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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mum’s friend called me to lecture me, shame me and tell me off? And telling me what to do?

103 replies

Meganandbaby · 05/08/2026 19:05

to think my mum’s acquaintance seriously overstepped boundaries?

This woman is not a close friend of my mums. She is someone my mom sees for coffee couple times a year and/or chats to on phone once every 5 months. (or more like she talks for hours while my mum listens and never lets mum get a word in)

I saw this woman maybe 6 times in my life.

This is a family matter. About health/medical decisions/finances. a decision was made.

She overheard this topic from my brother who was on the phone, and twice I saw her asked me questions, have we considered X? and said you know if we made different decision and did X then we’d have X. saying it would be better for us.

As if kindly offering advice/suggestion.

I know I should have told her its private, but I just didn’t say anything/replied something vague like “we have other plans”, “we are not planning to do that” and changed topic. hoping she’ll get the hint I don’t want to discuss this.

(I later found out she bothered other relatives including my mum more often about this too)

plus she’s older, i thought she meant well and I didn’t want to be rude.

One night I saw her she began nodding her head disapprovingly. Then says “nope, nope, nope. You know what, it’s none of my business” and walked out the door. Before I had a chance to say anything.

then, she suddenly calls on video chat out of nowhere and begins telling me off and shaming me, as if i am her 5 year old child.

I honestly felt like a toddler being told off.

using these sentences:

“You refuse to listen to me!” (wtf!)

”why do I waste my time with you, you refuse to listen anyway”

“Look at you, living like this!”

“You like living like this don’t you!”

“I told you already, do this!”

“Your poor mother”!

”I keep telling you and you refuse to listen!”

”have you no shame!”

She then began telling me what I should do with my money/savings.

“I told you already, Get rid of them!” “Move them there”

Pointing finger at me.

I was just so shocked I didn’t say a word, her face freaked me out too. She’s always overly sweet smiling with overtly sweet voice when I see her

but her face and voice was all angry and aggressive.

literally no exaggeration like pic posted.

I froze up and listened to her rant at me for like 5 minutes, then said I have to go. Now I’m just sitting here confused

I know it’s my fault for not telling her it’s private business before, but surely that’s something you don’t call someone who is not even a close friend and tell them what to do and tell them off?

I’m also confused why she’s so invested in this

Mum’s friend called me to lecture me, shame me and tell me off? And telling me what to do?
Mum’s friend called me to lecture me, shame me and tell me off? And telling me what to do?
OP posts:
DeftGoldHedgehog · 07/08/2026 21:54

Try "You know what? Fuck off, Janet"

likelysuspect · 07/08/2026 23:33

Meganandbaby · 07/08/2026 21:51

My mums house. Not literally meet up her, more like seen her. Few times made polite small talk. At my mums house.

four times at my mums house over years, once when I did her a quick favour on video call and once when I was picking my mum up from coffee shop they were having coffee at

Edited

So your mum was there, how come she didnt shut her down there and then?

Meganandbaby · 07/08/2026 23:37

likelysuspect · 07/08/2026 23:33

So your mum was there, how come she didnt shut her down there and then?

Last time I saw her was when she nodded her head and said “nope none of my business” as she was leaving. (We saw each other in corridor)

but my mum was in the garden with other guests when she did this

when she called on video call my mum was not there either

OP posts:
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