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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to wait on steps with my injured child outside flats?

141 replies

Mammababa4 · 07/08/2026 13:57

So this morning I was meeting a friend in central London with my 4 children for breakfast then to go to a museum. My children are 7, 5, 3 and newborn.
While walking from the station to the breakfast spot my 5 year old little girl fell over, she had a bloody knee and twisted her ankle, I called my friend to ask if she could come meet us with some plasters and help me carry DD back to the station as she wasn’t going to be able to walk around a museum, my friend said sure and she would be there in 10 minutes.
DD was really struggling to put weight on her ankle so I sat her down on the steps of an apartment building. It had double doors and DD is only small so she wasn’t taking up the whole steps.

First 2 people came out, I apologised they were fine and went off to stand at the side. Then another man came out, and I told DD to bring her hand in so he didn’t step on it, but before DD got a chance he stood on her hand, she’s fine but obviously it really hurt. The man immediately swore in French (maybe thinking I don’t speak any French), then told me to move her from the steps. One of the people who had come out before came over and apologised for his swearing and told him to leave it, he was clearly angry though.
I explained to them DD is injured im waiting for a friend and we won’t be long.
A few minutes later another 3 came down clearly part of the same group I was trying to make sure all the kids stayed away from the road while comforting DD. As they open the door I said oh watch we are here. Again they told me she shouldn’t be sat there, so I explained again. None the less the man from early came back over to tell me I was being selfish and inconsiderate but the rest of his group seemed to shuffle him along. Two of them came back and asked if they could help/apologised for the man’s behaviour but said they could help me move DD around the corner where there is a small park/garden with benches. I declined as I didn’t feel comfortable with a stranger carrying DD. The man who had a very strong accent then muttered something about it being inconsiderate for me to keep blocking the door when I’d be offered helped but they walked away.

WIBU?

OP posts:
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Yokodoko · 10/08/2026 11:35

Mammababa4 I’m surprised at the comments tbh. A mom with 4 small kids certainly has her hands full & mind overloaded. I think the the apartment residents were a bit quick off the mark to chastise. I would say take a small first aid kit out with though 🌷

Jackiepumpkinhead · 09/08/2026 19:10

When a man further injured your child by stepping on her hand, you still didn’t move out of the way?

Kidznurse · 09/08/2026 19:03

What an unpleasant experience especially as you’re juggling your children and trying to comfort one of them. You’re not to blame but this example illustrates what a horrible place London has become over the last decade and why we no longer go there to be threatened, abused or mugged by it’s ‘enriching’ population. We much prefer Edinburgh or York where decent manners and consideration towards children still exist.

BitOutOfPractice · 09/08/2026 18:05

TygerBread · 07/08/2026 17:18

Presumably it was a private apartment block, so technically you were trespassing. It wasn’t just one injured person sat on the steps, it was 3 people and maybe a baby in a pram, maybe the other kids were running about making noise etc. It was convenient for you to sit there, but it wasn’t a public bench so you had no right to be there. The reaction to it may have been over-the-top…but possibly the residents have had previous problems with trespassers, such as homeless people sleeping/urinating on the steps or gangs of vandals spray painting etc.

As for calling out to people opening the door telling them to ‘watch out’, they are supposed to be there, you aren’t…so no wonder they took offence at being told to be careful.

Assuming there was somewhere nearby to sit on a wall or a bench, your 7 year old could have pushed a pram, your 3 year old could walk beside you and you could have carried your 5 year old. If you had to keep hold of your 3 year olds hand, your 5 year could have hopped with you holding their hand to ensure they don’t lose their balance. You weren’t comfortable with the offer of a lady carrying your 5 year old, but you could have asked her to walk with you and your kids to the nearest place to sit…she could have for example walked next to your 3 year old to ensure they don’t walk into the road. You were managing to walk alone with 4 kids without this injury, so with another adult to help supervise it should have been that difficult to move a few yards to a nearby wall/bench.

Unless someone is unconscious, having a heart attack, a possible spinal injury, or something else that is going to make it dangerous to move them while awaiting an ambulance…I personally would not tolerate them deciding to rest on my front doorstep for their convenience. The residents could be blind/disabled and reliant on having a clear entry/exit.

