is this bag childish for year 7

The Spider-Man is a Keyring with his initial to go on the red bag 😂

we've been told level 1 ASD kids aren't applicable for an EHCP because they can cope in mainstream education.

Whoever told you that lied. EHCPs are based on needs, not diagnosis. DC in MS can have EHCPs. Some with level 1 ASD dx have EHCPs. Some with level 1 ASD dx can’t cope in MS.

Yes, way too babyish. That's a bag for a 6 year old.

Both those bags are too young I'm afraid. I'd go for a plain black Nike or Adidas rucksack. I've got kids who had really individual tastes at primary and it broke my heart buying them plain black everything for secondary, but it's really important to help them blend in sadly.

My son was diagnosed autistic in year 5. He has been bullied since year 4, and it makes me sad how much he worries about not fitting in now. He hates the fact he's autistic and it makes him different.

So, I've had the opposite conversation with him. He was asking from.halfway through year 6, for me to get rid of his dinosaur themed bag (similar to the Jurassic Park one in style). He's asked for a plain, dark navy laptop backpack, which is close to feeling able to express himself he can get (blue is his favourite colour).

I agree, that making sure it has enough space is important; he has to carry an iPad, books, PE kit, wallet and water bottle. So, if I was you, I'd use that as a reason he has to have a plainer bag. And keep the more novelty bags for home stuff/holidays away.

But, I admire your son for being confident in himself. I wish my son was that, and I try to encourage him to embrace who he is, but for him, a couple of years of bullying and others pointing out he's weird and different have definitely taken their toll.

My son is only diagnosed level 1 (I know those terms are outdated but that was the diagnosis given), but we've been told level 1 ASD kids aren't applicable for an EHCP because they can cope in mainstream education. Does your son have the same needs?

No she can't, she's already explained she has two older children there. And what would she say when he started and he saw for himself it wasn't true.

I don't see why lying to him
is a solution.

nah thats cool af

Can you tell him it’s school uniform policy to have a plain rucksack? You have my sympathies my son is also autistic and I have the same worries. I hope it all goes well for him.

Fine at primary and at home. But high school is a very different beast. And to a degree, it’s best for kids’ social survival if they try to fit in!

Agree with this. I'd use the sizing as the reason.

On one hand it is sad, but really I think it's a normal social skills all dc have to learn to be discerning how much they share of themselves in different situations.

I love Lord of the Rings and board games, but that isn't an interest I talk about at work. I talk about gardening, as that's more likely to be an interest people can connect to. I think adults edit what side of ourselves we show to others all the time, making judgements about how it's likely to be received.

Ultimately, I know my dd has to live in the real world, and her life is likely to be more pleasant if she doesn't share all her interests with everyone. Coaching her around what to share when is the lesser of two evils I think.

What do you mean “he won’t budge”? You are the person PAYING for the bag, so it’s 100% your choice what you provide him with. Just buy a plain bag that is the appropriate size to fit A4 folders and his lunch etc. If he moans, just say “this is what you need for secondary school” and that’s the end of the conversation. The mistake you have made is allowing him to believe it is his choice what you buy.

It’s always good to give kids a bit of choice and individuality, but within boundaries. For example, if he wanted a £1k bag for school, surely you would said a straightforward ‘no’…this is no different. The bags designed for young children are too small, simple as that, plus why buy from vinted something small, with wear and tear and flimsy, when it’s obvious he will need a sturdy bag? If you send him to school with a small second hand bag…it will make it appear to the school staff that you are not managing financially or not providing properly as they will assume he has had the same bag all through primary and you are too tight/negligent to buy him a new one once he grew out of it.

If he wanted to buy orange school shoes, with a dress code of black, would you entertain that conversation as well?

If he’s still into things that are below his age range, it’s not sensible to keep him there, as he’s going to get further and further away from his peer group at school and find it harder to make friends. If he really enjoys very childish things like plastic dinosaur toys etc, keep that at home in his bedroom. At school he will be interacting with kids who are up to the age of 16, you already have older kids, so find out what they watch on tv etc and start to guide your youngest towards things that will give him things in common with other kids at school.

