To have called 10 year old a brat

I never really understand all the handwringing on here about things like this. Normally posters will be falling overthemselves to highlight how traumatic and damaging it is to be called a brat or a little shit

I call a spade a spade.

If the cap fits

Semantics. You are BEHAVING like an asshole, pack it in, is different from saying you ARE an asshole, pack it in.

My cousin had flown from the States with his family including his 13 year daughter to Rome . Plush hotel and planned a great schedule. Apparently she moaned and moaned , complaining about her phone coverage . Next day he left her in hotel all day with no phone . She pulled herself together and we still say How did you like Rome to tease her at 30 years old and a mother .

To be honest I don't blame you from you've said has been going on.

100% this 🤣👏 I'm getting Julia from Motherland vibes from you lol

He was being an absolute brat though…I think you were actually under reacting if I’m honest!

I suspect as a teacher you are used to having to rein in your comments and thoughts with the children in your class, so have shocked yourself with this! You called him out on it, he has the chance to turn it around, or there are consequences.

You did fine!

Haha – yes, I did acknowledge that there would be some very tough love parents on here. Totally expected.

Child development incentives show that this kind of tactic is very influential up to age 10, actually – so the evidence disagrees with you there. Underlying practices don't stop working when a child is out of a certain age bracket. What changes is how you apply them. At 10, parental attention and approval are still strong reinforcers of behaviour.

He's ten...not five. Teenage years are fast approaching, I would rather tell them the truth once ("you are being a brat") at this age than piss about gently parenting the bratty behaviour out of him.
If I behaved like a brat as a child I was told I was being a brat, if I was being deliberately annoying I was told I was being annoying. I have now grown up with no ill effects.

Why are you asking ?
Do you seriously think YABU ?
That’s concerning to me , you seem afraid of them.
Children need boundaries and it’s your job to set them . There’s nothing way you’re this passive in the classroom .

Very hard when you’ve had it all week - it would be nice if we were all like Mary Poppins but we’ve all got a breaking point.

You'll get some really tough love parents on MN, but I personally think this amounts to name-calling, so no, I don't think it's great (understandable though, absolutely).

Your DS is looking for a rise out of you when he says provocative comments like this – any attention, even negative, is still attention for a child. Do not give it any attention, completely and utterly ignore it, and warmly praise any desirable attention you see. He may escalate at first in order to get the attention, but do not give in.

Sounds accurate description tbh

I wouldn't worry, it's not just you/your kids.

I took my DC to a waterpark yesterday. The older one hurt a younger child because he didn't look coming down a slide, despite me having told him at least 10 times to be careful down the slides and follow the rules. He was sorry about it, but then I was called names and moaned at for making him sit out for 10 minutes to remind him to use the slides safely 🙄. He's usually reasonably well behaved. We're only a couple of weeks into the school holidays and this week I've already seen loads of fed up parents and grandparents, including two different parents absolutely letting rip at their kids as we left yesterday 😅.

There's a no frills sports holiday camp near us, and I've threatened my older kid with being chucked in there for large chunks of the rest of the holiday if he can't keep a civil tongue in his head.

I remember when my dc were that age.
They are so annoying...

But they can only be spoilt or brats, if we let them be!

Sometimes they just need to hear it/be shown.

I once did the 'if you don't bloody stop fratching I'm turning this car around and we're going home' thing with my two eldest kids. We were on our way to the seaside for the day.

Well they carried on, so we turned the car around and drove all the way home- even though we'd almost reached the beach car park. They could see the sea and everything!

They still talk about that, and they are 27 and 25 now 😂

Thinking back, I've also called my children an utter dick, cowbag and a dozy twonk, so brat isn't all that bad.

"If you don't want to be called a brat, don't behave like a brat. The choice is yours "

I think YANBU but just try to remember that their hormones are kicking in at this age!

It’s worrying that you think you can’t call your child a brat when they are being brattish. You’re the boss!

My lovely friend currently has her 15 yo on holiday ruining every day with sulks and moans. Nip it in the bud now! If they don’t want to be called a brat then it’s simple, don’t behave like one. I’m very much of the opinion dc need to know when they cross a line. I’d set clear expectations for behaviours on holiday then draw a line and go and have the best time.

He is a great dad but he was definitely very strict with certain things. Extremely lax on most things but the second we upset my mum he was a totally different person. Even after they split up I’d sometimes go to his house after my mum had told me off thinking I’d get the soft touch but I’d just get bollocked again 😂. He’s totally different with my kids now though he’s got an excuse for everything they do and apparently they’re “just wee babies” and “kids will be kids” … gone soft now because they’re not his problem I guess.

Mine are the same age and exactly the same. I wouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt about calling them a brat. In fact I think you’re restrained.

I like the sound of your dad 😁

I’m a really good mum and have a great relationship with my kids (now adult) but I remember calling my eldest a little shit once. I didn’t beat myself up over it because he was being one. My mum never swore in day to day life except when it came to us kids and then she called us all the names 😁, kids drive the most saintly parents into near insanity at times, it happens 🤷‍♀️.