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AIBU?

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AIBU to be upset he forgot the holiday payment then shouted at me for paying it?

107 replies

MarilynSays · 07/08/2026 08:30

Can I get some perspective on a situation as I'm feeling a bit shocked.
Family holiday booked, think UK based and cost approx £500 for accommodation. Travel and food still would need paying for at the time of the holiday for family of 4.
Reason I am feeling shocked is that we paid the deposit (myself and DH) months ago, and at that time he said "don't worry, I will pay the rest". I politely and in a nice tone reminded him earlier this week to pay, and he just said "oh", like he'd forgotten. Reminded again two days ago, and he barely responded. So yesterday I paid the balance (due date or we would lose our booking) and told him I did feel irritated as he'd said he was going to pay it. He got very cross and shouted "well thanks for making me feel like the bad guy and a complete c*nt!!" I was so shocked as we've been together for a long time think 15 years, and have barely argued about things like this!
I've woken up this morning, he's gone to work, but I'm thinking I will ask him to cover all food and transport as that will be around the same cost that I covered yesterday. It's not really about the money though, I am annoyed he couldn't shoulder the responsibility for paying the final balance, leaving it to me, then shouting at me when I dared say I was upset about it? Am I being unreasonable? We have a joint account and he does earn more than me and contribute more usually without me ever needing to ask, which is why last night shocked me so much. Not sure if I am acting like a spoiled princess. For context I work part time and look after/arrange childcare when I work for our two DC.

OP posts:
KrazyKatty · 07/08/2026 08:37

Tell him that you won’t be spoken to like that and you expect an apology and an explanation for why he hadn’t paid the balance when he agreed to.

Mangetouts · 07/08/2026 08:35

If course you're not behaving like a spoiled princess. He's behaving like a brat though. He either couldn't be bothered or was too lazy.

I take it that he did actually want to go on holiday and this wasn't a PA way of getting it cancelled, even if he lost the deposit?

Sparkletastic · 07/08/2026 08:34

Might he be hiding a cash flow problem?

Tel12 · 07/08/2026 08:33

Sounds like he doesn't actually want to go. You need to talk.

gamerchick · 07/08/2026 08:33

Or money worries you don't know about?

There will be something you're not aware of yet I'd hazard a guess.

gamerchick · 07/08/2026 08:31

Does he want to go on holiday? Sounds like he doesn't.

Rainallnight · 07/08/2026 08:31

Is this really completely out of character for him?

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