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I get that a&e is busy, but was not expecting to be spoken to so rudely

833 replies

mitsicar · 05/08/2026 23:21

Went to a&e tonight. I have a foreign object stuck in my ear. I did not know it was in there until someone looked last night before I left my house and said i should get it looked at. Wasn't able to go to a&e today as my son had his own medical appointment in another city that I have waited months for and we were in a hotel for last night. There was no way I was cancelling it for my own ailment.

The pain has got significantly worse. Have shooting pains into my jaw and cheek bone and my ear is making clicking noises. This is since about lunch time today. Went to a&e this evening and the triage nurse asked me how long it had been in my ear. I said I suspect a few weeks, but I thought I just had an earache and it went away after a while so thought it was gone. Got some new foam ear plugs last week (which obviously pushed the foreign body in further!) and am now suffering for it. I hadn't finished when she cut me off and said 'well I don't really understand why you have picked this evening to come to a&e' and told me I would be better off going to my GP. I am in some pain but ended up leaving because she just made me feel like I had done an awful thing by heading straight after my son's appointment. I spoke to 111 earlier in the day and they told me to go to a&e asap because I could risk my hearing and that whilst it isn't life threatening, it is both an accident and an emergency. I asked if I could wait until morning and they said no. This was the 111 dr not the triage staff. I have no idea if this is the correct advice.

AIBU to think I didn't do anything wrong? I told her a medical professional has looked at it (a friend of mine who is a dr of 30 years) and said it needs ent because of how far in it is and she actually rolled her eyes at me and said I should see an actual GP (I suspect by that she meant my own GP?) and that a&e were sending everyone to minor injuries and that cases like mine are the reason she now has a 6 hour waiting list.

Is this normal for a&e now? Is it so awful working there that being rude has just become the norm or do most people have a better bedside manner? I haven't been to a&e since I was a child and was really shocked by the way I was spoken to, after being advised to go there by 111 and a trusted friend who is a medical doctor (GP).

To add, she didn't look in my ear.

Would you have done anything different? Am I missing something?

OP posts:
ButterflySkies · 06/08/2026 19:12

I feel you - took my daughter to A&E recently having an asthma attack and was dismissed by triage because her numbers “werent that bad” and she was fidgeting/moving around. By the time her chest was listened to she was on back to back nebulisers within seconds, I’ve never seen medical staff move so quickly, and she was on them for some time. Had I left on the basis of triage it’s not worth thinking about. So just to chime in with some support for you here that yes, triage can be brusque but i think it’s a tactic for the actual time wasters. Not a safe one, mind you! I’m pleased you’re being treated now.

BreezyLurker · 06/08/2026 19:08

If a gp sent you to a&e, then you were in the right place! you couldn’t possibly wait weeks to see ent if it was potentially going to damage your ear drum. I know there are lots of cases that don’t require a&e but if a gp has told you to go there as well as 111 then you were in the right place. I feel some staff that work in a&e (and maternity but that’s another story) are very jaded & don’t even like it anymore because they do get so many time wasters but that doesn’t mean that they can be down right rude! Bat shit some of these comments & the nurse sounded like a rude cunt!

Happysummerrain · 06/08/2026 19:03

I think you should consider how difficult it is to work in a&e. I went there a few times in 2024 with severe abdominal pain. I was swaying in my seat, clutching my abdomen. A person opposite me evidently whispered something about me because the response I overheard was that “she’s in a lot of pain”. Yet, those people appeared to be medically well. So many of the people during my visits seemed okay. One went out for a cigarette. If you’re quite alright it’s often not the right place because it really should be reserved for severe medical cases.

I assume her rudeness is probably years of feeling overwhelmed and frustrated at people attending for minor injuries and ailments. It would drive me insane. Of course it’s not okay to be rude, especially in her role. That’s disappointing. I work for NHS myself and it goes without saying that I’m expected to be polite and professional regardless.

ThreadGuardDog · 06/08/2026 18:57

Kulwinder54 · 06/08/2026 10:23

all these people on mumsnet with their 'rules' about when you can and cannot go to A&E....as if you'd do the same if it were you or your children!

I was thinking the same thing. Sometimes you have to say to hell with accepted procedure and do what you think is right for your family.

StandFirm · 06/08/2026 18:52

The problem with the NHS are the gatekeepers. Some staff in triage are excellent but those who aren't can severely impact care and a patient's prospect. Usually, once you get to see a specialist and get a diagnosis, it's great. The issue seems to be to get to that stage.

Katkins17 · 06/08/2026 18:40

I had this is hospital a few years back.

I was sent straight to A&E with an ear infection by my GP, because of the severity of it.

the nurse I saw said ‘ what on earth are you doing here with just an ear infection?’
baring in mind my ears were bleeding, I was crying with pain and had the first sign of sepsis.

sone people just are not cut out for a caring profession.

