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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A.I.B.U to set d.p up for his usual stonewalling behaviour to take my own blinkers off to him?

10 replies

Newbegginings26 · 06/08/2026 01:56

A.I.B.U to disagree with d.p on a very trivial matter and allow him to get very frustrated when i suggest he gives me a rough idea of his activities at weekend and working week, just so i can finally open my eyes to the stonewalling I readily sleepwalk into like clockwork ?

I know this is not a nice thing to do, but I am so used to the behaviour I have forgotten just how sneaky it is and how it goes against who I am and expect us to be. I am a talker an can see other points of view so no need to be arguing at all really-just suits his excuse to sulk then drink on it and the cycle is endless.

OP posts:
CamillaMcCauley · 06/08/2026 01:59

YABU to word an AIBU in such an oblique way.

WallaceinAnderland · 06/08/2026 02:00

What do you mean by 'set him up'?

araiwa · 06/08/2026 02:03

Stop fucking about

Stupid games

SemperIdem · 06/08/2026 02:05

If you know he has a specific pattern of behaviour, that you don’t like or find unacceptable, why is there any need for you to manipulate him in to doing exactly that?

You know he does it, he doesn’t need to do it again for you be “allowed” to leave or whatever it is that is motivating this line of thinking.

Newbegginings26 · 06/08/2026 02:11

Hadn't meant to "fuck about" @araiwa . I mean consciously decide to ask a question - usually I ask absentmindedly. If I focus I see behaviour for what it is... I might change my behaviour accordingly.

OP posts:
AmserGwely · 06/08/2026 02:13

Just leave him, and then you won't have to oput up with his nonsense.

Newbegginings26 · 06/08/2026 02:13

Thanks for your support @SemperIdem .

OP posts:
DysmalRadius · 06/08/2026 02:26

What do you think will be different about this time that will make you see him differently? It sounds like you already know that he is looking for an excuse to generate an argument that justifies him doing whatever he wants - do you feel as though it would be easier to take action to see it playing out according to the 'script' that you've noticed? As in, if you can predict how it will go, then it means he must also be aware that he's behaving like this and that will prove that it's not just your imagination?

midlifeattheoasis · 06/08/2026 19:45

I haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about

FrippEnos · 06/08/2026 19:59

So should you create a situation through abusive means so that you can prove that your "D"H is abusive?

No you shouldn't. YABU

Should you leave?
Yes you should, you already know that you are not happy in the relationship.

Don't mess about.

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