is this bag childish for year 7

That is honestly far too small for secondary school. My son moved to a year 9 start school last year with the same Adidas bag from his old school and lasted three weeks before he moved to a laptop bag from amazon. He also uses a Nike boot bag for his pe kit attached via a carribiner clip.

Yep. I thought this. Such a sad thing that children would bully another child over a backpack.

Yes but I do agree with your eldest.

Tell him it's sold out and find something more suitable. A plain black design is ideal. That bag is just too childish for secondary school and it will make him stand out in a negative way, something that he doesn't yet understand. I'm autistic myself and there's a stereotype that autistic boys are obsessed with Sonic - I can absolutely see a secondary school-aged boy being teased for having this bag.

Black bag and black trainers with laces tucked in- no need to tie them. I would try and get both new, if you can possibly afford it, rather than on Vinted.

I showed DS13. He looked aghast and said your son would definitely be teased by some kids.

It is also definitely not big or strong enough

If he's really set on it could he use the sonic bag for lunch or PE kit to keep in a bigger bag?

Tricky because he should be able to use whatever bag he likes… There is a high probability though for piss taking because most kids will have plain Nike/Adidas bags.
How would he handle other kids being horrible to him about it, I have one daughter that would have been mortified and is very keen on being the popular same as everyone else girl. And I have another daughter who couldn’t give a toss about anyone else’s opinions and could hold her own when it came to anyone being mean about her alternative fashion choices… She’s actually pretty cool and I wish I was more like her.. 13 and genuinely couldn’t give a fuck.

Ahhh yes sorry op but he cant use either of those bags. He just cant, bless him 😔

Echoing everyone else- larger rucksack needed in black. Addidas, Nike or UnderArmour are top choices but plain black is totally fine.
I know he shouldn’t have to ‘fit in’ but there is no need to make year 7 harder than it has to be.

Would he like either of these Op, I think they are definitely a more mature version of what he's looking for so less likely to get teased. x

Those are awful bags for a high school kid.

Well said @WhatsUpWithGene. If parents, schools or eleven year olds could ’just deal with’ bullying then it would not happen in the first place.

That’s a great find. I think that would be perfect, if it’s a better size, which I’m sure it will be.

Fortunately my daughters school have a plain bag rule or she would try to choose similar so I feel for you. A random keyring on a plain bag is Ok. But yeah those bags will make him a target.its sad and of course it shouldn't be the case but it just is what it is.
My daughters nan got her a 'cooler' tote style bag but she wont carry it. But has made peace with a plain backpack. Has he read any of the books by autistic people with autistic protagonists? My daughter has found these helpful in navigating secondary school weirdness.

As for comfort with the bullying, We always use a phrase that I picked up in Michelle Obamas lovely autobiography. Her mum used to say to her something like, you go out into this world and not everyone is going to get you/ be nice to you/ love you. But you know where you can always come and be loved. Home. Bit cheesey but it works for us in rationalising other kids poor and unkind behaviour without getting too stuck into it.

Have you ever been bullied?!

It’s not as simple as just “dealing with them”.

I was spat at, called names, pushed into things, hit, kicked and my hair pulled. My lunch was spat in, I was tripped over and much worse kids pretended to befriend me then bullied me over things I told them because I was naive and trusting.

If I “grassed” it got worse, my mum had to come and pick me up from school to stop me being attacked on the way home.

I attempted suicide and kids followed me round telling me to do it properly when they found out and posted paracetamol through my door with notes saying to take it.

This was all from being a little bit different and started with pink sparkly trainers on my first day…

I think you need to focus on the size of the bag. They really do need something much bigger than either of those. He'll have subject packs, books, loose sheets, stationery, calculator, lunch, and a Chromebook to carry around school, and to and from school. He'll have to keep his water bottle with him in his bag too, it can't be left at the back of the class or on his desk like in primary as he will move class every subject.

The bag doesn't have to be a sport brand, get onto Amazon and buy a plain black or blue or khaki one if he won't have a sport brand.

Could you get a relative to give it to him as a gift to celebrate starting school? He might feel it's a bit more special if it was a gift from and aunty or grandparent.