Theunamedcat · 06/08/2026 18:35

mitsicar · 06/08/2026 16:03

I was in minor injuries for the hundredth time!

Honestly think people are trolling you at this point

Hope your ear is better soon

KLD89 · 06/08/2026 18:32

ThreadGuardDog · 06/08/2026 18:19

She did take advice from 111. They sent her to A&E who referred her through to minor injuries. Why is this proving so difficult to understand. She rang her own GP this morning, who referred her to A&E. It’s all there.

Edited

This!!! 👏🏻

Holidaymodeon · 06/08/2026 18:32

MrsMcGarry · 06/08/2026 16:50

Can I help by explaining that different areas do things differently - in my area, like the OP's, there is just one queue to be triaged by one nurse practitioner who then sends you to either A&E or Minor injuries.

Yes, that's a stupid way to run a department, but it's really not the patient's fault. The queue is often out the door at our hospital, with people who have been referred by 111, those with really urgent issues in severe pain and those with minor injuries all stood waiting together. I had to go recently after a fall from my bike in the evening which left me with a hugely swollen hand and severe grazing where my leggings had been scraped into my skin. I waited, along with far sicker people, for 2 hours to just get to triage, only to then be sent to minor injuries where in less than an hour I had my leggings soaked off and the wound cleaned and dressed, an x ray that diagnosed a broken thumb and a splint and strapping and referral to specialist hand surgery dept.

I could have waited far longer tbh - I had paracetamol which worked to bring the pain down to a perfectly bearable level and sat and read my book. And they could have put more staff in the actual A&E dept which was rammed. But it's not my responsibility to manage the NHS's processes and patients should never be blamed for turning up at the right place.

Having frontline staff and patients getting pissed off with each other when both are usually doing their best (yes, even the frequent flyers in A&E who don't need to be there often are doing their best to cope with the mental health issues/lack of social care that drives them there) simply means we aren't all directing our ire where it should be - at bad managers in the NHS and govts who have managed health and social care terribly for at least 30 years

Yep. We have either a&e or walk in centre. No minor injuries unit, the walk in centre don’t offer scans or xray and seven times out of ten, send people to a&e. 111 always directs people to a&e unless it’s something simple like emergency prescriptions

ThreadGuardDog · 06/08/2026 18:29

MummyWillow1 · 06/08/2026 17:41

111 should have booked you an Urgent Care appointment not directed you to A&E.

Not all areas have an urgent care centre. We didn’t until a few months ago. And OP’s own GP directed her to A&E this morning.

ThreadGuardDog · 06/08/2026 18:27

Briansgirls · 06/08/2026 17:50

I'm paying for private therapy , the NHS list was over two years , I'd be dead before I even got to the front of that queue.

And yet in that two years I’ve received a cancer diagnosis via a routine mammogram, had surgery and adjuvant treatment and been declared cancer free. Excellent and timely treatment throughout and supported all the way, including aftercare. Problem is you can’t declare the whole NHS unfit for purpose because it isn’t. I don’t profess to know the answers, I can only speak from experience.

Needmorelego · 06/08/2026 18:26

Scapella · 06/08/2026 18:12

@Artemis130 @Needmorelego Do I call 111 first? If there is no minor injury unit then do I need to go to the urgent care unit, even if one doesn’t exist? And what if there is the same queue for both of them? Am I allowed to join it? Or do I need to go to Walthamstow and use the Klinik app? Or maybe I need to go to the GP in three weeks’ time instead. So many questions.

Edited

In that situation.....just go and lay down in a dark room.
😂

Scapella · 06/08/2026 18:23

Artemis130 · 06/08/2026 18:19

@scapella Yes...the non-existence of the urgent care unit is no excuse not to attend it. You are singlehandedly devouring and destroying the NHS.

Edited

Fair enough. I hope some poor overworked nurse or doctor comes to patronise me and send me to the naughty corner.

ThreadGuardDog · 06/08/2026 18:19

GentlePanda · 06/08/2026 16:17

Not and accident or an emergency. You should have phoned 111 and taken advice from them. Probably have been sent to a walk in centre.

She did take advice from 111. They sent her to A&E who referred her through to minor injuries. Why is this proving so difficult to understand. She rang her own GP this morning, who referred her to A&E. It’s all there.

KLD89 · 06/08/2026 18:19

igelkott2026 · 06/08/2026 17:40

Migraine can totally be a A&E thing. My aunt used to have awful migraines and was often at the hospital.

And you can laugh about an ingrown toenail but I had a black toenail from running and I looked it up on Dr Google and it said I should seek medical attention as it could go gangrenous. I just laughed and put a plaster on it but someone else might be genuinely worried!

