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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find rich friend’s problems a yawn

55 replies

Doubleblazed · 06/08/2026 08:00

Friend moaning to me that recent house purchase for 3 million means they can’t afford to renovate for a few years.

All I can think is, well why didn’t buy one for 2.5 and then have funds to renovate? I also struggled not to point out how most people could only dream of spending that much on a house, but don’t want to be sour grapes.

i know that circumstances are all relative. AIBU to struggle to muster empathy for my friend in this situation?

OP posts:
Shittyyear2025 · 06/08/2026 12:23

Ilovemychocolate · 06/08/2026 08:02

A real friend would emphasise no matter what the financial disparity was, surely?
Are you a wee bit jealous?

A real friend? My best friend of over 40 years would have absolutely no problem telling me I'd made my bed by overstretching so much and that I should shit up wingeing. And likewise if she overspent so much on something she couldn't afford to make it better if have no qualms telling her to stop moaning and get some perspective.

Yanbu op.

Didimum · 06/08/2026 12:26

While, by and large, I can see what you're saying and would very likely feel the same, sometimes with this sort of thing I think, well, rich people should be able should be able to just chat shit with their friends as much as any other person.

No, their problems might ever be big, they might always be easily solved, and yes they always have the luxury of choice etc – no one is exempt from feeling sad or worried or annoyed by things. It's just not reality.

But yes – I know I would think the same!

landmarkyear · 06/08/2026 12:36

Your friend seems to have more money than sense. It always amazes me that this sort of thing isn’t planned out in advance before the purchase.
A renovation on a £3m house will cost hundreds of thousands too, most likely. It can’t be done on the cheap as it’ll devalue it.
It’s basic maths

Deadleaves77 · 06/08/2026 12:51

Bearssaidhearegenerallyverywelldressed · 06/08/2026 09:29

But then it's not a friendship really if you can't be honest. I don't get the feeling here that the friend was flaunting, just having a chat. OP is of course entitled to her reaction but I think it's even worse putting it on here where her friend could easily read it.

Show quote history

Moaning that you want more money when you've just bought a 3million house is insane. And also quite stupid because its an easily fixable problem

Moans have to be reasonable, yes we should have honesty in friendships but equally you cant just say everything you want and expect your friends to have no feelings.

Original poster
Doubleblazed · 06/08/2026 13:00

Didimum · 06/08/2026 12:26

While, by and large, I can see what you're saying and would very likely feel the same, sometimes with this sort of thing I think, well, rich people should be able should be able to just chat shit with their friends as much as any other person.

No, their problems might ever be big, they might always be easily solved, and yes they always have the luxury of choice etc – no one is exempt from feeling sad or worried or annoyed by things. It's just not reality.

But yes – I know I would think the same!

Love this reply! Thanks for your realistic perspective!

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