Letting newborn cry for a little while - dealing with other children?

No way would I do this. A couple of mins while you're helping the three year old go to the toilet, but I'd still be fast. Ten mins is a very long time for a tiny distressed baby. Mine lived in the carrier and was a summer baby. I just wore a cotton top between us.

Sometimes your baby will cry for a little while youre busy doing something else and of course thats ok. I very much doubt you'd leave her for anything like 10mins before going to her so I'm ignoring that bit!

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby 😊

YABU. You absolutely can and should wear your baby. Leaving them to cry even for a few mins is not acceptable.

I had a clingon baby and I wore her in a sling and it worked really well.

A few minutes is fine. It’s not always safe or practical to get to them right away. For example, if you have a 3 year old in the bath covered in shampoo and the baby wakes from a nap, you cannot leave the toddler. But the baby is safe. So a quick rinse of the toddler and then wrap them up while you get the baby.

A couple of minutes is fine, but I wouldn’t leave a newborn crying for ten minutes except in an emergency. I sympathise as I have a four year old and a new baby who breastfeeds all the time and won’t be put down, but I’ve just had to grin and bear baby wearing/ carrying them everywhere in the heat

I personally used the stretchy wrap almost all day until they were big enough to go in the bouncer and watch the world for a bit. I don't think a few minutes here and there would do any harm but I think you'd get really upset leaving them for 10 minutes.

YANBU. I wouldn't leave her for solid ten mins but in general, sometimes you will have to leave the baby to cry a little and not jump to their every little whimper once you have multiple children. It's not fair on the older children. I never deliberately left mine to cry, but I have four, so in all practicality, the baby couldn't always come first.

I would read Gina Ford and base your thoughts on that. There’s a lot of emphasis on putting them down to sleep which worked well with my two. A good routine means they don’t cry that much because they are fed and have had enough sleep, if they do cry it will indicate reflux which you can sort out separately.

There is no need to keep them in a carrier all day, we aren’t chimpanzees or kangaroos! That is just the weirdest thing that has come in since I had my kids and makes your life much harder than it needs to be. Not a problem if that’s what you want to do but from your post it sounds as if you may not. Generations of us didn’t and our kids are fine!!

This. A couple of minutes is fine if needed. I think ten minutes is too long though.

Mine are 26 and 18 and both cried occasionally when I was in the shower or on the loo. My HV told me it was fine. Neither had been traumatised.

I had twins so it was not a choice for me, I had to sometimes let a newborn cry while I was tending to the other newborn. Very difficult as a new mum.
The bright side was that I discovered that at nap/bed-time sometimes they would cry for 2-3min and then fall asleep, which I would have never learned if I had picked them up like I would instinctively have done.

its something that just needs to happen once You have more than one child.

Those who only have a PFB can’t envisage this. But it’s reality.

Obviously you want to minimise it as much as you can.

I had twins.

sometimes one had to cry while I changed the other one’s nappy or vice versa.

it is how it is.

only mums of one can even aspire to not let a baby cry for two minutes.

She-who-must-not-be-named Ford?!

Didnt she try to sue MN years ago?!

Her methods have been widely discredited for a long time. That said a few minutes here or there wont hurt. There were times when I had to put one of mine in their cot and walk away for a few minutes because frankly it was either that or sling them out of the bloody window. Its hard going from one to two, I had six kids and I would say that going from one to two was the hardest transition out of all of them. You think you know what you are doing as it is your second, but crucially you have never parented a new born and a toddler before, so its all new again!

Go easy on yourself, if leaving the baby for a few minutes to get your head on straight will help then do it. It is the "least worst" option when the alternative could potentially be far more damaging to you and your kids, such as severe PPD (ask me how I know.....).

Take care.

Practically there is no way you can leap to her side every time she cries if you have other chidlren. Mine seem to have made it to adulthood unscathed from being left to cry for a while sometimes.

This is a good example. Couple of minutes is fine.

For the love of God OP do NOT read Gina Ford!!

Babies are not robots, they don't all magically respond to this mythical "routine" and become compliant.

And carrying babies is centuries old and practiced across the world, not some "new trend"!

10 minutes is too long, but a couple of minutes is fine. There's no need to have the baby strapped to you all day. You need time to tend to the toddler, use the loo, have a shower, fix a meal etc. Sometimes you just have to put them down.

YABU

your response us unacceptable

Yes it’s hot but if your baby likes a carrier just suck it up. If it breaks your heart then don’t leave a tiny newborn to cry! Ten minutes is ages. Loads of us have more than one child, you don’t have twins, so keep the baby on you or as close as possible and it’s much less damaging for a baby to cry while being held than while left on their own.

I feel for you Op in some of these responses. Every single person I've come across e.g. health visitor, midwife, GP have all said if your baby is fed cleaned and there's nothing more you can do for them, you definitely should walk away for a few minutes and let yourself breath and come back refreshed. Every single time I've been told this. As it can lead to you feeling how you are feeling overwhelmed mentally struggling. I am currently breastfeeding DS1 and couldn't imagine having a toddler. He's so clingy too and I have to use the sling but I really want to breastfeed as I also can't imagine making a load of bottles and having the stress of cleaning up.

It will get easier OP, but definitely take the few minutes if you feel yourself cracking up. It's the safest option.

It is far more traumatising for babies to have a mentally unstable parent because they’ve stretched themselves so thin trying to serve everyone! The baby will be fine. Not all babies will tolerate slings. Crying in a safe place for a few minutes is better than crying and trying to push themself out of a sling (yes this happened to my second even from a very young baby) while you’re bending down and trying to deal with the older one.

A couple of minutes until you’ve finished an urgent task like wiping the 3YO’s bum or having a shower are fine and to be expected when you have more than 1 kid. 5-10 minutes several times a day to get a break is too much though.

Absolutely fine. In fact it is good for the older one to feel that they're not the only one who has to wait!

With dd2 I had her in a sling (she was an unputdownable baby) as that was easiest to deal with dd1 and not have her cry too much.

With ds, he loved being under his gym so I'd pop him under there when I was doing something like making dinner, and if he started moaning, I'd call through "just wait a moment while I just get dinner on."
Sometimes he'd stop crying before I was there and would either be asleep or playing again. He was a very contented baby when he wasn't ill, and it helped him to be able to settle down by himself, and it helped the girls to know that sometimes they came before baby.
He's an adult now and I can confidently say it did him no harm at all.