I live in a private block of flats in a (much smaller) city centre. Sure we’ve had problems like you describe. And yet, amazingly, it wouldn’t stop me realising that someone was genuine and could do with some help. Maybe on account of me not being an arsehole. As for accusing someone of trespassing if they sat on our steps….don't be ridiculous!

WiltedLettuce · 09/08/2026 10:07

Mammababa4 · 07/08/2026 18:03

Let me explain,
DD tripped up, she twisted her ankle and scrapped her knee, it didn’t seem broken but she was struggling to put weight on it as it hurt, I knew my friend was near by so I called her to bring a plaster for the knee and help push the pram to the station and help me onto the train (the staff allowed her through the barrier to help me onto the train), we are the terminating station so my mum met me there to help me off the train. A taxi would have gotten us to the station but not helpful for getting onto the train.
If I had known there was a bench near by I would have encouraged DD to walk on it with my support, but I had no idea where the next suitable place to stop would be, she was crying.
I am not saying I handled it perfectly, my newborn is only 4 weeks old, so I was overwhelmed, I didn’t want to navigate much alone and felt planting in one spot would be less stressful over all, I was wrong. I’ve bitten off more than I could chew today, noted and I’ll plan better next time.

None of us would get through life with with four young children without stepping on other people's toes sometimes, OP. It will happen, and it will be fine so long as you all reach home safe and (relatively) unscathed. Don't give up trying to do stuff with them, you'll get a feel for what works and what doesn't and kids with lots of siblings deserve to have adventures too.

And don't always assume you or your DC are in the wrong either. Some people get grumpy at children merely because they exist and take up space. Yes, you probably were in this particular scenario, but people will still get at you even when your kids are doing nothing wrong. I was out with my two yesterday and they were behaving very well and standing nicely chatting while we were queuing and someone had the nerve to say crossly to me "can you move those kids out the way?" Out the way of WHAT? They were just waiting quietly in the queue like everyone else, none of us were going anywhere.

PollyBell · 09/08/2026 04:00

PippaDee123 · 08/08/2026 21:28

You sound very dramatic and your DD sounds as though she is copying your dramatic ways

Yes this is what i picked up

HumberSquid · 09/08/2026 02:36

BringBackCatsEyes · 07/08/2026 16:12

If I left my front door and found a hurt child sitting on my door step I'd help them.

Show quote history

The OP refused an offer of help to move her child somewhere safer for some reason.

Emeraldforest · 09/08/2026 02:26

You're a brave mum,4 little ones is a lot to handle in London.
I hope you are all OK now x

PippaDee123 · 08/08/2026 21:28

You sound very dramatic and your DD sounds as though she is copying your dramatic ways

croydon15 · 08/08/2026 21:08

In your situation OP l would have let the kind stranger carry your DD to the bench, do you think he would have acted inappropriately in front of you ? Bizarre.

liverpoolnana · 08/08/2026 19:49

Springsummertime · 07/08/2026 16:00

He was rude but does sound like where you sat her wasn’t ideal! Sounds like you need better planning going out singularly with 4 kids eg double pram, buggy board etc

Also first aid things and equally important, safety reins.

Bluedenimdoglover · 08/08/2026 19:41

It's over and done with. Why on earth are you worrying about it now? You did what you could at the time. Forget it, you can't change it.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 08/08/2026 19:31

JJWT · 08/08/2026 19:29

I'm sorry but you sound absolutely pathetic. You were blocking the entrance to their home and you child was literally stood on yet when they were nice enough to offer to help you move to somewhere much more considerate you "didn't like the thought". Fgs. It is vanishing unlikely that they offered that so they could abuse her in some way. Good grief.

Such a shitty way to talk to someone, particularly an overwhelmed new mother who already took all the advice on board. Does it make you feel special?

