How do people not know they smell?

My mother has a personality disorder

She has always ponged but nobody wanted to tell her as she'd kick off and make that person's life a misery (some of the stunts I've seen her do have to be seen to be believed)

I did tell her once and she snapped back that 'I'm allergic to all soaps,shampoos and shower gels'

Shed have a shower but not use any products,just a splash of water

She then started re-using her san-pro by washing,drying and re-using them (leaving them on the radiator for all to see)

Then she decided that washing powder was unnecessary (she refuses to use fabric conditioner) and anything above 20 degrees was 'unnecessary'

After all this,she started re-using her bladder pads (nothing wrong with her bladder-it was just on her list of made up medical issues)

As I went nc,I'm told she started pissing herself while sat in her armchair (only that chair) and she's been through at least 7 in the last 15 years-the whole house started reeking of piss (she also started doing the same in her bed with a waterproof sheet)

She knows full well she stinks,she loves it as it makes people step back and wrinkle their noses and she can turn on the tears and get sympathy for her non issues

My darling mil has genuine bladder issues and I've never once smelt wee on her as she showers/washes daily and changes her pads every few hours (she wraps them up and bins them outside)

Some people just don't care-personally I'm so paranoid I go overboard with showers,deodorant and perfume (I wash everything at 60 and dry it to the point it's almost on fire)

Or - more likely - they're mingers.

When my DH was in hospital a few years ago, he shared a room with a mid 20s lad who absolutely reeked. As did his girlfriend. Watched various doctors and nurses interacting with him, no-one uttered a peep. On the morning of the second day my DH handed him a bottle of shower gel and basically ordered him to have a shower.

If you can get up, get dressed, leave your house, get to a shop, do your shopping and then make your way home, you can have a stand up wash at the very least!

?

You might be happy to live around people who stink, most of us are not.

Promoting good hygiene is not 'judging people'.

I don't use deodorant but I shower in the morning and in the evening and I don't smell!

Your colleague smelt because of poor hygiene and failure to use good old soap and water not being he did not use a specific product.

What a vile Reddit. People with no shame and no basic decency.

I used to work in care, and it's an acrid unwashed body smell.... almost a bit corpse like. I blame a lot of shower gels because they don't remove the bacteria causing the smell, they just mask it. Bars of soap are the answer to most cases. DH has got very smelly hair/scalp oils and he stinks if he hasn't washed his hair daily (ie when he's been unwell). Every so often I have to give his hair a really good wash with some hibiscrub in his shampoo to keep on top of it.

You might find the subreddit r/hygiene interesting OP. A lot of people post on there for whom hygiene habits were never installed/modelled. Children learn by example!

Following on from my above post, the same man I mention, we once went into town together and were having a look around a charity furniture shop. When we came out, I said to him 'someone really smelt of wee in there didn't they?' I had assumed it was an elderly person who couldn't help it or such.

His reply?

'Oh yeh, I thought if I put my long coat on over my jeans nobody would notice!'

So he knew fully that he smelt of pee (for reasons I'd rather not think about) but instead of washing he chose to wear a long (almost floor-length) coat! Thinking that would mask the smell that was seeping out through his jeans.

Madness. Not that I ever pee myself but I know it can happen and if I did, my first priority would be making sure I no longer smelt of it, not covering the smell up!

It can be because no one has ever showed or modelled being clean.

I have always wondered, if you shower and use an effective antiperspirant/deodorant, why would your T-shirt armpits smell of sweat? Mine don’t seem to. I don’t wear the same T-shirt more than two days though.

My mum’s side of the family are like this.
One uncle (+ wife and kids), kind of a hippy way of life, would wear the same tshirt several days in a row, I think they felt that perspiration is natural, and you can skip a shower or too if you don’t smell too bad.
Other uncle… both him and his wife often stank, but wear nice clothes, groomed, etc. My mum asked him about it one day… he said they were turned on by eachother’s smell 🤢

No money issues for either, frugal (protestant) upbringing but far from poor. My mum ensures me that they were taught to wash properly.

I had a shoulder injury earlier this year. It made dressing/undressed difficult, and washing my hair was also challenging. I'm mostly recovered, but it made me very aware that something you can often do quickly, like undress, shower - might not be at all easy for others, and certainly not possible in 2 minutes.

But then some of the extra things you would be doing anyway. Most people shower when they’re changing from nightwear to daywear or vice versa.

Wow there’s some ignorant fuckers on here !

Showering at least once a day, if not twice during this weather, is the bare minimum. In the winter I can shower in the evenings and cope through the day but in the summer it’s morning and evening for me.

There is no excuse. You should not stink of BO to the point you can’t recognise that you stink!

I try to be tolerant. A bit of B.O can happen to any of us if we've changed deodorant brands or missed a bit when applying after a shower. However I really can't tolerate people that smell of ass literally. To me the musty smell of poo is not acceptable. It doesn't take much to wash your privates and change your underwear each day. Granted some people do have bowel incontinence but this isn't an immediate smell but more of a can't be arsed to wash and old festering smell.

Like you can walk into the house of someone who is potty-training their toddler and know immediately, but they genuinely can't smell it!

It's a truly terrifying thought, though, that it might be us who smell and nobody has told us! I've instructed my DDs to let me know if I start to smell 'old lady' so I can do something about it.

Isn’t is similar to not being able to smell your own perfume and thinking you haven’t sprayed enough on, yet other people can smell it clearly? You must just get used to smell that is close to you and become nose blind to it.

I get exactly what you are saying OP.

On holiday recently I commented to DH that the street we were walking down smelt of stale wee only realise when we caught up that it was actually a lady walking in front of us

I lost my sense of smell when I was 48. I’m always stressing that I smell or the house smells or the dog smells. I hope we don’t. But if we do I don’t know.

Because it is their smell. Like people who have animals stop smelling their own animal in their homes and on their furniture. Weed smokers don't seem to realise they are literally sweating a disgusting weed-sweat smell. Smokers and vapers who are insistent that they do not smell.

When I was a teenager and then again in my early twenties there was a period of time when the sweat in my underarms really stank and was very strong. I have always washed twice a day and worn clean clothes and antiperspirant so it felt totally out of control it was awful. I’m guessing it was something hormonal. I used to go home on my lunch breaks to wash and then change my school shirt.

the only thing that worked was using a very strong antiperspirant that literally smelt like alcohol hand sanitiser. It burned my skin until it cracked and bled but it did stop the smell.

So maybe people are aware that they smell but can’t seem to get it under control for some reason or another.

I think it's quite possible for someone to be unaware that they smell. For example, when I get sweaty, at first I'm aware of it and can smell it on my body and clothes, but once that sweat has dried I can't always smell it anymore. So if I was to sniff a dirty top in the laundry basket, it wouldn't always smell bad to me.

So I don't think the 'sniff test' (that some speak of) works for everyone.

I've worked in residential settings with teenagers and some of them think that if you leave a pile of dirty clothes, the smell kind of evaporates. So in my opinion it's better for young people like that to just stick to good habits, eg use deodorant, shower every day if possible, put underwear and most tops* in the laundry after one wearing. (maybe not jumpers)

In Asda yesterday there was a man drinking to high heavens walking around. Then at the self service till, I had to have someone authorise paracetamol and a lovely young ish man came over, all smiles and oh my god, cumin pits! Absolutely rank.
Seems to be more of a man issue I find

The shower itself can easily be done in two minutes, unless you are doing extras like washing hair or shaving. I guess for many people its the before and after activities like /un/dressing, drying that make it too much effort for the energy level they have.