To get so stressed about my kids’ car behaviour

You could skip the advance warning, of course, and just turn the car round as soon as you can.

At 5 and 3 they should still be in a full car seat so buy a lock designed to go over the car seat harnesses. Really not that difficult an idea to come up with. I cannot believe you have allowed this behaviour and not locked those seats down.

I did this. We didn’t actually go in but just the sight of all the police cars at the station was enough. And I was very clear that the police are kind and helpful and nothing to be scared of but would be VERY cross to hear about unbuckling etc.

When they were very little I used to fasten their coats over the buckle.

Something like this OP?

(Impatiently waits for image to upload....)

The main point of my post is that they need to see a quick and unwanted consequence from you. Words alone are not going to change their behaviour. If you adopt this suggestion, they will be lucky because they get advanced warning.

I thought that question was really relevant.
I didn’t sense any smugness.

If they don’t listen to OP in other situations then it would probably be easier to start gaining authority in those situations first.

@pondplants appreciate all kids are different but I still actively remember the day mum followed through on the threat to turn the car around and there would be no day out. We were in sight of the destination and I don't think anyone thought she'd actually do it. Really drove home the message...don't mess with mum!

Was a very quiet journey home.

At 3 and 5, they are old enough to understand you saying before you leave the house: 'In the car, I need you to sit in your seat and talk quietly (or sing to nursery rhymes and songs you play for them). That is so I can concentrate on driving safely. If you don't stay in your seats and talk quietly/sing, I will turn the car round and drive straight back home. So you will not be going to x fun place.' Then follow through.

If you dedicate a weekend to this when you don't have to be anywhere other than places you choose with them, you have the potential to do this four times over the two days. Short term pain, long-term gain.

So they are in car seats. Is there not things these days to make it more difficult to get out. ? My 4 year old dgc can't actually get out of his to climb anywhere until it's spun round so evening if he undid the buckles it would be wasy

You’ve shouted at them but have you bollocked them?! I get one is only 3 so it has to be age appropriate but I actually remember trying this once with my cousin and it was a bollocking and taken straight home without tea situation. (Although I appreciate that depriving kids of tea is rightfully not an acceptable 2026 parenting technique - so it would be straight home and no telly or pudding or whatever).

it DOES sound extremely stressful and realistically if it carries on you shouldn’t be going places in the car! So that is the natural consequence - you can’t behave in the car therefore you do not go on any fun trips out the house.

You need to get locks for the buckles so they physically can't undo them. It's SO dangerous - you could kill someone (or yourselves).

Motorway you can use the hard shoulder as it’s an emergency

rural here and there are lots of gates and even other driveways that you can pull into for emergencies

if you can’t stop immediately/ slow down, get hazard lights on and tell them what you are doing

Squabble curtain? New invention- you could patent it.

I am not being smug. It was a genuine question.

I have never met anybody who have children who would do this more than once or twice. It coild end in tragedy, not to mention completely illegal. Suggests the OP is not in control of her toddler amd young child. Hence my question?

Mine are the same ages and I'm having the same problem, although no unbuckled seatbelts thankfully because I'd go spare. I'm considering making or buying some sort of divider so they can't see or touch each other.

Agreed. One of my kids does this, one did a few times one never has

And let your fear about the possible impacts come out in your voice - don’t do the gentle voice thing - let them hear your panic and see your face ( not too full on , no trauma needed )

Do you lack authority in other areas? This is a safety issue - in our house no child ever did this. Because they had boundaries.

Some kids do what they are told, some don’t regardless of consequences, “authority” or whatever. Stop being smug.

Do you lack authority in other areas? This is a safety issue - in our house no child ever did this. Because they had boundaries.

Car seats are a legal requirement. I woild be taking mine to have a 'chat' with the local police if they so much as tried taking off their car seat harness.

this kind of thing might help with the escaping?