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I get that a&e is busy, but was not expecting to be spoken to so rudely

833 replies

mitsicar · 05/08/2026 23:21

Went to a&e tonight. I have a foreign object stuck in my ear. I did not know it was in there until someone looked last night before I left my house and said i should get it looked at. Wasn't able to go to a&e today as my son had his own medical appointment in another city that I have waited months for and we were in a hotel for last night. There was no way I was cancelling it for my own ailment.

The pain has got significantly worse. Have shooting pains into my jaw and cheek bone and my ear is making clicking noises. This is since about lunch time today. Went to a&e this evening and the triage nurse asked me how long it had been in my ear. I said I suspect a few weeks, but I thought I just had an earache and it went away after a while so thought it was gone. Got some new foam ear plugs last week (which obviously pushed the foreign body in further!) and am now suffering for it. I hadn't finished when she cut me off and said 'well I don't really understand why you have picked this evening to come to a&e' and told me I would be better off going to my GP. I am in some pain but ended up leaving because she just made me feel like I had done an awful thing by heading straight after my son's appointment. I spoke to 111 earlier in the day and they told me to go to a&e asap because I could risk my hearing and that whilst it isn't life threatening, it is both an accident and an emergency. I asked if I could wait until morning and they said no. This was the 111 dr not the triage staff. I have no idea if this is the correct advice.

AIBU to think I didn't do anything wrong? I told her a medical professional has looked at it (a friend of mine who is a dr of 30 years) and said it needs ent because of how far in it is and she actually rolled her eyes at me and said I should see an actual GP (I suspect by that she meant my own GP?) and that a&e were sending everyone to minor injuries and that cases like mine are the reason she now has a 6 hour waiting list.

Is this normal for a&e now? Is it so awful working there that being rude has just become the norm or do most people have a better bedside manner? I haven't been to a&e since I was a child and was really shocked by the way I was spoken to, after being advised to go there by 111 and a trusted friend who is a medical doctor (GP).

To add, she didn't look in my ear.

Would you have done anything different? Am I missing something?

OP posts:
JustAnotherThoughtfulThursday · 06/08/2026 08:02

My daughter and I had a recent experience at A&E and I can understand their frustration, tbh.

My daughter had a minor injury at work a few weeks ago. She was treated by first aid and told to call 111 for advice.

111 instructed her to go to the local Urgent Treatment Centre where I was expecting her to need blood tests, a Hep B vaccination and antibiotics due to the nature of the injury and none of which seemed beyond a UTC.

I went with her. We saw the doctor there who was impatient and heavily criticised the incompetence of 111; admitted he could take blood, administer a hep B vaccination and prescribe antibiotics; but then refused to treat her and sent us to A&E instead and said injuries of that nature should always be an A&E visit.

So we went to A&E which was far busier than I'd expected on a weekday afternoon, tbh - it was packed.

She was triaged on arrival by two nurses at the first desk and directed to the Minor Injuries part of A&E. She first saw a nurse there, who was very abrupt and a bit rude about the fact we were at A&E and hadn't gone to UTC because it could have been treated there.

So we explained what had happened and she then heavily criticised the UTC doctor to my daughter and said he'd have been able to treat it perfectly well and moaned that this is why A&E had such long waiting times because they had so many people sent on to them who could have been treated elsewhere.

The doctor who finally saw her was lovely but did say the whole thing was a shambles. People can't get GP appointments, call 111, get automatically referred to UTC, where the doctors don't want to deal with stuff and refer patients on to A&E who have nowhere else to send people on to and so people end up waiting for hours. He said there was no reason the UTC doctor couldn't have treated her and we'd spent 4+ hours in A&E completely unnecessarily.

Basically, my recent experience (and first A&E experience in around 10 years) suggests to me that the whole system is completely overwhelmed and, whilst there isn't any excuse for rudeness (or criticising colleagues to patients, tbh!) I can well understand the frustrations when someone presents who an individual professional thinks could have been treated elsewhere.

Having to explain to each person why we were there and not somewhere else was uncomfortable. Feeling like an inconvenience was uncomfortable but I'm not sure why OP left though because the issue is now unresolved and shes now back at square one.

Lexibletheflexible · 06/08/2026 08:02

W333ds · 06/08/2026 07:59

Lucky you. It’s not the same everywhere.We have had to go many times for a condition my daughter has which most definitely were emergencies, we often had to wait several hours. Once her cannula was fitted during the wait prior to being seen because it was obvious she’d need to be admitted.

Yeah we have a person who cannulates everyone in a+e who might need one..that is standard and saves time.. even if you have a packed waiting room, if your observations warrant it at triage, your care will be escalated more quickly. Those waiting 6 hrs didn't have deranged observations at triage hence why they are still there. Anyone who does is seen more quickly.

lazyarse123 · 06/08/2026 08:01

Lexibletheflexible · 06/08/2026 07:56

If you can decide nah I won't go now as I have something else to do, then you aren't an emergency case.

Did you read what the something else was? Or is it easier to just be a bitch?

Scapella · 06/08/2026 08:01

amijustnaive · 06/08/2026 07:22

Pals because she was appropriately triaged and called out for her absolutely ridiculous misuse of a&e?

