To find this view re autism frustrating

I agree they shouldn’t have merged, but just wanted to point out that my DS, who has the Asperger’s type of autism, is unlikely to ever be able to live independently either.

The good doesn’t outweigh the bad for him.

Even within subgroups, it’s still a spectrum.

Kinda depends on your worldview and whether you have it or not?? And what level your talking about....

For example, if you are high level functioning, doing ok and an optimist, then that's not an invalid opinion surely? Aren't there blind people who are content?

Why bother yourself over someone's opinion? You don't need to agree.

He was believed by everyone around him, to almost certainly have been on the spectrum but was of course, undiagnosed.

I agree about the term “gift” being a disservice. It doesn’t really reflect lived reality. Many autistic people will never be independent, and I fail to see anything positive about that.

YMMV in terms of how disabling autism can be, but even those with what was previously called Aspergers go through a lot of struggles. I am high functioning, and have had high levels of anxiety throughout my life. It is exhausting to deal with, and experiences with other people only feel as though they are confirming my anxiety. Job interviews have been dreadful as even though I am smart, I know my autism will naturally be off putting to people. I have had too many situations where I don’t say anything and am still judged. The suffering I go through makes me dread for those who have it worse.

I can’t imagine myself being anything else, but I imagine that a lot of my struggles would be gone if I was born neurotypical.

I agree that Aspergers should have been renamed as it distorts the perception of autism.

A friend’s son is autistic and he is neither gifted, nor would his parents consider his suffering a gift. He can verbalise some of his needs using stock phrases but is largely uncommunicative. He cannot write his name or even hold a pencil. He does not know his last name. He was toilet trained but started regressing at age 7. He spits in people’s faces and tries to gouge their eyes. He cannot bear sunlight or even moderate noise levels. He cannot be around other children or pets unsupervised. He doesn’t sleep. That’s not even scratching the surface.

To say that autism is a gift actively harms those who are profoundly affected, and their families.

I have autism. It’s not a gift and I’m not particularly more intelligent than the average person. It’s a silent curse that bleeds into my social interactions, makes me self conscious and hyperaware. I would give anything to be “normal”. Over the years I have learned how to mask in day to day life but people close to me know that I have really struggled. As a child I didn’t understand why I was so alienated and disliked - I remember a girl in my class in primary school had invited every girl in the year to her party except me (I’m appalled at her parents for even allowing that to happen) and it was devastating. I still have no close friends now. Jobs are extremely difficult for me as I struggle to understand social cues in the moment. It’s an exhausting conscious effort to pretend to be someone you’re not just to stay afloat.

Anyone who thinks of it as a gift is either neurotypical or has the intelligence to excel regardless of their traits.

Two late teen DS’s with ASD - socially one masks & has very high anxiety- the other is very socially awkward and has PDA, both need a lot of understanding, patience and down time and both get burnt out from trying to cope.
A lot.

My child is very gifted. He can create amazing artwork out of his poo. On the walls,furniture,anywhere really.

He’s also very talented vocally, he can make so many sounds and so loud.

11 years of nappies and no end in sight.

I’m absolutely thrilled at being the carer for the rest of my life.

Seriously? Autism is fucking shit and I wouldn’t wish it on worst enemy.

It does wind me up. I think they need to break up the spectrum more specifically. Someone like your niece or my brother should not be referred to with the same medical term as someone who is a bit awkward and likes making lists.

I agree many autistic people are “gifted” I certain areas but I don’t believe autism is a gift.

ie if you were to write a list of pros and cons of autisim in a particular person, there may be a few pros (e.g. extremely analytical, good with numbers, amazing memory etc). However, I’m sure these would be more than outweighed by the “cons” -
ie the difficulties that person experiences in day to day life and the social side of things.

therefore, overall it’s not a gift and not many people would choose to have it. However, there are some positives and there’s nothing wrong with celebrating them

Asperger’s never should have been merged into Autism. At most it should have been given a new name.

