To find this view re autism frustrating

I was told I shouldn't say that summer holidays for SEN children and their parents are hard because it means I am saying ND children are a burden and she loves having her ND children at home whilst mine is constantly destroying the house.

Just had my son confirmed as autistic today at four.

They are talking rubbish. Do they have experience with autism?

I think “spectrum” means that people expect a spectrum like a gas cooker knob rather than a spectrum like a light array. If you have a particular combination of strengths and weaknesses, yes, it may feel like a superpower at least some of the time. Or the strengths can cover off against some of the weaknesses. That’s how I feel about myself, despite a “Level 2” / moderate needs diagnosis.

I would also prefer if Asperger’s (or equivalent) was still in use as a term.

Yes i have seen this stay away from most online autism groups for this reason.

newn.cam.ac.uk/person/uta-frith

I have 12 year old with AuDHD. It is not a gift for him. He isn’t ‘gifted’. He gets by. He doesn’t thrive.
According to the assessments he is right up there with his problem solving skills but there is no evidence of that in day to day life. He isn’t lucky to be neurodivergent. He will be fine and his life will be ok but he will always struggle and I doubt he will ever achieve what he would have been capable of without his neurodivergence.
I will always support him and encourage him but it is utterly exhausting.

Absolutely. But I witnessed (and been a target of this too) people being very critical and trying to shut other people down, especially if you are a NT parent of a ND child, and some people also like riding on a high moral horse. I remember someone telling another parent they dont have a right to use the term 'autism mum/dad' because this focuses too much on their own experience as a parent and not that of a child...

Defintley people can only speak on behalf of themselves or their children
Its really unhelful to generalise and minimise other peoples situations

Your friend is angry at wrong people though.
My son is similar, and yet I dont think it's fair to deny other people their diagnosis just because our life is very hard.
I have also taught a lot of autistic/ADHD kids, and it really helps knowing the diagnosis, and there are a lot of things we never saw at school but parents struggled with at home because kids masked well at school.
A lot of people dont want others to be diagnosed simply because it's expensive to support them, but there is little concern about wellbeing of the actual people. A lot of ignorant statements are being made by journalists, media personalities by also people from the medical field who are for whatever reason irritated by the amount of diagnosis out there- but it all comes down to money and trying to have fewer people to not have to support and adjust.
Dont know who Professor Uta Smith is as I gogoled and the name doesnt come up anywhere.

It's OK if people to refer to it as a gift if they themselves are autistic and feel it is one.
It is not for many others and it's very damaging to have this pushed down peope's throats by some embers of the community. I have seen people criticised for not 'embracing' some situations like having a violent child, and being told to 'educate themselves' because it's a gift, when it definitely doesnt feel like one.

I hate being autistic. I have so many sensory issues that I can’t even do a supermarket shop without coming out with a migraine. I can’t work full time and I’ll never be financially independent. I struggle with even basic social communication (in person, I’m fine by text or behind a screen). Even a day out exhausts me to the point that I need at least 24 hours at home to recover.

It's not just the people who are severely debilitated for whom it isn't a gift either. I have a business partner who's autistic, privately educated, stupidly intelligent, great job etc but he is aware he's not good at relationships (romantic or otherwise) and this bothers him greatly. He's not very happy, quite often very depressed unfortunately.

I also have an ex girlfriend who's autistic. It split us up even though I deeply cared for her, I just could not do it. IMO/E with her she'll never be able to have a 'proper' relationship and again, she wishes she could have. Relationships require one to 'relate' and she simply cannot really do that. She would call herself emotional but doesn't know what to do if someone's upset and will just ignore them, will do what she wants even if someone else really needs her (e.g with me and previous partners, they/I could have had a medical emergency and she'd not even think about helping if her favourite football team was on the TV). She simply didn't understand or comprehend what caring about someone is/was.

She was so adverse to change that she'd never go for a promotion, move house, go to a different place in any way. It's life limiting even for 'normal' people with it at times.

I could have written the same about myself! 👋🏼
What are your skills that are rare and unusual xx

Actually its a myth that Einstein was a late speaker and the age varies
If i had a pound for everytime somone told me einstein didnt speak untill
Insert age i would be very rich.

Really though these conversations always come down to on key problem. Asperger’s never should have been merged into Autism. At most it should have been given a new name.

