AIBU to resent my husband's generosity to his daughter but not mine?

I don't think you should be paying more than half the billls.

You investment income and salary is your money. If you sold your house you would have the income, but you would have savings .

You need to renegotiate paying a share of the outgoings not paying for all the costs for everyone as If you didn't live there he'd have to pay all of them, bar the extra food and a bit of extra energy.

If you were living together n your house, I know you wouldn't be getting the rent, but presumably using his rules, he would be paying all the bills out of the rent he received for his house and would lose CGt like you , but you could save all you salary as you are mortgage free to treat you girls and you could reclaim.principal.residency tax relief on you house as and when you sell.🏠

Renegotiation needed here to make your finances fairervand more equitable. Take some financial and tax .advice as you won't get CGT principal residence relief you ever need to sell your rented house for the gain made while renting as investment.

No, he isn't. She can leave him and be much worse off, alone, and still unable to buy the wedding dress.

These answers are bonkers.

But why would the OP want to do that when she would be worse off in that scenario? Just to make a point?

If they moved into the OP's house and her DH rented out his house and used the rental income to pay the bills/kept the surplus (like OP does now), then his income would increase and hers would decrease. They would both be living in a smaller house and the OP would have a longer commute.

But hey, at least he would have to pay the bills.

Ugh why wouldn’t he buy your daughter her wedding dress? It’d be such a lovely gesture. The fact he can’t see this says everything. Leave him. He’s mean and stingy

I think people seem very confused about how someone could be paying ‘all the bills’ (which op is clearly not) and not getting ripped off. The dh came into the marriage with more assets but that doesn’t mean he has to make up for op’s dc’s absent father or fund three ridiculous weddings to make it ‘fair’. I think it’s outrageous to be asking parents to fund luxury weddings in 2026 in the first place - so tacky and grasping. Paying for things with your own money usually helps people understand the value of it.

I understand why you would feel he should help out with your DDs dress and wedding but given you are not contributing to his DDs wedding in Italy I can see why he feels that is not his responsibility. If he is as wealthy as you say though it seems quite mean spirited but I often find the richest are often the meanest.

It is wild to me that anybody has voted YANBU.

It all sounds very fair. Presumably if he rented out his place and lived in yours he would be paying the utility bills?
Also, your entitlement on behalf of your adult children is very unreasonable. He is not their parent.

They clearly both have plenty of money.

I think the real issue here is OP has no savings despite having a good income low costs and rental profit. And she feels shit because she hasn't a bean saved to help with her daughters weddings. It's all misdirected

So there's no mortgages to pay and the bills are all covered by the rental income therefore both of your wages/salary/other income is yours to spend as you like. Plus you each have a property to add to your overall wealth.

If he wants to spend his money on his DD that's up to him. You can spend your money on your DC if you like. I don't see why you would think he should be covering your DDs wedding expenses when you are clearly independently fairly well off as well.

Why is a step child in Italy ringing bells for me? A recent thread?

Your children were adults when you got together. Other than being welcoming and accommodating of each other's grown children, it's not reasonable to expect him to take any responsibility for your children.

In life, some people have wealthier parents and get more from them than others. That's how it is in your marriage, with your children. You owe each other's children nothing but friendliness.

What about anything OP said makes you think she is maid and a cook? Because she’s a woman? Stop being ridiculous, she has good deal. Stop trying to get this lady to ruin a good thing.

He pays for much more than she does and she is the one gaining hugely from the arrangement.

Is it that people aren't reading or can't understand it?

I understand it must be hard seeing the comparison between the two weddings, but its just a fact of life that some people have more and some have less.

If your daughter's best friend was getting married at a similar time, would you expect friend's wealthy parents to contribute to your daughter's wedding too? Why do you think your husband should pay for a child who isn't his?

so why can’t you afford to contribute to your daughters wedding?

These two are supposed to be married? It all sounds like a totting up of costs and benefits in a student house share. All very cold blooded and mercenary. Agree OP shouldn't be paying all the bills.

@Alnoo so he rents his out and gets the rent, you rent yours out and get the rent, then you rent somewhere together with all costs 50/50?

Ahhh, except that would mean instead of paying all the bills, you would now be paying half the bills but also half the rent, which I'm guessing would be far more than you pay now?

So seems like you have a good deal and and have already said yourself that you're better off than being on your own.

So YABU.

I imagine it is modest when compared to the weddings of others in her circle of the same socioeconomic status.

But that is asking for more. Sure, it’s in a roundabout way using a heavy amount of emotional blackmail, but it is nonetheless asking for more.

‘I don’t want more…but not having as much makes me unhappy, and don’t you want to make me happy, husband?’.

You are mortgage free, bills covered by rental income. He pays meals out and holidays. You buy 50% of food. Save a lot of your income for your dd wedding, at least her dress. All your money must be going on fun stuff if you have no savings.

I understand why you are disappointed you are unable to contribute to your dds wedding, but you still can if you really want to. Not fair to expect dh to.

She wouldn't be better off though

Currently she lives in a nicer? Bigger? house, and has extra money each month even when paying the bills. If she mover back, she wouldn't have the extra cash after bill paying bills from her salary

I would not call your SD's wedding "fairly modest".

They are having 100 guests, that's not small.
It's a destination wedding, so they will have to pay for all accommodation+meals before and after the main event.
They want vintage wines and cars.
A particular chef.
SD wants a custom dress.

None of those choices read as "fairly modest".

Your DD will look beautiful, and she will have a wonderful wedding day, just different. And hers comes first..

How is he tight? He pays for holidays, for meals, for large expenses. She has a better quality of life with him.
How on earth is he tight?

She doesn't want this though? His house is bigger, closer to work and she has left over money from rental without touching salary. If she moved back in she would be much worse as she would need to pay bills from her salary and no more rental leftover plus transport costs to work. Simple elementary maths!

Oh, not this again! I think he is very tight but there's no reason at all that he should treat an adult step child he has not raised the same as his own child. Any responsibilities towards children of any age are solely the biological parents. Anything given by any other bio or step relative is a generous gesture.