Anyone end up regretting being 1 & done?

I wanted more, but now child is 5 I think I’ve accepted that I couldn’t do it again. Now the early years are done and I can just do activities with 5 year old and not have to consider the logistics of what to do with a younger child as well.

God no, my only is 18 and about to go to uni. Wouldn't have it any other way 😁

I only had one, my only regret is not having more grown up children in my life, e.g sitting round the Xmas dinner table but absolutely no regrets about not bringing up more than one. Hope that makes some vague sense!

Nope I was one and done, always had a house full of kids when he was little and he was never a lonely child. I even got sterilised when he was 4 as I was determined I didn’t want anymore.
He’s now 30 we’re so close I know if I had another I’d struggle to share my love with another child if that makes sense.
i think you and your DH need to sit down and work as a team when it comes to discipline as you’re making a rod for your back and doing yourself no favours

So far I don’t regret it! I don’t think I have capacity for two, I find the mental load and lack of personal space quite overwhelming at times, and that’s with an excellent partner who is a fabulous dad and amazing round the house.

Son is starting school in September and I’m excited about the next phase, ready to move on from the nursery years and very glad that we’re not going to have to navigate nursery for a younger one alongside school.

Son has yet to display any interest in having a sibling despite most of his friends having a baby brother or sister in last couple of years.

Nope me and fellow one and done mums are all
happy with our decision.
Sorry your having a tough time right now.

I still look at newborns and long for another and I’ve already had more then one so I’m not sure that feeling really passes. Newborns and babies are just so cute! However I had 2 very close together (16 months apart) because I wanted my first to have a sibling and had this idea that they would be great friends….
They hate each other, have nothing in common and their bickering and squabbling meant we had to do a loft extension because they couldn’t share a room……
In your shoes, given that your DH doesn’t help I would hesitate to have another, my DH had always been really hands on and our 3 have given us moments where we’ve disliked each other 🥴😂

No regrets. I knew fairly quickly that 1 was my number, and I'm happy I stopped there.

No. I didn’t have a choice as my marriage imploded when DD was 3 and I was in my 40s by then but never had any regrets or wistfulness about what could have been and I probably wouldn’t have had another if I could. I love having one, I have a great relationship with her and have been able to give her more than if I had had multiple children.

Also as a single parent it would have completely derailed my finances if I had had more.

I was ambivalent but DD 19 was and still is, an absolute joy and you don’t win the lottery twice! I’d think I’d regret having two more than I could regret stopping at one.

Yes I regretted it but the choice was largely taken out of my hands until a surprise baby after a 14 yr age gap.

I would have absolutely regretted having 2 if my husband was useless though and probably would have grown to resent him for it.

I feel a slight pang every other year or so that we had one. But seeing how NOT close so many adult siiblings are plus seeing how people end up alone anyway means that I have come to terms with it.

Mine is 20, never regretted it for a second. I found having one child much easier than any of my friends with 2!

Where your child is at is a phase, it’s hard, but it generally passes.
My bigger worry would be the lack of unity in your marriage

I always wanted multiple. I was a single mother with my first until I met my husband when DS was 5. I loved the baby and toddler years with him, those were some of the best of my life.

I think when you are a single parent you just get on with it - there's no waste of space dude not pulling his weight, you know you do all the night waking etc and for it is somehow more manageable than wondering if you will get any help.

Husband came with DSS - 2 years older - and they very quickly became close siblings still are in their mid 20s. Then we had DD. That was lovely in many ways but when you have multiple kids you're dealing with arguments, crowd control etc It can be a bit us and them - parents v kids.

For the past few years it has just been DH, DD & me and having just one child at home is so easy. As a three, we are an Us, same as DS & I were.

So - swings and roundabouts. I am so glad I have all three of my kids but just one at home is much more peaceful.

