To have called 10 year old a brat

When you say being a brat, what you actually mean is that they were struggling. Sadly it doesn’t sound like you supported them, just called them a name and let them sit with whatever they were struggling with on their own. What did that teach them about relationships and how people should treat each other?

Hmm no there are reasons why kids do things, calling them a brat doesn’t fix anything, just tells them the adult didn’t want to listen to them. It just shuts down their feelings. A respectful adult would be able to listen and find out more.

Wow, and yet from the post it’s really clear that OP hasn’t supported them or listened to how they felt at all. Just her own feelings of disappointment that they are spoiling her holiday. Kids deserve to be listened to, even if you can’t change plans you can listen and validate their emotions. They don’t deserve to be called names because they upset a grown person who should be able to handle their emotions better.

Why, where’s the link? Why will removing the tablet make them feel more positive about going on holiday? Surely some open questions to try and understand why they don’t want to go would be better than reaching straight for a punishment…

I think you are focusing too much on things being perfect - it’s absolutely fine for them to tell you they aren’t excited. You are asking them to be grateful about something you chose to do. And you can feel disappointed at them saying they didn’t want to go but it’s not fair to expect them to absorb your feelings and to name call. Plus it isn’t true, they don’t owe you anything so to call them ungrateful brats isn’t fair. Those are your adult feelings and you need to sit and work out why it upsets you.

You could say - aw no I’m sorry to hear that, what is it you aren’t looking forward to about holiday? That way you are opening up a conversation and trying to understand if it’s something you could help them with, or if it’s about something else.

It’s also worth adjusting your mindset too - they aren’t giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time. Please don’t call them names on here, just work with them, try and understand where they are at. They are your kids, you love them no matter what. It’s hard being a parent, definitely - but try not to see it as being about you when they are clearly struggling with something.

Thank you for making me feel better/normal. Teacher too. I called my 11 year old a spoilt brat on holiday this week due to their demands. I just lost it. In hindsight, we probably put so much on ourselves to have the perfect holiday, especially as teachers as this time of year means so much. Normally, I am a good parent and apologise for any grumpiness, but I actually didn't this time as they were being awful for a moment.

Tbf id consider brat fairly mild.
But the first time I called them that, they appeared to be very hurt. Not sure if it's such an old term, it really stung.
But they were being brats, as yours were.

Ps I fairly regularly tell my 5yo to stop doing things that are annoying and I tell him he being really annoying! He also finds this amusing but he does actually stop. Stuff like banging cutlery or making high pitched noises. Annoying stuff! Call it what it is.

Maybe you could start ‘joking’ that they won’t be coming on holiday with you next year then if they think it will be rubbish. See if he likes that style of joke then! Honestly OP you sound like a lovely mum and don’t feel guilty for calling your kids out for being annoying. It won’t do them any harm once in a while!

Maybe it's actually the anticipation of the holiday and the excitement that is making them act that way. My kids always act more dickish when they are excited for something, because the waiting is hard and feels far longer for them than us. One of mine also hates travelling so is an absolute arsehole before any trips and nearly always makes us nearly late and me being incredibly stressed, but then loves it once we are there (until the last day when the anxiety of travelling starts again!).
Whatever the cause of the behaviour though, you're well within your rights to call them out for it. If you feel like you went too far (and I'm absolutely not saying you did), then model apologising and explaining what you meant and hopefully that will help him reflect on his own behaviour.
Have a great holiday, I'm sure your boys will love it once you are there!

I called one of mine a spoiled brat this morning 🤷‍♀️ she was and I don’t regret it. Sometimes they need to hear the truth.

I'm a pretty chilled and supportive/gentle parent but sometimes behaviour needs calling out. I've often said my kids are behaving like brats, or behaving brattishly - I think it's a really easy description that they understand and it's not like it's a swear word. Sometimes they need to hear it. I'd probably then just wait for him to finish sulking and then discuss what positive/non bratty behaviour would look like so that everyone can have a nice holiday! Good luck OP

Sounds like you said it just right. It will only get worse if you let it.

Ach OP, I told my 7yo he needed to stop acting like a brat after he chucked a €20 note (his spending money for the hol) in a fit of anger when I asked him to put it in my bag for safe keeping. He too has been acting up all week and being rude and I just cracked at that point. I know he's only 7 but I think he needed to hear it as money doesn't grow on trees and he needs to stop being rude.

This is true - but usually there is something at the back of it.

Maybe apologise OP but say you were at the end of your tether as you cannot understand why he is behaving like this and see if he can explain it.

He might be wanting an opportunity to open up.

If the shoe fits and all… He is a brat.

When I was about 13, my mum told me I was acting like a bitch. I remember being absolutely appalled that she said such a thing to me, but it stuck with me...and she was right to call me out, I was behaving terribly!

My mum never swore at us normally, so this was very out of character for her. There's a difference between calling out behaviour and name-calling.

Now I have 2 daughters of my own...send help!

He was being a brat, he needs to learn that is not ok.
Tomorrow “Are you going to behave today or will you continue yesterday’s brat-like behaviour?”

Friends of mine tell a story where one small child turned to the other and said ‘I think we might be being little buggers again’ . Said friend and sister are still very close to their parents. Sometimes they just need telling.

They are out of routine swear it makes them worse, I have a particularly difficult child albeit younger but I can understand your frustration. Sounds like maybe the u known is making them skittish. I find my kids don't like change as much as I do they are more like dh. They may be anxious about the upcoming holiday or flight (if flying)

When my children say mean things to me (to get a reaction) I've started using the mumsnet response : 'did you really mean to be so unkind/rude?' It actually floors them!

If you don’t tell your child they are a brat then they won’t know they are one. Kids don’t know everything about how to be a civilised human being, we have to tell them.

“ don’t eat with your fingers, use your spoon or your fork”, “ don’t wipe your nose on your sleeve, use a tissue, and put the tissue in the bin afterwards “ “don’t behave like that please, that is what brats do”

I fear I would have called him a little shit something much worse, kudos to you for being so tame.

Our kids rarely had holidays away: Ourgate was always the normal holiday destination.

This