To have called 10 year old a brat

Not unreasonable, he sounds like a dick.

If mine are being bratty, I certainly call them out on it, I told my 11 year old he was being a brat the other day when he was moaning that I wouldn’t buy him some sweets like I had his little brother, who had come food shopping with me…..
Apparently I favour the little one, so I calmly pointed out he was currently walking around in lovely Nike air max trainers that had arrived the day before and he was being a complete brat….

It sounds very mild and an accurate statement he is being an ungrateful brat.
They are old enough to understand that what they say had consequences. I’d not tolerate the saying hurtful things and then pretending it’s a joke. I assume there’s consequences for rudeness.
I’d be challenging - what makes you say that? It’s hurtful to say that when someone has worked hard to do something nice for you.
It sounds like they’ve had a very indulgent summer with lots of treats. Maybe have a rethink for next holiday.
Chores and development of skills like making simple meals or going on errands to shop.
Volunteering - could they help at a community litter pick (with you) or take them shopping to buy things for food bank and explain why.
I also think educational and museum trips can help - mills will displays of children climbing under looms can make children think.

Totally fine.

What I say to my kids, is this: if the person who loves you more than anything is thinking that you’re a pain in the arse, then you can guarantee that the rest of the world would.’

Yes and sometimes, to get the point across, you need to call a spade a shovel.

Do they actually enjoy going on holiday?
I just wonder as ds hated holidays as a general rule. Even doing things he loves, he's asking to go home within a couple of days.
Last three years we've left him at home (he is now 19yo for anyone who's worried) and I thought they first year he'd decide he'd missed out and want to come, but, no, he's much happier.

I've called my dc brats when they're behaving like that. It was quite effective at getting them to snap out of behaviour.

And I've never been convinced that a misbehaving child being told off will hear and internalise any difference between "you are behaving ..." and "you are...." I am pretty certain as an adult I wouldn't anyway.

When the hormones kick in, an extra dose of discipline need to kick in to match it.

There's an argument for planning next year's holiday with the kids' input - do they think the current plan is babyish? There's also arguments for doing holidays differently so that you get a holiday yourself maybe with the boys staying with a grandparent or something for some of the time separately from you all going together.

But none of that excuses the kids being rude.

A lot more would have happened to me than that, if I'd spoken to my mum in such a way. Mind you, in schools (you say you're a teacher, which is why I mention it) apparently they're very funny about what you can say-got a few friends who are teachers, who tell me the older ones say there's too much attention on how/what they're allowed to say nowadays, while they used to mind more about kids actually hitting and punching staff/students in the past.

I'm sorry but my first thought when I read this post was 'This is very middle class gentle parenting'.

I'd be concerned if you called him a bastard or a cunt, but brat? It might be a wake-up call for him.

It's not something that happens often but there's been a couple of occasions that I've let my 10yo now that she's acting like a brat/acting spoilt. Only when it was justified and when it was continuing spoilt behaviour.
She does not like it, but sometimes they need to be made aware how their behaviour is coming across.
Typically she's retreated, sulked a bit, and then her behaviour has improved a lot.

Nowadays she doesn't really act like that and is grateful and thanks me for trips/holidays etc.

Schools have been closed for 3 weeks, that’s a lot going on in 3 weeks. Maybe they’re overwhelmed with you trying to keep them occupied the whole time? They’re probably already anticipating a long and boring flight without their tablets to keep them entertained, seems like an own goal to not bring them! How much response do they get from you when they make these comments? I’d be ignoring them completely because paying attention to it will be fuelling it.

They aren’t used to having you and your husband to themselves and it is out of routine so they will naturally push to see how much will be taken. Being called out for ‘brattish’ behaviour is actually a normal thing, you don’t get away with it in normal society when you’re a grown up. X

Is there a way to make holiday spending money really visible so there is a financial reduction consequence for each of these bratty outbursts...explaining that before you set off?

Hope it's a happy holiday OP

I never really understand all the handwringing on here about things like this. Normally posters will be falling overthemselves to highlight how traumatic and damaging it is to be called a brat or a little shit

I call a spade a spade.

If the cap fits

Semantics. You are BEHAVING like an asshole, pack it in, is different from saying you ARE an asshole, pack it in.

My cousin had flown from the States with his family including his 13 year daughter to Rome . Plush hotel and planned a great schedule. Apparently she moaned and moaned , complaining about her phone coverage . Next day he left her in hotel all day with no phone . She pulled herself together and we still say How did you like Rome to tease her at 30 years old and a mother .

To be honest I don't blame you from you've said has been going on.

100% this 🤣👏 I'm getting Julia from Motherland vibes from you lol

He was being an absolute brat though…I think you were actually under reacting if I’m honest!

I suspect as a teacher you are used to having to rein in your comments and thoughts with the children in your class, so have shocked yourself with this! You called him out on it, he has the chance to turn it around, or there are consequences.

You did fine!

Haha – yes, I did acknowledge that there would be some very tough love parents on here. Totally expected.

Child development incentives show that this kind of tactic is very influential up to age 10, actually – so the evidence disagrees with you there. Underlying practices don't stop working when a child is out of a certain age bracket. What changes is how you apply them. At 10, parental attention and approval are still strong reinforcers of behaviour.

He's ten...not five. Teenage years are fast approaching, I would rather tell them the truth once ("you are being a brat") at this age than piss about gently parenting the bratty behaviour out of him.
If I behaved like a brat as a child I was told I was being a brat, if I was being deliberately annoying I was told I was being annoying. I have now grown up with no ill effects.

Why are you asking ?
Do you seriously think YABU ?
That’s concerning to me , you seem afraid of them.
Children need boundaries and it’s your job to set them . There’s nothing way you’re this passive in the classroom .