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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think people on MN should stop directly engaging with you once you’ve asked them to?

160 replies

ThatJadeLion · 06/08/2026 11:57

I find it utterly baffling that some people cannot accept that others may hold a different view on Mumsnet and similar platforms.
Of course it’s a discussion forum, and people are entitled to disagree, continue the wider conversation and express their own opinions. But once somebody has clearly said, “We have different views, I don’t wish to discuss this with you any further,” I think that boundary should be respected.

Some posters continue quoting and directly responding to the same person again and again, becoming increasingly argumentative or aggressive, even after being asked to stop. At that point, it no longer feels like a normal exchange of views; in some cases, it can begin to feel like someone is being deliberately hounded.

AIBU to think there should be a way to prevent another poster from repeatedly quoting or directly engaging with you... or at least a point at which they are expected to let it go? They could still continue the general discussion, just without persistently coming back to somebody who has made it clear they no longer wish to engage.

OP posts:
ThatJadeLion · 06/08/2026 13:33

Anarchy99 · 06/08/2026 13:25

I am always surprised when people believe all they have to do is tell someone not to reply to them though!

To be fair, I would respect someone's boundaries if they asked me not to message them directly.

OP posts:
Andeverybodyknowsthat · 06/08/2026 13:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

WearyAuldWumman · 06/08/2026 13:31

Anarchy99 · 06/08/2026 13:26

Ignoring them is the best way to deal with it. And blocking is a bit cowardly. If someone behaves in a threatening or aggressive way, MNHQ deals with it.

Blocking would help in cases where someone is demanding a response, but yes - there's always MNHQ.

As it is, I just ignore the poster with the peculiar behaviour now.

OriginalSkang · 06/08/2026 13:28

I don't think blocking would work. If you couldn't see some posts in a thread because you'd blocked the person, if would read really weirdly. Especially if you were a serial blocker

ApricotTulip · 06/08/2026 13:28

ApricotTulip · 06/08/2026 13:26

I think it's because you said Amanda Knox was guilty but wouldn't give any reason why you thought that. Amanda has been fully exonerated and someone else was jailed for Meredith's murder. There was no evidence Amanda was involved

Also, the poster was not aggressive to you

gamerchick · 06/08/2026 13:27

Backedoffhackedoff · 06/08/2026 12:01

You should be able to block people

I'd support that, because it means getting rid of name changing.

ToCatchACat · 06/08/2026 13:27

I think that whilst it is unpleasant that some people feel harassed by other posters debating style it can't really be helped on a public forum without dampening the discussion.

I would much rather continue to defend my opinion than have to tiptoe around saying that I vehemently disagree with another poster because I've already said that twice and they don't like it.

Everyone has the option to walk away from MN.

Anarchy99 · 06/08/2026 13:26

WearyAuldWumman · 06/08/2026 13:20

I'd quite like a 'block' button. There was one particular poster who was behaving towards me in quite a bizarre way, I thought.

Now, I simply refuse to reply to any of their posts directed at me.

Ignoring them is the best way to deal with it. And blocking is a bit cowardly. If someone behaves in a threatening or aggressive way, MNHQ deals with it.

ApricotTulip · 06/08/2026 13:26

I think it's because you said Amanda Knox was guilty but wouldn't give any reason why you thought that. Amanda has been fully exonerated and someone else was jailed for Meredith's murder. There was no evidence Amanda was involved

XenoBitch · 06/08/2026 13:26

I think the option to hide existing and future posts on a thread from a particular poster would be a good idea.

Anarchy99 · 06/08/2026 13:25

JudyTeeny · 06/08/2026 13:18

Of course I report trolls.
I also know that normally you can't tell if people have changed their names, but certain people have a way of writing that makes it obvious.

I am always surprised when people believe all they have to do is tell someone not to reply to them though!

Andeverybodyknowsthat · 06/08/2026 13:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

WearyAuldWumman · 06/08/2026 13:20

I'd quite like a 'block' button. There was one particular poster who was behaving towards me in quite a bizarre way, I thought.

Now, I simply refuse to reply to any of their posts directed at me.

JudyTeeny · 06/08/2026 13:18

Anarchy99 · 06/08/2026 13:12

If you suspect someone is a troll then report.

You don’t know who has
name changed unless they have a specific ‘tell’ most of the time anyway.

Of course I report trolls.
I also know that normally you can't tell if people have changed their names, but certain people have a way of writing that makes it obvious.

Anarchy99 · 06/08/2026 13:17

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

It’s how it always strikes me!

Andeverybodyknowsthat · 06/08/2026 13:15

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Andeverybodyknowsthat · 06/08/2026 13:14

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

StrawberriesandBrylcream · 06/08/2026 13:13

Theres a difference thought. Where a poster just wants to argue despite a thread moving on the best thing to do is not engage and report to mumsnet if it continues.

In cases where you want to post ridiculous and idiotic opinions unchallenged, then I think you need to accept others responding to that as per the nature of a public forum.

Anarchy99 · 06/08/2026 13:12

JudyTeeny · 06/08/2026 13:09

There is at least one person on here that does this all the time, frequently changing names. I can't think why someone gets their kicks by trying to provoke an argument. She/he stops when confronted. The best thing is to ignore- don't feed the trolls!

If you suspect someone is a troll then report.

You don’t know who has
name changed unless they have a specific ‘tell’ most of the time anyway.

JudyTeeny · 06/08/2026 13:09

There is at least one person on here that does this all the time, frequently changing names. I can't think why someone gets their kicks by trying to provoke an argument. She/he stops when confronted. The best thing is to ignore- don't feed the trolls!

Anarchy99 · 06/08/2026 13:06

If you stop replying to them, then they won’t keep quoting you. Telling someone to not reply to you is rarely going to work. And will just fire up the other person more. Ultimately you can’t dictate who replies to you on a public forum.

XenoBitch · 06/08/2026 13:04

I had someone be particularly nasty to me on some threads. They also kept asking really intrusive questions that had nothing to do with them. I asked them to stop, and they would. They would then carry on on other threads under a new name.
They then made a username that was almost identical to mine.
Fucking weird.

shinybubbIes · 06/08/2026 13:02

Mooselander · 06/08/2026 12:26

YABVU. People have self control, and conversations are two way.

If you’ve said you don’t want to discuss it anymore then you are in control of that - don’t reply. It really is that simple.

Yes- this.

You cannot control what people on a public forum are going to post and to think you can is ridiculous.

If you no longer wish to engage with someone online, then stop engaging with them online. They cant have an argument with themselves, it takes two people to disagree so stop engaging.

Take some personal responsibility for your own behaviour and feelings rather than expecting to dictate what other people should be doing. Otherwise it simply sounds like you just want to have the last word.

WallaceinAnderland · 06/08/2026 13:01

SusanJJ · 06/08/2026 12:55

... a way of getting the last word yourself in other words!

Exactly, with that tiny bit of satisfaction, if you're that petty 😂

EverythingAIIAtOnce · 06/08/2026 12:59

If they are harassing you, ask mnhq to step in. But in this case @ThatJadeLion , I think it was reasonable to ask you to back up your assertion about AK.

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