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I get that a&e is busy, but was not expecting to be spoken to so rudely

833 replies

mitsicar · 05/08/2026 23:21

Went to a&e tonight. I have a foreign object stuck in my ear. I did not know it was in there until someone looked last night before I left my house and said i should get it looked at. Wasn't able to go to a&e today as my son had his own medical appointment in another city that I have waited months for and we were in a hotel for last night. There was no way I was cancelling it for my own ailment.

The pain has got significantly worse. Have shooting pains into my jaw and cheek bone and my ear is making clicking noises. This is since about lunch time today. Went to a&e this evening and the triage nurse asked me how long it had been in my ear. I said I suspect a few weeks, but I thought I just had an earache and it went away after a while so thought it was gone. Got some new foam ear plugs last week (which obviously pushed the foreign body in further!) and am now suffering for it. I hadn't finished when she cut me off and said 'well I don't really understand why you have picked this evening to come to a&e' and told me I would be better off going to my GP. I am in some pain but ended up leaving because she just made me feel like I had done an awful thing by heading straight after my son's appointment. I spoke to 111 earlier in the day and they told me to go to a&e asap because I could risk my hearing and that whilst it isn't life threatening, it is both an accident and an emergency. I asked if I could wait until morning and they said no. This was the 111 dr not the triage staff. I have no idea if this is the correct advice.

AIBU to think I didn't do anything wrong? I told her a medical professional has looked at it (a friend of mine who is a dr of 30 years) and said it needs ent because of how far in it is and she actually rolled her eyes at me and said I should see an actual GP (I suspect by that she meant my own GP?) and that a&e were sending everyone to minor injuries and that cases like mine are the reason she now has a 6 hour waiting list.

Is this normal for a&e now? Is it so awful working there that being rude has just become the norm or do most people have a better bedside manner? I haven't been to a&e since I was a child and was really shocked by the way I was spoken to, after being advised to go there by 111 and a trusted friend who is a medical doctor (GP).

To add, she didn't look in my ear.

Would you have done anything different? Am I missing something?

OP posts:
Scamworried · 06/08/2026 11:50

amijustnaive · 06/08/2026 07:32

If it was so bad to need a&e she realistically would’ve attended a&e at the hospital the appointment was at, not waiting and frolicking in a hotel.

Pediatric hospitals have pediatric A and E
Some appointments are not done at hospitals but a clinics without a and e

Scamworried · 06/08/2026 11:48

BlackRowan · 06/08/2026 07:30

god GPs has become ridiculous now. They should be able to remove that but I’m not surprised they wouldn’t. All they do is now send people somewhere else. Thats just pathetic.

The reason GPs don't remove items from deep in the ear is because of the damage it can cause to the ear drum. They are no longer insured to do this type of work. Ear syringing is also no longer allowed to be done by GPs. Too many people were left with damage to the ear and hearing loss.

LizandDerekGoals · 06/08/2026 11:47

LoudTealHare · 06/08/2026 11:06

I have a couple of questions did your friend use an otoscope and speculum to look inside your ear?

Do you have any recollection of sticking something in your ear? Foreign objects don’t just enter unless it’s a bug or similar. Personally it sounds like you have a build up of wax which your GP can easily treat!

I have a couple of questions myself. Actually, just the one. Did you read the thread?

spoiler alert - i ready know the answer.

LizandDerekGoals · 06/08/2026 11:45

Ladywinesalot · 06/08/2026 11:26

The attitude of NHS staff and teachers is appalling.

They are so entitled and how dare they be asked to do anything above bare minimum

anything that is funded by the government through our taxes is always the worst service provided

it’s all a joke

Where was the teacher on this a&e mentioned on this thread?

sittingonabeach · 06/08/2026 11:44

Maisey1991 · 06/08/2026 11:42

Yeah she was a bit abrupt which isn’t okay. but she sounds overworked and pissed off the a&e are sending everyone over to minor injuries. I think her point is that you’ve been in pain for weeks, and now decided to go to a&e, and you could have gone to your GP in the mean time because actually something in your ear isn’t an accident (think fall from a height, car accident, sharps incident, being physically attacked, falling over when pregnant etc) and it’s not a life threatening emergency (think heart attack, DVT, stroke, possible aneurysm). Just go to your GP asap.

GP sent her to A&E

Maisey1991 · 06/08/2026 11:42

Yeah she was a bit abrupt which isn’t okay. but she sounds overworked and pissed off the a&e are sending everyone over to minor injuries. I think her point is that you’ve been in pain for weeks, and now decided to go to a&e, and you could have gone to your GP in the mean time because actually something in your ear isn’t an accident (think fall from a height, car accident, sharps incident, being physically attacked, falling over when pregnant etc) and it’s not a life threatening emergency (think heart attack, DVT, stroke, possible aneurysm). Just go to your GP asap.