JJWT · 08/08/2026 19:29

I'm sorry but you sound absolutely pathetic. You were blocking the entrance to their home and you child was literally stood on yet when they were nice enough to offer to help you move to somewhere much more considerate you "didn't like the thought". Fgs. It is vanishing unlikely that they offered that so they could abuse her in some way. Good grief.

theneighboureatmysalad · 08/08/2026 17:42

Tintinuviel · 08/08/2026 17:22

Being annoyed is reasonable but surely stepping on children is indefensible.

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the OP did say it wasn't intentional to be fair

ToKittyornottoKitty · 08/08/2026 17:37

Tintinuviel · 08/08/2026 17:22

Being annoyed is reasonable but surely stepping on children is indefensible.

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OP clearly explained why it was an accident

DraigCymraeg · 08/08/2026 17:30

I'm fascinated why - the first time out with FOUR kids - somebody would choose to go into central London to walk around a museum.

Notsupermumof7 · 08/08/2026 17:28

I'm 50/50 with this because I've had people give birth and get stabbed on my doorstep (not at same time) and have always offered help. Yes I'm in London. However, I have 7 myself and would have either gone to urgent care of not weight baring or given little one a plaster and a sweet and ushered her along after a minute or two.

Pro tip here from a mum of 7 (I refuse to take my youngest anywhere at the moment they're 3 year old twins and EVERYWHERE at once)
Keep a first aid kit, add a few individually wrapped sweets, extra plasters, an instant ice pack, some saline solution, steri strips, Calpol sachets and wipes. Most of the time I don't need it but it comes in handy and has saved a few strangers when we've been out.

Tintinuviel · 08/08/2026 17:22

theneighboureatmysalad · 07/08/2026 14:03

He was a twat. Not making any excuses at all, maybe he's fed up of his front door being blocked by tourists every time he goes in and out of the building, who knows.

I would have moved to the park if someone had offered help however.

Being annoyed is reasonable but surely stepping on children is indefensible.

Lovingsingledad1973 · 08/08/2026 17:05

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Imicola · 08/08/2026 16:36

Not answering the question but I'm kind of in awe that you could take 4 children of those ages into central London on your own! I'd be well out of my depth!

Thatsanotherfinemess1 · 08/08/2026 16:32

Yetone · 08/08/2026 14:27

Have you any idea what it is like living in a flat in a busy area of London. Anyone and everyone seems to think they can use your steps. Just anyone who feels they need to sit down for a rest/smoke and people in the evening who have just had too much to drink. The flat owners are not emergency workers and were probably in a hurry to get somewhere. Now if someone had a problem outside my house ( I don’t live in London) I would go and help them (and I have done) but it doesn’t happen all the time.

Show quote history

No, I haven't lived in London for years although my family grew up in Portobello road, Westbourne Park Road and Ladbrooke Crescent and Grove, so similar set up with the steps I imagine. I can't imagine them shouting at a stressed mum or hurt child briefly stopping to sort themselves out but it takes all sorts. I had no idea that there was such an enormous problem with loitering on steps!

Jerrybalanitis · 08/08/2026 16:11

I grew up in SW10 in a house around one of the squares. My dad used to tell people to fuck off if he didn't like the look of them and used to ask spitters to wash the steps but I think it was more of a sport than him nedding to keep the steps clear for rushing to give heart surgery and being obstructed by a hurt child. He would probably have invited them in and had them taken home.

Yetone · 08/08/2026 14:27

Thatsanotherfinemess1 · 08/08/2026 08:46

I would have asked if you were ok and, if I had them, offered your daughter water and a plaster, or at least a clean tissue for her cut and then suggested you sit on the bench. No need to be rude to you at all

Have you any idea what it is like living in a flat in a busy area of London. Anyone and everyone seems to think they can use your steps. Just anyone who feels they need to sit down for a rest/smoke and people in the evening who have just had too much to drink. The flat owners are not emergency workers and were probably in a hurry to get somewhere. Now if someone had a problem outside my house ( I don’t live in London) I would go and help them (and I have done) but it doesn’t happen all the time.

Thatsanotherfinemess1 · 08/08/2026 08:46

I would have asked if you were ok and, if I had them, offered your daughter water and a plaster, or at least a clean tissue for her cut and then suggested you sit on the bench. No need to be rude to you at all