My son wore velcro shoes in y7, but plain black innocuous so no one noticed. He has small feet so still in a size 3 I think and could get velcro. He wouldn't be able to now in year 9 as it's hard to find velcro for size 6 feet. He wears trainer style shoes and can't tolerate hard soles and stuff leather (also autistic). His biggest fear about going to big school was having to wear long trousers as he'd refused to wear anything other than shorts for 3 years no matter what the weather!

I found my son grew up a lot in y7 and a lot of his sensory issues around clothes are no longer issues. Except still no hard sole shoes.

He also found his crowd, there will be boys like your son at school, he will find his people.

My son doesn't have an echp and apparently wouldn't reach the bar to get one but he does get a LOT of support from the SEN team especially around organisation as his executive functioning is almost non-existent!

Aside from the bag, Your boy will be fine, I'm sure.

Yes. Don't let him take that one.

Plain Nike or Adidas.
X

Another vote for it being too childish not to cause attention. Bless him. He should be able to take any bag he likes but kids can be so cruel. I think you’re right to help him fit in more on his first day until he has a friendship group formed. he can still enjoy sonic stuff at home.

My son is 10, going into Y6, has just refused all bags shown to him aside from black Nike with a big white Nike logo on it. He also liked a Hype bag with big blue and green graphics on it. I’ll attach pictures

I am autistic and growing up a LOT of autistic boys are obsessed with sonic, it’s a whole thing online. He will absolutely be bullied as I’ve grown up around this stereotype. As will these kids. Please just get him a plain black backpack. I had a Naruto side bag and was relentlessly bullied.

I’m sorry OP, I know it might upset your son and he has his heart set on one of those bags but you’d be cruel to let him and would be basically putting a target on his back.

He is autistic and can’t foresee it happening and doesn’t realise that some people bully others who stand out because it wouldn’t occur for him to do the same. He just sees a bag he wants and has fixated on it, he will likely get very upset if you refuse to buy it but will be more upset if he’s laughed at over it or worse.

I am autistic and my mum almost certainly was as well and when I wanted childish things for school or things that made me even more likely to be bullied she didn’t steer me away from them and I remember clearly screaming at her that it was her fault I had been laughed at for buying me pink sparkly trainers instead of the black kickers everyone was wearing.
My mum said “but you wanted them?!”
In my head she should have refused and protected me but in her head she didn’t want to say no and disappoint me.

I was really severely bullied for being different to the point I had a nervous breakdown and stopped going to school in year 9 and it still affects me now. If there was any risk of putting my child through the same I’d avoid it.

It’s not fair but kids are cruel and it’s confusing and distressing when you don’t understand what you’ve done to make others hate you and when you wouldn’t act that way yourself.
You don’t seem to see this as the issue it could become if you don’t say no to those childish bags.

My friend has an autistic daughter who wanted things that would be seen as childish but my friend asked around for what others were taking (right down to stationary) and bought them so she fitted in.
Her daughter was very resistant but then was relieved when she realised she would have stood out which she would have hated.

I know there are other worries but I do think this could be an issue and as pp have said it’s also too small.
You could focus on the size issue if you find it hard to say no but that bag is only going to last a few days anyway if you agree to it.

Just get a bigger black bag .

It's too small. Would be ok with a plain bag (my 21 year old still uses the one we bought him for secondary school) that he can add things too. Mine used to have various key rings etc attached depending on what he liked that year.

Would say the same. Both bags are like putting a bulls eye on his back even if he didn’t have special needs.

A very confident older boy may get away with it, but to be honest… you really don’t like him to start with the wrong foot on the very first day… pretend they are no longer available, we sometimes need to lie a bit to protect our ND kids from making a target of themselves.

I would say not suitable, sorry. He could use it in weekends.
A black Nike or Adidas rucksack would be best and safest! It also looks too small although photo could be deceiving.
Is Hype still in? Was a while since my DC were in school or even Herschel?

I would pick your battles. If he wants to take that bag let him take it. Transitioning to high school is a huge thing for most young people but likely has more challenges with a neurodivergent young person. Bullies will be bullies. You can deal with them if there's issues.
In relation to the EHCP ... it's not too late. Consider applying yourself for assessment.