AIBU to feel upset by my parents' views on mental illness

Yabu for using the word triggered incorrectly as I assume you don’t have a mental health condition based on what you wrote.

you mean you were upset by their comments.

ffs

For care in the community to work there actually has to be care in the community.
In Scotland we have a compulsory treatment order which is normally hospital based but it can become community based but for some reason I see more and more people discharged without it becoming community based.

My husband is rather like this. He wants people to snap out of it. Asks questions like, “ What has he/she got to be depressed about? They have a good job, a nice flat, decent partner, what’s their problem? They just want attention.” “Marilyn has been in therapy for three years. Shouldn’t she be okay by now? I mean, the sexual abuse happened when she was ten. Isn’t it past time for her to move on?”

I find his attitude chilling and horrifying.

I worked as a carer for 3 adults with severe mental health issues, 2 of them absolutely were not safe to be around the public but we had to take them out daily as part of their care plan. One of them punched a pregnant care worker in the stomach.
I absolutely think we need the institutions back, not cold, damp Victorian hell holes but modern living spaces for those who will never "be part of a community" as much as we might try.

Yes they do.
Where's our protection. Care in the community dosent work.
Imagine this yesterday your just minding your own business and someone wants to stab you.
What in earth is life all about!

I’m in a similar boat. I have never been able to tell DM about my severe anxiety. She considers herself to be above mental health problems and looks down on people who have them. Ironically, when my dad died, she was in a terrible state and I ended up being her ‘counsellor’ for about a year. The stress of dealing with her grief made me very unwell. I begged her to book herself in for bereavement counselling but she wouldn’t. If I was in that situation again, I would insist.

As others have said, the range of mental health issues is vast, and i think that those who present a danger to society should be removed from it.

This! Some people should not be allowed out in society if they are so unwell. Im not saying they should be locked in a cell but they shouldnt be free to attack innocent people in the street.

The level and range of MH conditions is vast.

Many people will sit and cry by themselves hide their condition and live a sort of half life whilst trying to cope. They are having an awful time but are no real bother to any other living soul but themselves.

Some people are dangerously unwell. Not the majority fortunately but they won’t co operate, take their meds, are in denial and they can be dangerous.

Care in the community is not working for many. My friend actually knew one of the students killed in Nottingham a couple of years ago, not as a friend but as an employee of the University. The killer should absolutely have been in a residential setting, he would not cooperate with his regime. Courts can order people to have their medications injected but they have to be under a community treatment order. That should have have happened at the very least.

Your parents were not talking about everyone with a MH condition. Anyone that uses the term triggered is looking for reasons to be upset.

Yes, the dogs in the street know that the Great Thatcherite Care In The Community (ie close all mental health care facilities) Project never worked, and was a cruel, cheese-paring policy.
Many people living on the street or in other precarious circs should not have to be exposed to this, as they are seriously ill and should be cared for by the state as they used to be. .

There are people who do need to be In residential supervised accommodation (not the same as locked up but still restricted) there are others who are “in the community” but their life is terrible because they don’t get the support they need, are lonely, don’t eat properly etc, who would benefit from supported living (again not locked up but not independent). I’m saying this as someone on the frontline. Residential doesn’t mean large institutions that they can’t leave or separate from communities, instead we need units with a few bedrooms, communal living space, meals provided or kitchen depending on need and supervision as required

Care in the community is not usually care it is typically just mothers being gaslit and manipulated into taking on far more responsibility than is possible for one human being and then shamed for it not working.

Do they know anyone suffering from schizophrenia or psychosis?

Ask them if they do. And ask them why specifically they think they need to be 'locked up'?

Were they talking about the woman in Covent Garden?

Obviously people who commit violence while suffering MH illness do need to be locked up for the safety of others.

Some people who are having psychosis or suicidal or severe anorexic do need to be locked up in order to save their lives and get them treated.

But as you say, the vast majority of people who are mentally unwell are not a danger to themselves or others.

I agree with them, some people should be in institutions to prevent them from hurting the public, not allowed to roam around with knives like the cases we’ve seen in the news over the last few years.

If someone has a serious acute illness they need to be in hospital with all the intensive care they need.

if someone has a cold - they usually are fine to be at home with a lemsip

if someone has a serious acute mental episode they need intensive support in a hospital or residential setting

if someone is stable but has a mental illness they can be helped in the community.

