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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel I cannot do right by this family?

27 replies

floraldesign · 06/08/2026 11:25

I work in a nanny type of position and it worked out well for many years however sometimes there are some issues like the parents wanting a high life.

I am upset this morning about an issue.

The child that I am minding had profound autism and is off school now. So it doesn't matter what I will do today, it's lielt she's going to be having outbursts no matter what.

The kid is still in bed and asleep at 11am and I decided to go into her room to start waking her gently. Otherwise she might not sleep for them tonight.

I just had the father berate me for trying to wake her and tell me to leave her alone.

The thing is the mother will likely berate me over the opposite if I allowed her to sleep on and on.

It doesn't matter what I do it's never right but this couple will likely enjoy working me into the ground for August because their kid is off school.

I am considering not going back when I go home because I can't do right. It's not only this issue. There were other times too.

Like being berated for when their toilets got blocked and blamed me for throwing wipes down the toilet when I never did. There has been other incidents too.

Another time I was encouraging the child to use the toilet but she was rejecting me and refusing the prompt and the father scolded me about that and told me she doesn't understand so stop forcing her. I wasn't forcing her and she does understand so much. But there he was just having a fucking go at my back.

They won't do half of the hours that they expect me to do.

I am now sersiously considering just packing it up.

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 06/08/2026 16:53

You have no way of knowing where he was going or what he was doing and really it’s none of your business.

You need to leave because they treat you badly and don’t honour your contract, because you have too much self respect to let people take advantage of you, because your work is impacting your health. But it’s much easier to invent an affair and take the moral high ground than it is to stand up for yourself. That’s the bit you need to fix.

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 06/08/2026 16:58

That's a leap and to be honest, none of your business. You dont get to judge his morals, unless they aee a safeguarding risk to the child. For whatever reasons, this family is not a good fit for you. How do you know so much about their finances(again, none of your business if they are paying on time) I assume you mean PIP when you mention benefits, which is for the benefit of the recipient. Unless they have told you this again, none of your business and if they havent I'd not employ someone who makes assumptions about my financial circumstances. Honestly, time to part ways

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