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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

my bf wants me and the children to move in with him

203 replies

tiredbuttryin5 · 05/08/2026 11:46

my baby is nearly 7 months old now and i got back with his dad a couple of months ago we split during pregnancy because he didn’t care but he does now and he’s very involved he’s a good dad to my older children too better than their actual dads

i posted a lot last year when i was low and i took a long break because of the comments but things seem good right now and i am happy and the happiest ive been in a long time not because of my bf i dont think i think everything’s just fallen into place and my kids are happy and doing well the only thing is im struggling with my sons schoolin but that’s not the pint of my thread

we live in a flat that’s too small i know you’ll all ask why did you have more kids then but that’s not the point either im just saying for context

he has a flat but he’s found a rental house which is 3 beds but also a garden and the biggest tool could potentially be split im not sure if that’s allowed in a rental though

he wants me too move in with him and ive not had the best judgement with past partners my ex eldest childrens dad was abusive and i was homeless with 3 kids including a baby then my other childs dad is gone and never met him or maybe he did once i can’t remember

i just don’t know as this flat is council so im worried about giving it up but then i think about the exciting things like decorating and us having more space

OP posts:
MyIcyHeart · 05/08/2026 11:52

I wouldn't give up a council flat - assured tenancy? - for the latest 'Baby Daddy', especially when he has only been a constant for a couple of months.

aliasfrog · 05/08/2026 11:49

I would say no
"he didn’t care but he does now" is a huge red flag and feels a very loaded statement, this man doesn't sound decent or right for you.
Build your life for yourself instead.

Also absolutely do NOT give up your council flat.

Can you just spend time at his house but still live separately, then you have the security of your own place if you need it.

jellyfish798 · 05/08/2026 11:49

Do not, under any circumstances, give up your council flat. Believe me, you do not give up that security for the wild west of the rental market.

Prioritise you and the kids. This guy sounds on shaky ground & needs to prove himself after his initial disinterest.
Look after yourself gal & build up your support network a bit. There's good support on this site too x

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