With regards to an ingrown toenail

An ingrown toenail is not a medical emergency and can be managed at home. However,

When to See a Doctor or GP

  • Home treatments do not help after a few days.
  • Your toe shows clear signs of a growing infection, such as pus or heavy swelling.
  • You have diabetes, because foot infections can become very serious very quickly.
  • Contact your GP surgery or use 111 to find local podiatry or medical help.

When to Seek Urgent Medical Care

  • Redness is spreading rapidly up your foot.
  • You develop a high fever, or you feel hot, shivery, and severely unwell.
  • If you experience these rapid red-flag infection signs, call NHS 111 or seek urgent care promptly
(The person with the toenail wasn’t in the urgent medical care category, because the paramedics and receptionists were discussing it and having a bit of a grumble and moan) and I spoke to them personally because we were sat near one another and discussed what have brought us into A&E that night. They had a pair of sliders on, no infection or pain apart from when they tried to wear any other shoes but open toes. They ended up leaving after about 3hrs and said “I’m just going to get booked in with the GP tomorrow instead of sitting here all night, I could do with my bed”

Also, the migraine lady was told by lots of staff they couldn’t do anything for her. She kept asking them for paracetamol and they told her they couldn’t give her anything to manage her pain, they, exasperated by her 10th request for some paracetamol, addressed the whole room very loudly and reminded everyone there was a 10hr waiting list and it went in order of priority and that some people would probably be better at home managing their symptoms and illness so if people didn’t like the wait, they were free to leave. They then directly told her she wasn’t a priority because they had some very sick people in who would be in front of her, and told her she would realistically be waiting 10yrs and to stop bothering busy working staff with the same requests. She lay across 5 seats with some wet paper towels across her forehead and continued to flag down any and every person in uniform walk past her, asking if she could be seen now.
Not every migraine needs A&E and they obviously felt hers definitely didn’t.
Toe lady and migraine lady did not need A&E, they needed a chemist or a GP.

Artemis130 · 06/08/2026 18:19

@scapella Yes...the non-existence of the urgent care unit is no excuse not to attend it. You are singlehandedly devouring and destroying the NHS.

Dunkerquetodover · 06/08/2026 18:12

Yes this is painful.

Provision of emergency care varies by region. Minor injuries/urgent care units differ in their staffing and what they can treat. Not many areas have 'walk in' ENT clinics like a poster keeps mentioning.

I remain surprised that the GP was unable to refer directly to the on call ENT team though.

Scapella · 06/08/2026 18:12

@Artemis130 @Needmorelego Do I call 111 first? If there is no minor injury unit then do I need to go to the urgent care unit, even if one doesn’t exist? And what if there is the same queue for both of them? Am I allowed to join it? Or do I need to go to Walthamstow and use the Klinik app? Or maybe I need to go to the GP in three weeks’ time instead. So many questions.

Artemis130 · 06/08/2026 18:07

Scapella · 06/08/2026 17:57

More fools who can’t read or understand, have joined the thread. I have given myself a head injury by banging my head against a metaphorical wall. Does anybody know if I should go to A&E?

Nope...minor injuries 😅

pinkypoo8 · 06/08/2026 18:06

Oh dear it doesn't seem like you are very clued up at all on the parlous state of the Nhs...

Needmorelego · 06/08/2026 18:04

Scapella · 06/08/2026 17:57

More fools who can’t read or understand, have joined the thread. I have given myself a head injury by banging my head against a metaphorical wall. Does anybody know if I should go to A&E?

No. Definitely not. Self medicate or speak to a random member of staff (not the pharmacist) at Boots for advice.
😂😂

Scapella · 06/08/2026 17:57

More fools who can’t read or understand, have joined the thread. I have given myself a head injury by banging my head against a metaphorical wall. Does anybody know if I should go to A&E?

Briansgirls · 06/08/2026 17:50

KTheGrey · 06/08/2026 12:07

I am sorry - that is so grim. Hope you are doing better now.

I'm paying for private therapy , the NHS list was over two years , I'd be dead before I even got to the front of that queue.

Needmorelego · 06/08/2026 17:48

Anarchy99 · 06/08/2026 17:42

Kindly, she was kind of right though. If it had been there a while, it could have waited until you saw a GP.

Except it's been established that her GP wouldn't have been able to remove it.
So it would have been pointless her going there.

Needmorelego · 06/08/2026 17:47

MummyWillow1 · 06/08/2026 17:41

111 should have booked you an Urgent Care appointment not directed you to A&E.

She was directed to Minor Injuries which is what some hospitals call Urgent Care.
At her hospital you have to go via A+E first.
111 direct you to your nearest hospital. If that hospital doesn't have a department called Urgent Care they can't exactly send someone there can they?

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