All illnesses need to be treated appropriated and proportionality

The stigma with mental health is that too often all mental illnesses are lumped together and people make sweeping statements about ‘locking them all up’ because they don’t understand the nuance of how mental illness can mean anything from mild anxiety to severe psychosis.

we desperately need people to understand the difference. The stigma around mental health and illness is awful .

Come on OP, you must know there’s a difference between someone with psychosis who is hallucinating being out in society (and potentially dangerous) and someone with depression or PND who is still living a relatively normal life. I’m sure your parents aren’t advocating for the latter to be locked away.

Community mental health services just doesn’t meet the needs of all conditions. Long term residential care needs to be expanded.

We had similar at the bank I worked in a few years ago , London again . A couple were sitting down opening a new savings account when this woman appeared out of nowhere and coshed him around the head with a heavy shopping bag screaming at the top of her voice that he was having an affair and who was this woman he was sitting with . She then got out a photo to show us her ‘ husband ‘ and it was a completely different man , at least 30 yrs older . Her shopping bags contained books . The couple were shocked and startled but what she if this woman had a knife or acid or something it could have been a completely different outcome .

People so detached from reality are dangerous .

We know they are overwhelmed but qualified practitioners are making policies and individual decisions when the person is a clear risk to themselves and others. To deny that and be part of that system is worrying.

I worked in a psychiatric hospital , it closed in the 90s . Some of the people who are now careless in the community were very dangerous when not on their anti psychotic med . I agree that some should be in hospital where they can't hurt others and have to take medication under supervision. I see your parents point .

The care services in this country for people suffering mental illness are terrible and it's putting the general public (as well as the person suffering) at harm and it is time we had serious discussions about institutions/ care facilities were people are locked up for everyone's safety. We have to accept that some people will never be safe to exist in public life

I really hate the phrase 'locked up' when it comes to people with severe mental health issues. Saying that they may need to live in a secure facility, where both they and the public can be protected, is absolutely not the same as suggesting that they should be treated like murderers with no MH issues, but who choose to do something evil.

I'm reminded of the thread from a while back where OP (who helped disabled people access their benefit entitlements) knew a deeply unpleasant man who constantly frothed that disabled people who weren't able to work full-time should be sent to live in workhouses, rather than 'expecting the taxpayer to pay for them'. Sadly, he subsequently had a life-changing accident that left him very disabled and using a wheelchair, and he was straight around to OP's place to ask for her help in claiming the benefits that he was now entitled to.

I don't think he felt any kind of guilt or shame at how nasty he had previously been to others who were in the same position as he now found himself, presumably because he 'wasn't one of THOSE kind of disabled people'.

There is supervision for certain SMI’s, CTOs but these are increasingly removed due to the inability to recall.
Forensic services have resources for intensive monitoring but again this is after an event
The point I am making is the hype/media coverage without context leads to opinion of they all need locking up when the reality is services are overwhelmed and if the public knew how overwhelmed the view may be different.
I would love to put out there what the wait times are for MH beds (even when liable for a sec3), care navigators, therapies and those who disengage and cant be contacted are but it would be too outing.

Yabvu. Why does everyone expect everyone else to agree with thier opinions. Your parents can think whatever they like. My sister has bipolar, I think it would have been better for her kids if she was locked up and received some proper care. Many people with mental illness use drugs and alcohol as coping mechanisms which make their mental health worse. There could be institutions not like those of old but places where people can get proper help without being drugged to sleep. I know people with mental health are more likely to harm themselves but it's always in the news people being stabbed or harmed and it's always 'mental health' why should people be put at risk. Things won't change as there is no money in the pot.

My sibling has serious mental health issues and I would be ok with him being in an institution. He can be very charming and manipulative but is seriously unwell. He has been free to have a string of relationships and I worry about the vulnerable women in his life, most recently he moved in with a woman who has a son. In the meantime he has threatened my parents and they have now moved and changed their contact details. He is not a danger to himself at the moment or an obvious danger to others but he has been sectioned multiple times. He refuses psychiatric care and personally I do believe he will do something terrible one day. It would be best if he was locked away.