Completely agree. We could also bring back that useful term ‘introverted’, recognise that there is not one correct form of ‘normal’ brain, stop being so narrow minded culturally and be less obsessed with shallow versions of socialising and networking. I am interested in the cultural element of autism. The explosion in the label says more about Britain’s modern cultural direction than it does the evolutionary capability of our species imo. If people are fully capable of communicating and merely feel socially awkward then look at the culture around them rather than announce they must have ‘something wrong’ with them individually. Different regions in Britain are more tolerant of introversion and less conformist than others, never mind if you look ant the different cultures on the continent. It’s not coincidence that it’s increased at the same time as computers have made many skills obsolete and are now threatening to make intelligence obsolete too, while economics has shifted to relying on inheritance and who you know rather than skills and work.

I also used to work with youngsters who were nonverbal with various degrees of capability in communication, some with none at all and I nappies at 18. It’s not the same. Many members of my family are socially awkward or anxious. For myself it’s funny growing up slightly accepted as an introvert and then being steadily shifted out and told there’s now something wrong with all of us!

It can be for the small minority. I know someone who’s amazing with computers. Has a first class masters in mathematics. Aced every exam. Amazing at problem solving. Has what was termed Asperger’s. Has overcome the anxiety that went with it.

Because autism is such a big spectrum they really need to categories it. I suspect i have autism I'm diagnosed bpd and like the majority of women with bpd its likely a misdiagnosis. My life is challenging but I can talk, use a toilet, live independently and I think its unfair to people with very high needs autism to be in the same category as people who can live independently, have jobs and their own families. It should be like bipolar where its seperates in categories

I was put off an assessment cos of the long waiting list but in the end I decided to go for it. I reasoned it might take 2 years but in 2 years I'll either still be wondering or have the answers.
It took a long time but I'm so glad I did it. I got my diagnosis in April and its changed my perspective on so many things.

Agree. Einstein likely did have autism, he didn’t speak until he was five for example. Isaac Newton also had it, many highly intelligent and creative souls have. It can be a wonderful thing in ways, I’ve learnt to appreciate smaller things in life through my autistic DS for example. We also celebrate smaller milestones with him than you’d expect for a boy his age.

It’s also sad and can be debilitating e.g the fact he has no friends because he still hasn’t mastered social skills at 6. He doesn’t act in a ‘usual’ way and can be terrifying at times when he elopes. He’s rapid, I’m glad I’m fit and a runner else I’d have no chance with him. He has run into roads, thinks nothing of running off when out and about including near bodies of water. Many instances where something horrific could have happened and we were lucky.

On the flip side, he’s very intelligent and that’s beautiful to observe. I also admire the fact that if he’s shit bored, he has no time for it and will walk away. I would love to do this.

Wow the medical misogyny just keeps on coming!!
Said book has also been highly criticised as the author has no expertise in cancer or autism and criticises diagnosis in both,the author always seems to try to haul it into these threads.

I don't think it is a gift! I think it's hindered me and my life tbh, especially socially which then has knock on effects on other aspects of your life too

To receive a diagnosis of autism, you need to have been assessed as having demonstrable deficits in multiple separate areas of functioning, including communication. By a multidisciplinary team. Communication is an incredibly broad area that goes far beyond the back and forth of conversation. 90% of autistic girls remain undiagnosed at 18. They are 20 times more likely to attempt or succeed in taking their own lives compared with their NT peers. There is no overdiagnosis. The experiences of girls and women has persistently been dismissed and downplayed, or put down to other things, by the medical profession. I can assure you that my dd has been caused 'genuine adversity' by her autism. Our whole family has.

Thank goodness you have said this, so I don't have to.

My 'high functioning' 9yo dd whose experience Frith wants to erase has not attended school since December. She has also used suicidal language on multiple occasions, damaged property, other people, and herself. It's been a miserable year.

I read a book Over diagnosis recently where the author noted autism is primarily a problem with communication. Girls now diagnosed with autism and so called “masking” do not have a problem with communication. She argued that these new diagnoses are being constructed and newly created in the interest of “equality” and these over diagnosis carry a cost for those people with genuine adversity related to autism. Girls were being “undiagnosed” as they didn’t have it.

Einstein wasn't autistic. If people want to reframe their own disability as a gift or a superpower, they can, obviously do that. More power to them.

But it's a disability and causes anguish to many people, and families.