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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Finally moving out after horrific neighbour & to feel as if she has won?

13 replies

happyhouselas · 05/08/2026 13:47

I posted on here before about my awful NDN.

After almost 2 years I am finally moving.

Firstly her ring door bell overlooks my driveway and her I found her so intrusive with her questions and observations.

I would do her bins at times and vice versa and occasionally took her parcels in when required.

I then found out from another neighbour that she had created a neighbourhood Facebook group and had not invited me, so the favours stopped after I was told of the awful things she had said behind my back.

She is quite a nasty woman to be honest, she has this attitude that she is the boss of the estate or something and I have overheard her slagging of many neighbours on many occasions from my bedroom window.
She has a permanent scowl on her face and I dread seeing her to be honest.

A few other neighbours have clocked on to her fake persona and have also distanced themselves from her.

She has made me feel monitored, incomfortable and very unwelcome living here.

She then began playing loud music on her garden at times from noon until night.
Despite myself and others politely asking if she could turn it down the loud music continued until the HA stepped into intervene.

But over the weekend it had started up again.

She then began having her BBQ right next to the my side of the fence ao any time me and DC would be in the garden we would have to go in and close all the windows.

She has also left rubbish in the communal area so which is supposed to be kept clear.

I feel very bitter that we have to move because of her as this is a lovely house in a good area.

I feel as if she has won to be honest and I am really tempted to do things to annoy her in our final weeks here.

I would never do the stuff we have had to endure of her as I have consideration for others.
AIBU to feel this way?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Partingofthewaves · 05/08/2026 20:39

You have won. You’ve made a life changing decision to move.

Dontevenlookatme · 05/08/2026 15:18

She hasn’t won, you have. She could have made it impossible for you to move, but she hasn’t. Well done on getting out, enjoy your new home!

Verv · 05/08/2026 15:13

I get that its frustrating and feels like a lost battle but it isnt. Pastures new and shes still stuck with her miserable life. You never know, perhaps the neighbours who replace you will be her hell on earth.

Gardenisablooming · 05/08/2026 14:49

Have a ton of manure delivered to your garden on your last day. At her fence line ..

theneighboureatmysalad · 05/08/2026 14:38

It doesn't sound much on paper I guess,

but in real life, the constant noise and smoke and smell is horrible. You are not BU to be annoyed, but look forward to see the end of that horror. Hopefully she will get anti-social neighbours and she'll have fun.

Cherrysoup · 05/08/2026 14:31

Let it go! I say that but we moved out of our first flat due to endless music, the neighbour who’d lived there all his married life moved out, Environmental Health and the police were out every week for months due to the extreme noise/aggression/throwing his gf round the flat. I think he was jailed before we moved. This was 25 years ago and we wouldn’t have bought such a great house so quickly were it not for him, so in a way he’s responsible for us being in a great financial position now. Hopefully you’ll have a fabulous time now you’re away from her.

LadyIrony · 05/08/2026 14:28

She hasn't won. She'll still be the same horrible person, and you are winning the gift of being away from her and getting to experience peace. I'm sorry you're leaving somewhere you love but you stand a chance of being happier in your new setting.

She may think she's won, but those people never do.

Pabbel · 05/08/2026 14:18

Just let it go, and enjoy your new home .

Candleflakes · 05/08/2026 14:13

Well she has won, you’ve allowed her to.

A lot of it sounds like minor things that you’re being over sensitive to and you’ve let it ruin your experience of living there.

Trumptonagain · 05/08/2026 14:12

People really need to learn that good neighbours are a real blessing.

When we bought our first house, an ex council house in our late 20's we had a lovely elderly neighbour, got on very well. After a few years she moved out and a young couple with DC moved in.
They were nice enough but never really spoke, which was fine.

They then done a house swap with a middle aged couple and at first we got on well, lending them garden tools and helping out, until they found out we'd purchased our house then their behaviour towards us turned to being awful. By then we'd had DC and they'd play music till all hours when home, literally opening their patio doors so it disturbed every moment of our day and the DC had trouble sleeping.
They intended on buying the house and were spending decent money doing it up so cranked the DIY noise up until late evening.

I was living off of my nerves.
We decided to move, had a few offers of interest, then a woman that lived across the road when we first moved there but had since been divorced by her DH as she was a raging alcoholic came to view.
She'd met another alcoholic and as her DH had moved away wanted to get back to the area as it was a nice area to live.

Well, she never bothered me, alway chatty and friendly...what can I say....

We moved out, she moved in.

A few years later while out that way shopping I said to DH let's go see if its changed, turned out our awful new neighbours didn't stay long...I heard karma slapped them hard.

So, hopefully OP you'll find the neighbours you deserve and will be able to live in peace.

Your neighbour on the other hand should have been pleased that you were of the decent type, who knows maybe her karma is coming for her.

happyhouselas · 05/08/2026 14:12

I don't even know what it was to honest, just thick heavy smoke for hours coming all in our garden late afternoons.

OP posts:
FeliciaFancybottom · 05/08/2026 14:08

She then began having her BBQ right next to the my side of the fence ao any time me and DC would be in the garden we would have to go in and close all the windows
Why though? It's just food cooking.
I'm sure it's been awful for you living next to her, but try to look at it as onwards and upwards for you rather than as her winning something. She hasn't got any way to get away from herself!

TY78910 · 05/08/2026 13:51

Feelings are feelings, YANBU for feeling.

However, it’s a nice way to just move on and start a new chapter. Think about a nice new life you can now start. Don’t give her a second thought, she’ll move on to someone else.

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