How do people not know they smell?

It literally does. Ten seconds to get clothes off. 90 under hot water. 20 to get out and towel off.

There was a young trainee in my office who stank. It was really sad as they were bright and ambitious. But they were temporarily homeless and sleeping on a friend's sofa. So although they were showering daily, they didn't have the facilities to wash their limited business attire and it was the clothes that really stank. HR had to get involved and they never got offered a permanent position. I often wonder how they are getting on now.

Ah - I was taking the literally 2 minutes to take a shower as being the whole thing. I don't think I could even take my clothes off and put them back on again in two minutes!

Look at people falling over backwards to either try to make you feel judgemental or like you’re exaggerating.

I don’t know OP, I’ve thought the same before. I suspect it’s a combination of lack of smell, getting acclimatised to it, and/or mental health issues.

It can’t just be lack of smell as you’d still think to wash yourself and change clothes daily in this heat, even if you didn’t know you smelt. Plus what’s the odds of two people having no smell.

I wonder if people just get used to their smell and no longer smell it. Sounds gross but similar to when you do a poo. If you sit in the toilet long enough, you no longer smell it.

I get this at work. There are loads of people who just don’t wear deodorant. Mangers aren’t allowed to say anything so I just tell them to move me. I refuse to smell that for 10 hours a day

You're a better person than me. I'd have been gleeful on both accounts!

Well you can literally shower in 2 minutes if you put your mind to it (and aren't doing extra things like removing body hair or washing hair). I do that after going to the gym (get in shower, soap myself all over, wash off). But the act of showering takes rather longer by the time you factor in taking clothes on and off, leaving the shower clean etc. and if you do do the extra things.

I'm happy to be able to bathe/shower every day (and I do) and do laundry as often as I want. However, in periods of poor health, washing and/or getting dressed wasn't an option - I could maybe do one, not both, quite often neither. However, I don't think I was particularly smelly as I was pretty much bed/sofa bound (and not incontinent).

My ex (when we where together) washed just enough not to whiff when we where together

Then he ran off with my best friend and we didn't see him again for 9 years when I happened to bump into him in the street

God almighty,I've never smelt anything like it

Poo,vinegar,stale sweat and bo-the smell was so strong

On a scale of 1-10,he was 20-it was that bad

I watched him walk down our towns city centre (which was so busy people where moving shoulder to shoulder) and as he moved down it,the crowd parted like the story about the sea in the bible

I loaned him a pair of pyjamas and no matter what I washed them in,I couldn't get rid of the smell

He didn't see the point of washing his body as 'soap is a waste of money'/'your body/hair self cleans'(it doesnt),deodorant 'gives you cancer' and 'washing powder is a con'

His new girlfriend smelt lovely but didn't seem to notice his smell (god knows how,she had a nose)

My school bully (who made my life hell at school) popped back up when our ds's went to the same school and became besties

She stank (not as bad as my ex) due to a condition

She ponged of sweat,fish and poo-she was really aware of it and did everything she could to tone it down

You could smell her from down the school corridor

Despite her torture of me at school,nobody deserved this condition but at least she was aware of it and did everything she could to minimise it

I've never understood the it takes two minutes to shower comments - it literally doesn't

I know what you mean OP. In one of the heatwaves recently I was surprised how many colleagues smelt of old sweat and unwashed body smell. I can only think that a lot of people don't wash their bodies properly/frequently and also don't wash tops after a wear/wash clothes properly to get rid of the sweat. Except in the colder months it doesn't create such an issue. I kept gagging at the smell and was sniffing myself to see if it was me! So I don't know why people can't smell it on themselves 🤷‍♀️

It doesn't need an excuse. People can do what they want. Your finding it unpleasant is your problem, that's the truth.

I knew someone at uni who smelled really badly of BO all the time. She had a medical condition where she was sweaty constantly so she smelled. Lovely person but her medical condition and neurodivergence meant she never stopped hugging people and putting her arms around them and leaving BO smells on them. It was really hard to deal with.

I work with someone now whose mental health and hygiene levels are clearly linked. We’re in a public facing role so he often looks really scruffy and unprofessional. He’s been spoken to about it but it only gets sorted when his mental health is better.

It isn't an excuse, it is a reason. I hear that you didn't stop washing when you had depression, but I was talking about other people who report that it has affected them that way.

I hope you are better now, and continue to stay well.

Dh grew up in a house where bathing was optional. They were also very poor, his parents genuinely struggled to put food on the table, so it was possibly to keep the bills down. It was perfectly normal to him to go several days without a bath until he met me. I've obviously insisted on it and he understands now but at first he genuinely didn't know why I was making a fuss about it. I think he honestly just didn't know any different.

I suspect these people are brought up in families like my own. I was taught that cleanliness was washing your face and hands and brushing your teeth once a day and having a bath and washing your hair once a week. My mother taught me that becuase that was what she was used to and I was told what a great concession it was that I had my own bath water and didn't have to share with the rest of the family (my mother was born in 1945). Deoderant was apparently unecessary and an evil ploy of the toiletries manufacturers to get people to spend money. If I hadn't gone to university and lived in a succession of shared houses and observed that most people washed more than that, and if the internet wasn't a thing, I might well have passed down the same habits to my own children.

I doesn't help that there isn't a basic understanding of the minimum necessary washing required. A peruse of MN will reveal some people who like to shower more than once a day and wash clothes very frequently and insist that anyone who doesn't is unhygienic. I never thought I smelt even with my limited childhood washing and I have no idea if I do. On the other hand I find people who use more than light perfume and fabric conditioner overpowering to be around..

I've just read an award-winning book about someone who grew up "poor", in a chaotic home. She was taught how to wash and change her clothes by a wonderful teacher in primary school, and later she realised she had never been taught how to clean her teeth. It's a fabulous book and a powerful illustration about the complexities of poverty.

I have suffered with horrendous depression and attempted to take my own life before.

I was still able to make sure I didn’t stink of BO when I left the house. There’s just no excuse for it. None at all.

Why are things worse since Covid?

My dd doesn’t care about personal hygiene. Not a single shit does she give. If there’s not someone to tell her to wash she won’t. We tried so hard when she was growing up. Some people don’t care and it’s unreasonable of some PPs on here to assume that there aren’t some humans who don’t give a shit.

I couldn’t agree more. My sense of smell, unlike some of my other faculties, has not diminished with age! Nothing I like more than the smell of clean washing, mild fabric softener odours beat the other kind hands down.

At least during Covid, masks blocked rancid breath.

I doubt it

This isn't about me.

Surely you are aware many people DO need real help? That's the point.

Have you really never read, seen or heard anything about mental ill health such as depression? There is lots of information about it. A common sign is people stop taking care of themselves, including washing.

In the old days, when people were quite ignorant about mental health, people didn't understand how it affects people. These days, it's more widely understood.

Did things improve smell wise, or did she just avoid you afterwards?

People simply get used to their own smell and no one tells them out of politeness. Go on any discussion about washing and there are always people who say "I dont need to wash daily as I dont smell" - you do, you just dont notice.