AIBU to ask how others cope after being left by someone they love

Yes that’s what I did, I was absolutely unreasonably brutal in my criticism.

I read that list over and over and it got me through some difficult times.

Ultimately though it really is just time, and absolutely NC.

Took me 2 and a half years OP. Then after being completely destroyed (25 year relationship) I finally felt indifferent. In the early days I spent more time crying than not crying.

Because your heart is broken my lovely. The pain is real. I spent weeks waiting for him to at least contact me. The worst thing is we worked in the same place. I had to see him everyday and he’d ignore me. I started backing off and forcing myself to get out with friends. Once he thought I’d backed off he wanted me to go back but I was better than that. It was hard but I dug in deep. Thank God I did or I’d never have met my gorgeous husband. Honestly it will get better, I won’t lie it might get worse before it does start to get better but it will x

I haven’t had a drink for nearly 3 years, I wish I could

This happened to me years ago. It was out of the blue. I was absolutely heartbroken. I couldn’t sleep or eat…..drank loads and fell into such a state I even considered ending it. Doctor gave me antidepressants but they made me ill. I tried to surround myself with people that I loved and who cared about me. It took a good few months but I slowly began to pull myself round. I’ve now been married to the most amazing man for nearly 30 years. My ex did try and get me back but I remembered the pain I went through and realised I deserved better. I’d put him on a pedestal and he took full advantage. Please believe me…….it’s really REALLY hard but you absolutely will come out the other end, in time, a stronger person who deserves so much more x

For the first few weeks and maybe months… try and sleep. You’ll be so exhausted from the emotional hurt. Sleep sleep sleep. And do whatever the hell you want. Personally I throw myself into seeing friends (for short meet ups only, could only manage 2 hours before wanting to recluse) and walking / running. Planning something for the weekend, a comedy gig for example, just to leave the house for a few hours distraction.
The key thing is that you are not in contact with the other person while you feel like shit because hearing from them only makes the pain last longer.
Time and distance are the only healers and I’d say it happens quite suddenly, a few months down the line, you’ll realise you’re feeling ok again.

Been through heartbreak several times.

Antidepressants may help a little but I'm afraid there's nothing to take the pain away.

The pain fades with Time and eventually you will reach the calm of absolute indifference.

Give it a year. I promise it won't hurt anything like this in a year.

There’s no quick fix just time being a great healer. Post breakup after a 13 year relationship I used a lot of aromatherapy citrus oils in an oil burner and they really helped as well as familiar films and tv programs and loosing myself in reading.
The biggest thing I’ve taken away from it was that he most definitely wasn’t my forever person or we wouldn’t have separated he was in fact quite a bellend and my life is so much better without him!! I met my DH 5 years ago and he really is my soul mate and love of my life and being with him I can’t believe the crap I put up with from the other one but he’s just part of my story and I obviously needed to have that with him in order to make me grown as a person I am today.
I’m pretty sure you’ve posted quite a lot about this man and my belief is that he is just a small part of your story and your forever person is out there making their way towards you.

write a list of everything negative about them or the relationship. and read it every time u forget what a tw** they are.
Remind yourself that they arent actually the person you thought they were / the relationship wasn't - its rose tinted glasses otherwise it would still be great..
And even when ive been absolutely 100% sure I could never ever ever get over it - a few years later u will be SO relieved that it happened because u will be in a better place with someone meant for you now

There is no quick fix.

Crack on with seeing friends, crying into a bucket of ice-cream, taking up that hobby, watch whatever you want on telly, take that trip. In short, do not just fill your time, but do enjoy what you fill it with.

It could take years to recover, or months, or weeks. But you absolutely will.

I was in total hell. If anyone had posted this to me I'd have been livid. I'd have thought they didn't understand.

Take control. Live a full life. Good luck.

I presume you’re talking about romantic love? You do get through it. I’m mid 40s and have been in love a few times. It is very painful but life does go on. Time definitely helps.

I'm really sorry this is happening to you both. It's such a horrible, gut wrenching feeling. Unfortunately, there isn't anything I can say that will help. If I had posted this, I bet you'd both reply and say 'give it time' or 'this time next year, you'll wonder what on earth you were so upset about' and you'd be absolutely correct. You and I both know, however, that you simply cannot see this when you're in the depths of heartbreak.

I just wanted to acknowledge you both because I do know what you're going through. Please keep posting here, if only to offload.

i think it is just time, after the initial shock trying to see friends and continue doing things, take up new hobbies. It does pass and get easier x

Been there..its fucking shit......

Whatever makes you (temporarily) happy... shag someone, go on holiday, be bloody kind to yourself....

Eventually you get angry and realise they're a cunt..... x

I need something for my nerves and depression

I’m gonna go to doctors to get something to help

I don’t know I m going through it now, I’m rock bottom