As an experienced doctor, I can tell you that she did nothing wrong here. Nothing. And she did not deserve rude treatment. She needed appropriate help and was failed.

W333ds · 06/08/2026 08:01

amijustnaive · 06/08/2026 07:57

Read her post. She went to a&e. Largely because she wanted the drama, I suspect.

Read the whole thread. Like most A&Es,MIU is triaged at the same desk.

TheGoldenOwl · 06/08/2026 08:01

amijustnaive · 06/08/2026 07:36

No. She did not.

This is why people are waiting hours for corridor care. Because of people like you.

No, people are left in corridors because of too few hospital beds, staff shortages, delayed discharge because of shortages in social care and community services, rising demand from an ageing and sicker population, asset stripping, staffing and attrition problems, increasing numbers of patients with multiple long-term conditions, seasonal surges, underinvestment in NHS infrastructure and estate, increasing ambulance arrivals causing emergency department congestion, delays in diagnostic tests and specialist reviews....

BlackRowan · 06/08/2026 08:00

WaitingForMojo · 06/08/2026 07:53

Hot clinic means rapid access. It’s a widely used term.

i live in London and the only rapid clinics access that I’m aware of are minor injuries units in A&E which is exactly where the OP was

W333ds · 06/08/2026 07:59

Lexibletheflexible · 06/08/2026 07:55

I live in the middle of London and have NEVER waited 6hrs to be seen in a+e because I'd always be triaged to be seen much sooner regardless of how many people are there.

That's because I'm there for an emergency.

Lucky you. It’s not the same everywhere.We have had to go many times for a condition my daughter has which most definitely were emergencies, we often had to wait several hours. Once her cannula was fitted during the wait prior to being seen because it was obvious she’d need to be admitted.

Lexibletheflexible · 06/08/2026 07:59

lazyarse123 · 06/08/2026 07:58

Which part of op being advised by 111 to go to a and e passed you by?
It doesn't have to a literal accident or emergency just something that cannot be dealt with by a GP.

111 do that for everything. It's on their flowchart.

Natsku · 06/08/2026 07:59

amijustnaive · 06/08/2026 07:31

Weird. The first line of her post states she went to a&e.

Was that the only part of the post you read?

Sartre · 06/08/2026 07:59

DeerOhDear · 06/08/2026 07:53

Empathy burnout as said by a Dr up thread is a good description ..

Op unfortunaly I've been a and e and urgent care a few times this summer and I'm.appallad
I've also been spoken to so rudely and not had the care I expect.

Unfortunaly unless you have been recently ,crammed into small airless spaces in extreme heat , people being sick ,coughing all over you ,body fluids left for ages on chairs and floors and left on hard uncomfortable chairs for 6 hours plus in what feels like a torture session it's hard to comprehend just how bad it's become .

We need better it's not anyway good enough.

Yep A&E is grim, I’ve walked through my local one to get to the children’s part with DC and had to step over pissheads laying on the floor in pools of vomit. There’s always police officers there. It’s like a third world country in truth.

Also always seems to take hours for a simple ailment. I actually learnt how to pop my son’s pulled elbow back into place to avoid going. We have private healthcare which is also useless, I’m not actually sure what it’s for - it doesn’t provide emergency care for example. I’d love to have used that instead.

When the NHS is good it’s great but when it’s bad…

lazyarse123 · 06/08/2026 07:58

ThisOneLife · 05/08/2026 23:29

The clue is in the name
“Accident and Emergency”.

You haven’t had an accident.
Its been there for weeks, as you admit yourself.

This is a GP matter

Which part of op being advised by 111 to go to a and e passed you by?
It doesn't have to a literal accident or emergency just something that cannot be dealt with by a GP.

Lexibletheflexible · 06/08/2026 07:58

Portmore · 06/08/2026 07:55

That's not something a GP would do. They don't have the training or equipment to do it. They would advise Emergency department or possibly minor injuries (if there's a separate one in the area)

Most Emergency departments have minor injuries as part of the department rather than at a separate location.

It's not been called 'Accident & emergency' for many years.

GPs can refer to emergency clinics without going through a+e. My GP would never say go to A+E unless they were calling you an ambulance to the surgery. They'd just refer you to the correct department and you'll be seen that day if necessary.

amijustnaive · 06/08/2026 07:57

sittingonabeach · 06/08/2026 07:57

She was at Minor Injuries

Read her post. She went to a&e. Largely because she wanted the drama, I suspect.

sittingonabeach · 06/08/2026 07:57

Sassylovesbooks · 06/08/2026 07:51

My son put something inside his ear at preschool when he was 3 years old. I took him to the GP, who looked inside his ear, confirmed there was indeed something stuck and sent us straight to A&E.

It was the fact you told her that a 'friend who's a medical professional looked inside your ear'. At that point the nurse stopped listening, because you hadn't been to YOUR GP to make that confirmation.

It was rather unprofessional to be honest. I suspect that they do see people who've had a medical professional friend do XYZ, and have been wrong, so it's made her skeptical.