There are a few things that are a bit childish that are still popular with secondary school kids, such as OnePiece etc. You may find the school has something like a Lego club which could suit a child with younger interests. He’s not going to grow up overnight, but with a little directing, you can find a happy medium.

If he is sensitive or finds it hard to keep up with kids his own age due to low maturity…then he needs all the help he can get…sending him to school with a bag designed for a 7 year-old is going to make him stand out in a negative way and be a bad way for him to get started. If he’s not able to stand up for himself with bullies or be a popular kid, the best way is to blend in and not draw attention.

I think that bag will be fine. My 12 year old said that the boys just tend to have Nike bags, so that will be ok, she said he would get bullied for a sonic bag. I live in a semi rural village in Cheshire, the high school is in Cheshire but a mixture of areas, still quite "soft" compared to a city high school but they'd get bullied for the sonic bag.

Yes I would go for something plain black or navy blue.

Don't show him the ones he can't have. Just search up black backpacks for secondary school and he'll have to pick one of those. Sometimes too much choice makes it harder.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/NIKE-DD0562-ELEMENTAL-Sports-backpack/dp/B09F35Y815/ref=asc_df_B09F35Y815?mcid=128ec0b73d7334a68eaa681b7e47970c&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=697275011458&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=12434647294485637838&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046637&hvtargid=pla-1457314717656&psc=1&hvocijid=12434647294485637838-B09F35Y815-&hvexpln=0&gad_source=1

It is sad. I don't think anyone would dispute that. But having worked in secondary schools this is the reality and I wouldn't be throwing my child to the wolves by sending them in to secondary school with a Sonic or Dinosaur backpack to make some kind of principled stand about the right to express their individuality.

OP might have to appeal, potentially more than once, but it is possible to get an EHCP with what the OP describes.

If provision in EHCPs isn’t being provided, the EHCP can be enforced, including via JR if necessary. Parents don’t have to accept unlawful behaviour and should be support to challenge LAs and schools rather than accept it. As LAs have been shown time and again, lack of funding, resources and staffing are not lawful excuses for breaches of the law.

@dinosaursroars that red one is a good compromise - it’s a ‘safe’ brand but it’s got a bit of colour. I suspect keychains etc will be fine but perhaps take the bag in as is for the first week or so and see if other kids have keychains or decorations?

Disclaimer - of course none of this should matter, but unfortunately it does. I still remember going in on my first non uniform day in year 7 in 1998 wearing a blue floral slip skirt (and looking, though i do say myself, very cool in a 90s grunge kind of way 😁) and I remember being tormented all day by a roomful of kids wearing identical black bootcut trousers. I thought they were idiots and still do, but that didn’t make it hurt any less or make me less uncomfortable that day. I also recall a girl who started year 7 in my school wearing white lacy knee socks and t-bar shoes. A very cool look on a confident teenager, a terrible look on an awkward tween whose parents wouldn’t let her grow up. She was mercilessly picked on, and i remember thinking even as a 15 year old, ‘why the hell didn’t her parents prepare her better?’

Go for the red one. Don't go spiderman.
X

The Sonic one looks like it's for kids of about 6-7 yo. The Jurassic one looks a little more mature, but still more late primary age. I think the latter if he insists. Unless others have similar he could feel like he stands out too much and choose a plainer one once he starts.

Winter hat? 😂

If PE kit is two items, say polo shirt and jumper, and this is all compulsory then they’re on five so legally you could kick back at that. But presumably if your DC are already there you’ve got them anyway so may as well get use out of them.

I guess that means the Y7 kids can’t get into trouble if they had blazer and PE kit but their own bag.

Glad I don’t have to police that 😂

The only branded items in our school are blazer, bag, PE kit and winter hat. The rest are generic (jumper and tie have to be bought in a uniform shop but they are unbranded)

The rest can be bought from anywhere but are very strictly prescribed. You'd get a detention for a wrong colored socks or jacket.

Well yes you probably have a good point

The rule comes in next month, the schools can only have three logo/special material (like kilts I assume) compulsory items plus tie which includes PE kit and bags. Everything else must be allowed to be bought from anywhere.

I think it’s a great step forward - some schools were even insisting trousers/skirts had a logo embroidered on rather than letting parents buy a five pack at Sainsbury’s for a similar price