I am grateful nearly every day that I only have one. Especially when I see friends and family juggling more than one. My kids not particularly challenging either. I just don't feel I have any spare capacity and another child would mean worse parenting for 2 kids vs better parenting for 1 kid.

Never regretted it. Dd is 15 now and we have a fab life as a family of 4 (dog included). Always thought I’d have 3, but after ivf with my first I didn’t want to do it again.
having one is very under rated! All my friends with 2+ are significantly more stressed, tired and poorer than me(both time and money).
dd has never wanted a sibling and tells me she is very happy with our family! She’s very sociable with lots of friends. Dh and I have lots of time together as dd is often out or having a sleepover. She also has friends to sleep here and it’s great hearing them have fun!

I always thought I’d have at least two, I’m an only and thought a sibling would be great. However like you I ended up with a traumatic birth and was advised not to do it again.

There were moments I was sad, but actually most of the time I thought how does anyone manage two?

Now my son is 18 and I’m really happy with our decision. We’ve been able to offer him so much more than if we’d had two. The driving lessons, the car, uni etc we are able to help him start out in life. It’s not all monetary either, I don’t think I’d have had the energy 🤣 and certainly not the time to do the same level of running around and time wise given the same opportunities to two children.

Before having one, I always wanted 2.
Pretty much the minute he was born I knew I wouldn't do that again. The next 6 months only reinforced that knowledge.

He's 13 and I've never regretted not having another. I've never looked at a newborn and thought "aw". I looked at my mum friends who started producing more kids and wondered how they could do it.

I'm the middle of 3. Siblings are not all they are cracked up to be.

I would have loved more but my body doesn’t do pregnancy very well so stopped at one. Not regretted it. She’d have made a fabulous big sister but she’s quite happy being an only.

YANBU

I felt the same way for about 14 years then decided i didn’t want to regret not having any more. Had my second when my first was 15 and i was 39!

I always wanted two, then when DD1 was 2.5 things were very hard behaviour wise and I felt that maybe one was more than enough.

However when DD1 turned 6 we had a sudden change of heart and are now so so happy we had a second DD.

However I have a very supportive partner and we are on the same page regarding parenting which changes things significantly. I wouldn’t want to do it again if my partner wasn’t 100% in it with me.

A massive hug 🫂 for you OP 💕
I always thought I'd have at least two kids, until I had one!
My daughter is my joy. She is 3 ½, bright, caring, beautiful, so clever.
But she didn't sleep through the night once until she was 28 months old. Like, not even close.
I don't know if I'd survive that level of sleep deprivation again if I got another poor sleeper.
Also I feel like I have more mental space than I have since she was born. Yes, there are moods and moments, but she is becoming more independent and can tell me what's up and I don't have to have that same constant vigilance that made me feel kind of insane.

I'm actually becoming a fun mum! I say yes more often! I host play dates and I offer to help out the mum's who have a toddler and a baby because I have greater capacity. I give Alice my full attention when we have coffee/babycino dates. I can prioritise her interests and wants, not just her needs.
And when we are having a tough, shitty three-nager day, it's just me and her. I don't have to manage anything or anyone else in that moment and that helps me stay calm(er) than I would if I had multiple noises at once/demands on me.

I might regret being one and done, but I can live with that regret far more easily than having another kid and stretching myself too thin and regretting that.

I have two. I always imagined 3. They're older now and there's no way I would have a third now, but I feel something is missing.
My oldest is autistic and has high needs. Both of them have (different) rare medical conditions which could have been fatal in both cases, and we were lucky in both cases they weren't more severely affected. Both spent a lot of time in hospital as babies
I felt if we had a third we would have to do so with the assumption that they would have a medical condition, autism or both. Even a child with no additional issues - I don't think we could have coped with everything and given every child enough. We felt like we were spread very thinly as it was.

So I know it was the right decision. I have no regrets from that point of view.
But there is a sadness about it too.

Not massively helpful when OP has a 3 year old already... Neither is it answering her original question.