I'd imagine it would be more of a Minor Injuries Unit issue than A&E. I would go to your GP, and get it confirmed and you referred to whichever (A&E/MIU) your GP thinks is best. My local MIU need a referral from either the NHS online or a GP, before they will see you. Yours though could be different.

She was at Minor Injuries

Lexibletheflexible · 06/08/2026 07:56

Sereine · 06/08/2026 07:55

Something which has the potential to cause permanent damage to your hearing and/or other functions of the ear is an emergency.

If you can decide nah I won't go now as I have something else to do, then you aren't an emergency case.

pucelleauxblanchesmains · 06/08/2026 07:55

TheGoldenOwl · 06/08/2026 06:56

Play on their hierarchy.

"She was sent here by her doctor. You think a doctor is wrong? That is concerning. Can you put this in writing so that I can take it back to the surgery. You're sure the doctor is wrong? If that is the case I will make a complaint to the GP surgery saying the nurse said the doctor there was wrong."

Then watch then go "uuhhh no errr no no of course not uhhhh"

Edited

Unfortunately some nurses are VERY chippy about doctors so that may not go down well.

Lexibletheflexible · 06/08/2026 07:55

DeerOhDear · 06/08/2026 07:53

Empathy burnout as said by a Dr up thread is a good description ..

Op unfortunaly I've been a and e and urgent care a few times this summer and I'm.appallad
I've also been spoken to so rudely and not had the care I expect.

Unfortunaly unless you have been recently ,crammed into small airless spaces in extreme heat , people being sick ,coughing all over you ,body fluids left for ages on chairs and floors and left on hard uncomfortable chairs for 6 hours plus in what feels like a torture session it's hard to comprehend just how bad it's become .

We need better it's not anyway good enough.

I live in the middle of London and have NEVER waited 6hrs to be seen in a+e because I'd always be triaged to be seen much sooner regardless of how many people are there.

That's because I'm there for an emergency.

Sereine · 06/08/2026 07:55

Itsbeenalongtimeincoming · 06/08/2026 01:20

💯. Every call to 111 is told to go to A&E so people feel justified in wasting time there because they were told to.

Its this strange justification by people not understanding that 111 doesnt want to be sued in case of the small percentage of people who actually do need A&E and frankly most people know when it’s an actual emergency and don’t have time to call and speak to a doctor.

Of course you should go to your GP. It wasn’t an emergency and it has been weeks. YABU.

Something which has the potential to cause permanent damage to your hearing and/or other functions of the ear is an emergency.

Portmore · 06/08/2026 07:55

ThisOneLife · 05/08/2026 23:29

The clue is in the name
“Accident and Emergency”.

You haven’t had an accident.
Its been there for weeks, as you admit yourself.

This is a GP matter

That's not something a GP would do. They don't have the training or equipment to do it. They would advise Emergency department or possibly minor injuries (if there's a separate one in the area)

Most Emergency departments have minor injuries as part of the department rather than at a separate location.

It's not been called 'Accident & emergency' for many years.

Lexibletheflexible · 06/08/2026 07:54

amijustnaive · 06/08/2026 07:52

Nope.

The GP would be able to call the SHO (I know this happens because for some reason my direct dial is confused for the ENT SHO all the time!), who would then be able to organise for the patient to attend the hospital.

OP wanted the drama of being sat in a&e, that’s it.

In any event you can go for weeks with a foreign body in your ear. The most common course of action if it can’t be removed while awake is to issue safety netting advice and wait 6-8 weeks for a surgery date to become available.

I think you misread. I said not to go to a+e and that my local hospital would say as much. I then said you would be followed with another letter from your GP stating appropriate reasons to attend A+E.

Please read (my) posts as carefully as you can if you're going to respond to them.

DeerOhDear · 06/08/2026 07:54
  • and the whole shouldn't have been sent there by 111 makes me want to scream
DeerOhDear · 06/08/2026 07:53

Empathy burnout as said by a Dr up thread is a good description ..

Op unfortunaly I've been a and e and urgent care a few times this summer and I'm.appallad
I've also been spoken to so rudely and not had the care I expect.

Unfortunaly unless you have been recently ,crammed into small airless spaces in extreme heat , people being sick ,coughing all over you ,body fluids left for ages on chairs and floors and left on hard uncomfortable chairs for 6 hours plus in what feels like a torture session it's hard to comprehend just how bad it's become .

We need better it's not anyway good enough.

WaitingForMojo · 06/08/2026 07:53

BlackRowan · 06/08/2026 07:41

What the heck is “hot clinic”?

Hot clinic means rapid access. It’s a widely used term.

amijustnaive · 06/08/2026 07:52

Lexibletheflexible · 06/08/2026 07:47

Yes. We would get a letter in a week or 2 saying appropriate reasons to attend a+e.

Nope.

The GP would be able to call the SHO (I know this happens because for some reason my direct dial is confused for the ENT SHO all the time!), who would then be able to organise for the patient to attend the hospital.

OP wanted the drama of being sat in a&e, that’s it.

In any event you can go for weeks with a foreign body in your ear. The most common course of action if it can’t be removed while awake is to issue safety netting advice and wait 6-8 weeks for a surgery date to become available.