Scamworried · 06/08/2026 11:36

amijustnaive · 06/08/2026 07:21

No but there should be. The clue is in the name. It’s for the most urgent medical care needs. If you can delay in order to go and galivant in a hotel, then you don’t really need A&E do you?

Don't be a idiot. If her child had missed an appointment that could have had huge impact on the child and be seen as neglect. Most parents would delay medical care to prioritize their child's medical needs.
It's hardly galavanting taking a child to a medical appointment at a distance that requires an overnight stay.

Sometimes people wait to see if things improve so as not to waste medical professionals time. Waiting and then going when you realize you do need medical attention does not make the visit not urgent.
In many ways she left it until it was more urgent shown as pain in the jaw for example means it has become urgent

rrrrrreatt · 06/08/2026 11:33

I don’t know why people are so outraged about you attending minor injuries, the nurse gave you the wrong advice.

I have t-tubes fitted in my ear drums and they often get stuck in my ear canal when they fall out. The wait time for ENT is insane in my area, even when you’re already under them and have a foreign body causing ear infections, but my GP can’t do anything but prescribe antibiotics. Removing anything from your ear a very delicate task and they don’t have the right equipment at most surgeries.

I hope you feel better soon.

Campervanadventures · 06/08/2026 11:26

Ladywinesalot · 06/08/2026 11:23

I’m gobsmaked reading posters attitudes on this thread on how the nhs should be used!!

the NHS is funded by us taxpayers and we should use it when we need it!

where are we told what service should be used for what??

cant even get a GP appointment for weeks! Then it’s a call back at thier convenience so you should have the whole day free so you can talk to a GP that couldn’t care less.

The NHS is a joke…

This is true. All of it.

Ladywinesalot · 06/08/2026 11:26

The attitude of NHS staff and teachers is appalling.

They are so entitled and how dare they be asked to do anything above bare minimum

anything that is funded by the government through our taxes is always the worst service provided

it’s all a joke

Ladywinesalot · 06/08/2026 11:23

I’m gobsmaked reading posters attitudes on this thread on how the nhs should be used!!

the NHS is funded by us taxpayers and we should use it when we need it!

where are we told what service should be used for what??

cant even get a GP appointment for weeks! Then it’s a call back at thier convenience so you should have the whole day free so you can talk to a GP that couldn’t care less.

The NHS is a joke…

Campervanadventures · 06/08/2026 11:23

roshi42 · 06/08/2026 05:18

I’ve been to the GP maybe 5 times over the past few years and have been sent to A&E every time. I don’t know what the GP actually does anymore tbh. Everything just gets sent straight to A&E and you wait for 4 hours feeling guilty for being there

4 hours? Wow they are quick at your A&E. Last time I was there it was over 12 hours. I no longer have regard or respect for medical staff. That was eroded during my many times in A&E with my mum in her eighties. They (most of them) have no compassion. Nursing ceased to be a vocation decades ago.

Jollyhockeystickss · 06/08/2026 11:22

What she meant was that you would have an 8 hour wait, i would have waited or gone when it was less busy ie maybe 6am

ApplePieCinamon · 06/08/2026 11:20

This is why I’m SO grateful for private medical. Have had babies, so many different procedures, autoimmune disease treatment, paediatric and the list is endless and NEVER would you have been spoken to like this. The treatment from any staff is so vastly different. Imagine being in pain or needing medical treatment and given bad attitude at that point!

sittingonabeach · 06/08/2026 11:20

LoudTealHare · 06/08/2026 11:06

I have a couple of questions did your friend use an otoscope and speculum to look inside your ear?

Do you have any recollection of sticking something in your ear? Foreign objects don’t just enter unless it’s a bug or similar. Personally it sounds like you have a build up of wax which your GP can easily treat!

Maybe read the rest of OP’s posts

Ladywinesalot · 06/08/2026 11:19

user1492757084 · 06/08/2026 05:02

If that were my ear I would have had a prompt visit to my GP who would refer me to see an ENT specialist asap if they could not remove the object. If ear injured maybe either one if those two might put me on antibiotics.
I am a non medical person.

Edited

Did you Chatgpt that as ‘non medical person’?

op i wold be the same as you
rudeness from the nurse

no one knows these days when you can or can’t call GP or go A&E

what is the point of the nhs anymore?

Duckyfondant · 06/08/2026 11:19

Ilovewatchingthedrama · 06/08/2026 11:16

I personally wouldn’t have considered that an accident nor an emergency but if that is what your GP have advised I would have sat it out. Our surgery would have made a nurse appointment first and tried before referring on to ENT

Edited

Emergency departments often triage for minor injuries and out of hours GPs

Bubugameshot · 06/08/2026 11:19

LoudTealHare · 06/08/2026 11:06

I have a couple of questions did your friend use an otoscope and speculum to look inside your ear?