Agree 100%.

I spent an entire career teaching severely autistic children in a special school. The support groups that had been a lifeline to many of the parents, now exclude them, because they've been taken over by those whose autism doesn't disable them in such a fundamental way. Anyone going to the groups local to the school and mentioning how horrendous their home life is, is talked over, argued with and made to feel that they're giving autism a bad name.

Trying to merge the two types was a huge mistake. Simply renaming Asperger's would have avoided pitting those adults whose intellect and cognition is less affected, against the parents of those profoundly affected in multiple areas.

For many amazing people autism makes them who they are.. in the same way that other disabilities make people who they are. But it’s not a gift, it’s the hand you have been dealt.

“Being normal looks miserable”

😂 right…

I find it interesting how more people I know view themselves as neurodivergent than not now. This includes self diagnosis.

@Ponderingwindow would you see yourself as having what used to be called Asperger's then?

I wouldn’t give up being autistic. It’s fantastic. I love the way my brain works. Sure, there are rough moments, but the good far outweighs the bad. Being normal looks miserable.

When people disparage being autistic, I absolutely feel the need to speak up because it implies people like me aren’t capable. Many of us lead highly successful lives by multiple measures of success.

Really though these conversations always come down to on key problem. Asperger’s never should have been merged into Autism. At most it should have been given a new name.

My niece is autistic. Non verbal, developmentally delayed. She will never live independently. Her mother’s life is completely dominated by caring for her (she does go to a special school). She’s 16 now with all the hormones that involves. It’s not a gift.

A friend with a non-verbal AuDHD son who needs to wear nappies at 8 and will never be able to attend mainstream school is really angry about the number of people who have been diagnosed with AuDHD recently, saying they when they were at school in the 90s/00s, not one of them would have been called autistic

@Pistachiocake while your friend has unenviable struggles, the fact that so many of us went undiagnosed in that period is a failing on the part of parents/teachers/professionals etc.

A friend of mine was disruptive at school, so the school moved heaven and earth to get him support. I got nothing, signs were noticed but ignored. Now in my 30s and aware of it (even if I can't get a diagnosis because the waiting list extends into years) I wonder how much better my life would have been if I had at least understood why I struggled.

I agree. Calling autism a “gift” may be well intentioned, but it can overlook the profound challenges and lifelong support needs many autistic people experience. Autism is a spectrum, and recognising individual strengths should never mean minimising disability or struggle.

My son has autism. He’s doubly incontinent and non verbal. Im not sure many people would consider that a gift.

Well your friend is pretty ignorant then and clearly misogynistic to boot. The way autistic women and girls present differently is now quite rightly recognised in the autism and adhd diagnosis process and you can now quite rightly be diagnosed with both. Autistic women and girls were very much there in the 90/00s.Uta Frith has been quite rightly criticised and pulled up on her awful misogynistic views by those in the field, researchers and charities.

Oh yes - being crippled by social anxiety is a total gift (sarcasm)

being unable to communicate with others is a total gift (sarcasm)

having serious sensory difficulties that make sounds, touch and smells intolerable is a total gift (sarcasm)

feeling like a complete freak and never fitting in is just a gift wrapped up in beautiful paper with a bow on it (sarcasm)

could go on and on but basically autism is not a gift. It is a challenge and a daily struggle.

Thats fair enough
Its when peoole generalise it becomes problamatic.

Uta Frith

Also I highly disagree with deciding that people from the past have this or that disorder. Ive mused myself, dont get me wrong, in terms of the 'baddies' of the world, what went wrong, what was wrong with their psychology, why did they behave like this, I started a thread about it.

But in terms of people like Einstein and Newton, people are trying to put an ND condition on them to prove some sort of point, not out of curiosity for their characteristics. Its appropriation at its worst.

By definition its a disability
And impacts people in different ways
It helps no one to minimise it.