Should I report this mum? Is it even reportable?

There are unfortunately a lot of women who put their own wants in front of their children’s needs.

I think these are often the same people who hero worship the likes of Katie Price and don’t see an issue with bringing new blokes in, getting pregnant and producing a baby in a very short time.

I don’t know if it’s selfish, a lack of knowledge or ambition or an excuse to hide behind.

It might not be wise or a good idea, that doesn't mean it's something that can be "reported" to the police or social services.
People are allowed to make their own choices with regard to relationships, who they have to stay over, who they introduce to their children, and when and with whom they get pregnant. We can quietly judge their choices, we can provide advice where we know the person, but "report" them? No. For what?

She IS allowed to have a boyfriend. However, having someone you've only recently met stay in your house with your children is NOT a good idea.
She knows little about him on the basis that they have not known each other long. He could be perfectly fine. He could be a child abuser. On the basis of better to be safe, it's not wise to have him stay.
I'm not sure how else to explain it to you.

This sounds like a good idea, but does the OP even know the full names and addresses of the men involved? It doesn’t sound like they necessarily live with the mother officially so how would she know this info?

If she does have this info, or can find out, then I think the OP should consider doing it.

Maybe a call to the NSPCC/Children’s Social Care if she has actual genuine concerns for the children’s welfare. (This isn’t clear from the information provided, it doesn’t sound as if she even knows them very well.)

I’m not convinced SS will be interested unless you have proof the new boyfriend is violent in some way and could harm the children. Having multiple boyfriends isn’t abuse in itself, though you’re right it will mentally unsettle them.

I can see Sarah's law has been mentioned. I think you can also request a Clare's law disclosure on her behalf. This would at least notify the authorities of the relationship if they are not already aware and then if there is information to disclose it would start a conversation between her and the authorities.

All you need is the persons name and the address they are living in - if there is something to be concerned about then the mother will be notified not the reporter - anyone can start a CSODS (Sarah’s law) request if they are concerned or suspicious

There is nothing you can do if there is no evidence of neglect or abuse. People's love lives are their own business and it might not be ideal but just stay out of it. For all you know, her kids are happy and healthy enough. If you do gather evidence of abuse or neglect, then report that.

Remain as trusted family members.
Show support and secure, safe home by example. Have kids for play date sometimes, them all over for a monthly catch up.
Stay close enough to observe the kids and new men.
Report if you suspect anything.

This is one of the most stupid posts I’ve read on MN.

its not about her being an unmarried mother.. it’s about her moving strangers into her home when she has very young children.

If you can’t see the issue with that @CaptainMyCaptain then I really hope you don’t have kids.

I actually think you have nothing to lose by reporting to Social Services. Yes unlikely they will take action but it can go on record, and you can stop tormenting yourself about whether you need to or not.

It is very worrying OP and I would be extremely concerned too. There are so many cases of the mother or fathers partner being abusive towards the children. Some as we know have resulted in murder. Unfortunately it seems that nothing can actually be done until it's too late. All you can do is stay vigilant. Take a note of any bruises , etc which may be dismissed as clumsiness.

So if everyone understands the safeguarding concerns, they exist and should be reported right? It has nothing to do with having different fathers or even quick new relationships.
A history of domestic abuse, two young children and it does sound like OP is concerned about the woman’s current partner.
At best this partner has no violent history & the mother can be offered some support around healthy relationships. At worst the children are exposed to the inevitable trauma that comes with unstable relationships and dangerous men in and out of their home.
either way having a log of concerns protects the mother and children potentially now and in the future.

We all understand the safeguarding concerns in this situation but OP said the kids seem fine and looked after. Its the mother’s morals that seem to be worrying her.

You can’t report someone just for having children by different fathers, chaotic adult relationships and moving a new man in straight after the last one. The bar for Social Services involvement is I would say perhaps too high but the service is on its knees and they cannot allocate valuable resources until such time as actual concerns arise.

The sad truth is that unless this man is already a convicted abuser abuse can’t be prevented, hence everyone saying all you can do is suggest a Claire’s Law check if DH’s cousin (?) is concerned about her boyfriend, which it doesn’t sound as if she is.

You would never be off the phone to every authority known to man if you lived where I live 😳 I wish I was joking.

Do you not understand the basic safeguarding concerns here?
some of these replies are crazy.

100% report to social services. Trust your instincts.

Obviously this isn’t ideal but I would be very surprised if it reached any kind of threshold for SS involvement. Even if it did I’m not sure what support they can offer. I’m sure the children would be removed and mum clearly doesn’t recognise the dangers.

As pp said, strongly suggest Claire’s Law and the freedom programme. Get as involved with the kids as you can, they need someone to tell if there’s abuse or weird stuff going on. Also studies show that kids who have one or more positive person in their lives, even whilst growing up in chaos, have better outcomes.

Have you ever read a history book? It was common and legal for husbands to abuse wives until VERY recently.

How do you feel about you partner's attitude to all this? He's not coming out of this well either.

What is he supposed to do? Put his manly foot down and tell his sister/cousin/whoever it is that she can't have a boyfriend or can't move her boyfriend in?

Dosent make it right just because it's not against the law.

You could anonymously report to children's services. They will establish (with the police) what the risks are. If they decide not to take actipon, no harm done. For really complex reasons, women who have been in abusive relationships, often go into other unhealthy/abusive relationships. I think it's better to be safe than sorry.

It’s not about informing social services and expecting them to just storm in and take the children.
It’s about sharing concerning information so a picture/timeline can develop from different agencies involved including school/nurseries etc.
and the concerns are legitimate when you have a clearly vulnerable woman who allows men into the house with two young children who can’t advocate for themselves. The fact that so many don’t find this concerning is mind blowing!
also, that concern in and or itself, yes they probably won’t be able to do a lot, but the point is that all these smaller concerns usually add up to a much bigger picture and if no one shares these smaller concerns children remain unsupported and yes eventually it could lead to worsening abuse/neglect.
i personally would never be able to reconcile with myself if I had known something felt off but I chose not to report ‘because it’s not a crime and it’s none of my business’

Report what exactly? To whom? Unless her children are neglected or abused, all she’s done is have very poor judgement. As long as the children are okay, you should mind your own business.