle but the risk of wrongfully executing an innocent person is too high (1 in 8 apparently).

Plus people spend so long on death row that it negates the aim of the death penalty.

I wouldn’t want to be an executioner. You would always wonder which of the people you executed were innocent.

MsRubee · 07/08/2026 17:38

I don’t 100% support the death penalty, but I do think the world is better when the worst of the worst are dead. Huntley, Hamilton amongst the very worst. One murdered in prison, the other shot himself after killing the children. It’s not justice but at least they are no longer alive.
If it was my family, yes I’d want them dead rather than alive and I could press a button or pull a lever.