Do you have any recollection of sticking something in your ear? Foreign objects don’t just enter unless it’s a bug or similar. Personally it sounds like you have a build up of wax which your GP can easily treat!

🫣🫩🫩🫩

Duckyfondant · 06/08/2026 11:18

Our local minor injuries staff are always rude in a 'why the f are you here?!' way, it's a bit of a local joke. I assume it's some sick NHS tactic to reduce demand

Ilovewatchingthedrama · 06/08/2026 11:16

I personally wouldn’t have considered that an accident nor an emergency but if that is what your GP have advised I would have sat it out. Our surgery would have made a nurse appointment first and tried before referring on to ENT

LoudTealHare · 06/08/2026 11:06

mitsicar · 05/08/2026 23:21

Went to a&e tonight. I have a foreign object stuck in my ear. I did not know it was in there until someone looked last night before I left my house and said i should get it looked at. Wasn't able to go to a&e today as my son had his own medical appointment in another city that I have waited months for and we were in a hotel for last night. There was no way I was cancelling it for my own ailment.

The pain has got significantly worse. Have shooting pains into my jaw and cheek bone and my ear is making clicking noises. This is since about lunch time today. Went to a&e this evening and the triage nurse asked me how long it had been in my ear. I said I suspect a few weeks, but I thought I just had an earache and it went away after a while so thought it was gone. Got some new foam ear plugs last week (which obviously pushed the foreign body in further!) and am now suffering for it. I hadn't finished when she cut me off and said 'well I don't really understand why you have picked this evening to come to a&e' and told me I would be better off going to my GP. I am in some pain but ended up leaving because she just made me feel like I had done an awful thing by heading straight after my son's appointment. I spoke to 111 earlier in the day and they told me to go to a&e asap because I could risk my hearing and that whilst it isn't life threatening, it is both an accident and an emergency. I asked if I could wait until morning and they said no. This was the 111 dr not the triage staff. I have no idea if this is the correct advice.

AIBU to think I didn't do anything wrong? I told her a medical professional has looked at it (a friend of mine who is a dr of 30 years) and said it needs ent because of how far in it is and she actually rolled her eyes at me and said I should see an actual GP (I suspect by that she meant my own GP?) and that a&e were sending everyone to minor injuries and that cases like mine are the reason she now has a 6 hour waiting list.

Is this normal for a&e now? Is it so awful working there that being rude has just become the norm or do most people have a better bedside manner? I haven't been to a&e since I was a child and was really shocked by the way I was spoken to, after being advised to go there by 111 and a trusted friend who is a medical doctor (GP).

To add, she didn't look in my ear.

Would you have done anything different? Am I missing something?

I have a couple of questions did your friend use an otoscope and speculum to look inside your ear?

Do you have any recollection of sticking something in your ear? Foreign objects don’t just enter unless it’s a bug or similar. Personally it sounds like you have a build up of wax which your GP can easily treat!

rainbowstardrops · 06/08/2026 11:06

Ignore the posters who haven’t got a clue what they’re on about OP. Hope you get your ear sorted out soon!

PissOffJeffrey · 06/08/2026 11:05

I’m so sorry this happened to you OP, and hope you’ve been treated with more care & respect this morning.

As I suspect you know, you did exactly the right thing going to A&E last night. No GP surgery is equipped to remove a foreign object that far into your ear. It sounds as though you also have an infection now which is probably very painful.

I appreciate A&E and MIU do get rather swamped with issues that should have been seen by a GP, but this is not one of those occasions. And, having worked in healthcare myself for years, there’s absolutely no excuse for speaking to patients in that way.

Happyjoe · 06/08/2026 10:58

mitsicar · 06/08/2026 09:38

If they had helped me last night (yes, I know, I was the one who left) I would not have woken up with blood pooling in my ear and severe pain with significantly reduced hearing. There was no blood yesterday. I should have stayed. My friend is taking me to a&e now. Stepping away as I am just getting more and more stressed. Thanks all.

Flipping heck, nasty stuff OP. Am so sorry you're going through this.
I hope A&E finally help you out and wishing you a speedy recovery. Sending hugs!

bookmarket · 06/08/2026 10:56

It's annoying. Our town got rid of its out of hours walk in / minor injuries medical centre that was in a different location from the hospital. They said out of hours/walk in minor injuries is now at the hospital where A&E is. In yet, they now act like it is an inconvenience if you turn up there - as though you are turning up to A&E with something minor. You can get an appointment with an out of hours GP where the old minor injuries unit was. Which just adds to the confusion,

Towns without an A&E hospital still have walk in minor injuries units!