About BF security cameras?

Since he turns them off when you are there, except in order to make sure he doesn't wake you up by ringing you, I see no problem.

(And if my husband rang me when I was asleep and woke me up, or working on something difficult and distracted me, God help him. He knows this and sends a text first asking if it's ok to call; if I don't reply saying "go ahead" he doesn't ring.)

Anyway it's your and his business, not hers. If it bothered you, you could put a green baize cloth over them as if they were a parrot and block them. Decorative conical cloth caps for cameras will be the In Thing next year.

Having them seems fine, it makes sense. But when you are staying and he is going to call I would ask him not to turn on the internal cameras to check, he can message you to see if you are free.

But having them for use when the house is empty is fine.

Our cameras announce that they are recording when they detect motion, so no chance of being accidently recorded without knowing about it. Must admit I wouldnt want to have to be constantly checking for the light

I would want control of when the internal cameras are on or off when he is away, him being able to turn them on whenever he wants I would find almost stalkerish. You could turn them on at night if he wants to check that all is secure, and as a signal that you are working and don't want to be disturbed.

In some ways I would prefer them to be always on so you know you are always 'on camera' in certain areas rather than not knowing when you are or aren't being watched, or constantly checking to see if the lights are on.

I don’t see an issue with it, and if you have visitors round they don’t need to know either 🤷‍♀️

The internal cameras I'd expect one to be in the hallway pointing at the front door and one in the back (kitchen?) pointing at the back door, not looking into your office or the living room.

For the phone calls, you can set your phone so that only certain numbers can call you between set hours, so you could have it quiet during the night and only the relevant family can contact you if an emergency.

I'm totally with your friend. Internal cameras are beyond creepy. He can just text before calling, him turning on the camera is unnecessary. I would avoid going to anyone's house that has internal cameras.

I would send a WhatsApp in that circumstance- you can set your phone up so even when it’s on silent certain numbers can get through. I definitely wouldn’t want someone turning on a camera on me when I was in the living room unexpectedly. The rest sounds fine.

If you were in your own home, he could just whatsapp you asking if you are awake before calling. I do that, works well. If people are asleep, they don't see the message.

I wouldn't enter a house I knew had cameras in it. I become hyper aware of myself and how I'll be perceived and feel on edge all the time.

I have cameras in my house, outside and a couple inside. They're not even hidden and no one ever noticed them 😂

They are supposed to be seen outside, they're a deterrent more than anything. I don't want a video of a burglar, I don't want a burglar!
Professional might notice, but bizarrely, visitor seem completely blind to indoors and outdoors cameras, it's weird.

My ex partner had cameras in my house ( without my knowledge ). This absolutely petrifies me. I understand he says he's checking cameras to see if you're sleeping or working and that seems to be in your best interest but I find it really weird. What's the worst that can happen? You can't answer a call or he wakes you up?

We don't live together

is the main thing here. He has cameras in a property that is empty when he's away. It's not your place, you don't live there. That's why I don't find it weird at all.

If you were moving in together, then yes, it would become intrusive. But for now it makes sense.

For the calls just set boundaries, no calls M-F until after 5pm and no calls at the weekend before 9am or whatever. He shouldn't be turning on a camera to see if he can call you. That's stalking behaviour.

The only bit I find weird is using them to check if he can call you. Surely a text would do.

I wouldn't enter a house I knew had cameras in it. I become hyper aware of myself and how I'll be perceived and feel on edge all the time.

I don't mind it as much in public as I'm already in a situation where I know I'm being looked (just by existing near people). But I need to be able to "switch off" to recharge and I can't do that around people. My brain interprets the camera as someone watching so I'm never alone.

Even if they are off, they can be turned on at any point remotely so it doesn't really matter.

If you are both happy with it then continue on as you are, but I fully understand why your friend thinks it's weird.

Just hang a cloth over the internal ones when you are there. Every time.

Iv got security cameras it wouldn't bother me, since he's away for long periods I can understand why he's got them but a lot of people react very strongly when they see my camera sign or if I say we have them

We turn off all but the entrance cameras if the kids have friends over as it only covers the gate to the front door
We've got one on the entrance, the garden, the conservatory and the dining room mostly to keep an eye on the dogs while we work but also for security as we live in a town centre
We did catch a guy coming over the fence once and another time a delivery service put a parcel over the fence with the dogs and we saved a big vet bill being able to react quickly

He has the internal ones for protection of his property when he is away. Perfectly understandable and he seems to have boundaries in place to respect your privacy.
You have inserted yourself into his space and his home for your comfort. I can't see he has done anything wrong.

We have cameras outside the house .Its the internal ones that are a but weird.

If he travels a lot for extended periods, cameras are not unreasonable at all.
It sounds like he is being respectful.
It is his house.
We have a couple of cameras downstairs as we have a lot of french doors at the back of the house, it is comforting to be able to check outside and inside while away.

I wouldn't live like that, no. I find it creepy and unnecessary. I understand why he had them when he was single and the house was empty - but it's not now. He should remove the internal ones at least.

I require privacy, just to exist, I'm doing nothing "wrong" just going about my day. Why is he checking if you are working before he calls - why doesn't he just call and see if you answer like everyone else?

Not for me, your friend is right. Also, I hope you tell all of your visitors they are potentially being filmed while there. As a visitor, I'd leave.

I personally wouldn't like the internal ones being on when I'm in his home and to use to check before calling is over the top. Just call.