AIBU to feel upset by DH saying I struggle with motherhood

I’d ask him to explain what he means by these comments. Where is he getting his understanding of what motherhood ought to look like or entail? Does he actually know any other mothers / talk to them in detail about their experience?

What did he imagine parenthood was going be like? That as a woman you’d instinctively have all the answers to everything, and shut off your biological need for sleep, and feel utterly fulfilled by changing nappies and cleaning up sick and dealing with toddler tantrums? And that if ever you have a hard day and want a bit of comfort / support / reassurance from your spouse it means you’re doing it wrong and/or weak and needy?

Is he a tactless and blundering communicator with little curiosity about other people’s experience, or does be belittle you in other ways?

ETA: just to be clear, it sounds like you’re perfectly normal to me, and not ‘struggling with motherhood’ ffs!

Nope sounds completely normal. He sounds like a twat, though. Is he struggling with being a good husband? How is he as a father? Not projecting is he?

You sound as though you are doing a brilliant job OP.
It sounds as though for some reason he is deliberately trying to undermine you.

He’s struggling but he doesn’t know how to communicate it.
Most people don’t say what they mean because they don’t know how they feel. So instead they just try to make everyone feel as bad as they do.

I'd ask him what parenting/instructions manual he got this idea from......oh wait there isn't one!!
I'd be asking him to explain himself properly and why he thinks this way.
OP you are doing an amazing job. 💐🙏❤️

I bet its him thats actually struggled.

I’m so sorry he has said that to you. Mums need encouragement and building up. It’s a bloody hard job. What has he brought to the table?

This as well.

He hadn’t given much thought to the actual work involved in parenting, is surprised and resentful that you’re not 100% cheerful and available to attend to him the way you were before DC, and is projecting his struggles and discontentment on to you and interpreting it as your weakness or incompetence rather than his own neediness.

Ask him if he’d appreciate your describing him as ‘struggling’ with his job when he’s got a big project on or a heavy workload.

Your husband is a negging prick.
Yanbu.
I presume you are married to a belittling piece of shit that is trying to drag you down.

No way a good man would say this.

HUGE red flag.

If a friend said this I would believe she was being emotionally abused.