To find this view re autism frustrating

Autism CAUSES the developmental delay in some people. I've taught children with developmental delay due to other causes. They present very differently from children whose autism caused their delay.

I disagree with this. Autism doesn’t cause anything; it is a symptom. Autism presents as a spectrum because it isn’t a single condition but a selection of symptoms of a huge range of different overlapping conditions. It is a bit like lumping everyone who is ‘tired all the time’ into one diagnosis rather than realising it is a symptom of conditions that ranges advanced cancer to slightly low iron levels. But splitting it up into (probably hundreds) of different conditions would mean the loss of power to those who benefit from the joint association - which isn’t those profoundly disabled.

Seeing the lack of support and understanding my friend and her DH receive, on top of dealing with the effects of their son’s autism, made me seriously reconsider having children. I wouldn’t want that kind of life. Then throw in people calling it a gift or trying to minimise your and your child’s experience - I just simply couldn’t cope.

And here we go, while I was writing my post. We've gone from saying that those who manage life to a degree shouldn't be called autistic, to saying those whose autism affects every element of their development shouldn't be called autistic.

The effect of the latter is to dump parents from their support groups.

Autism CAUSES the developmental delay in some people. I've taught children with developmental delay due to other causes. They present very differently from children whose autism caused their delay.

There is a huge ‘autism’ industry very invested in the diagnosis of autism, including large charities, many of which spout about ‘neurodiversity’ or ‘neurodivergence’ right up until they are asked what they want then revert to talking purely about autism and ignore all other causes of ‘neurodivergence’ or actively campaign against including them. Of course anything that threatens their position is condemned.

The problem I have at the moment, is that the parents of children who are profoundly affected by their autism, are not just being made unwelcome by the adult autism community, they're now facing active rejection and being told that their child isn't really autistic. They're 'just' learning disabled.

It's as if the adult autism groups have appropriated the diagnosis exclusively for themselves, and don't want to be associated with those who regularly trash their family home, are non-verbal, maybe incontinent etc. it's as if the adult autism community is embarrassed to be associated with them, so are trying to dissociate from them.

As if parenting a profoundly affected child isn't hard enough, other autists are making it even harder for them.

As I mentioned earlier, I taught severely autistic children in special schools for several decades. I also have an adult DD who is autistic, academic and successful in every area except the social and anxiety areas. Fortunately she is not in the ranks of those trying to wish away those more severely affected.

I agree with you.

I have two relatives diagnosed with Epilepsy. One works full time, has a family, socialises, basically leads a 'normal' life as their condition is well-controlled with medication. The other has multiple seizures every single day, is unable to work, go out alone or live independently. No one could reasonably argue these people are having the same experience, but I can't imagine anyone trying to tell the first person that they shouldn't be allowed to refer to themselves as having Epilepsy.

Would your niece be diagnosed with autism and a developmental delay or just autism because calling all people on the spectrum autistic is misleading when there are so many variables.

Just don't engage with people spouting crap.
One of the conditions of getting a diagnosis..is ..it has to significantly impact the persons life
If it doesn't significantly impact their life ..no diagnosis,not autistic.
To many people self diagnosing ..I don't engage with them either ..come back to me when you have an actual diagnosis,and I will entertain what you say

There is no such thing as ‘neurotypical’.

Autism professionals, researchers, and neurodiversity advocates have heavily criticised Uta Frith for both her foundational cognitive theories and her highly controversial modern commentary on diagnostic thresholds.She doesn’t like the way the autism diagnosis process has been changed to recognise how it differs in women and girls and how people can have both adhd and autism.

https://www.autism.org.uk/blog/challenging-misinformation-about-autism-using-evidence-to-correct-false-claims

https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/news/our-response-to-professor-dame-uta-friths-new-paper

The main criticisms of her work are structured across several key areas:

1. Rejection of the Autism Spectrum and Masking

Organisations like the National Autistic Society and various autism academics swiftly countered that subtyping or artificially narrowing autism is entirely theoretical and clinically unhelpful. Critics argue that dismissing masking ignores over a decade of robust scientific research linking the practice to profound mental health difficulties, autistic burnout, and high suicide rates.

1. Exclusion of Late-Diagnosed Adults and Women

Clinicians and advocates state that this criteria acts as a "contraindicator" that systematically invalidates and excludes autistic women, people of colour, and late-recognized adults who were simply overlooked in childhood due to outdated diagnostic tools. Critics argue that her focus prioritizes an observer-biased, external clinical presentation over the internalized, subjective reality of autistic individuals.

1. Faulty Deficit-Based Theories (Theory of Mind & Weak Central Coherence)

Empirical research published in places like the National Instituted of Health has shown that Theory of Mind tasks often fail to replicate, do not correlate with real-world social interaction, and promote a harmful "unfeeling robot" stereotype. Furthermore, contemporary professionals heavily favour theories like Monotropism (an attention-allocation theory) over Frith's deficit models, arguing that her early paradigms pathologies a different processing style rather than an inherent clinical failure.

1. Dismissal of Sensory Accommodations

Autism professionals and educational specialists argue that this viewpoint ignores extensive empirical evidence regarding sensory hypersensitivity in autism. Removing or discouraging sensory accommodations is widely viewed by practitioners as actively harmful to an autistic person's ability to self-regulate and navigate overwhelming environments.

Frankly her views re shutting out women, girls, people of colour and the late diagnosed ( through no fault of their own) from the diagnosis process alone are despicable let alone the rest.

I have autism (Asperger's syndrome was the term used when I was diagnosed more than a decade ago) and for me it is definitely not a gift. I am by no means vastly more intelligent than the average person nor do I have some kind of savant mathematical or musical talent that makes up for my lack of social skills. I am socially and professionally very behind my peers because of my autism. To be perfectly honest, I would give anything to be a neurotypical person. Many things that are simple for other people are challenging for me.

There's no hard proof that Einstein had autism because he was born well before the condition was routinely diagnosed.

Why do you say her autusm is a gift, not her high IQ that has enabled her to utilise techniques to manage it?

My 12 year old GS doesn’t have any friends and hasn’t been invited to a party since reception class. Hes so fearful of the world that he can become almost catatonic. He’s got severe speech and language communication issues as well as ASD. He also happens to be above average intelligence and is top sets in all subjects. It’s not a fucking gift. He’s so sad in this world.

I think a read an article by her in new scientist recently too; it makes sense. I'm sure she's been in this field since the 1960s or 70s.

I don't think they were defensive at all. They just found it amusing.

It was a pretty silly comment to be fair.

I am 12 years in battling for my ASD child. Anybody who dreams this is a gift is delusional, yes there are precious traits I would never change, but….
If I could for just one day make life simpler in a non-ND way for them I would in a heartbeat.

I don’t think it would be possible to split it into clearer groups because it is such a wide spectrum. Trying to shoehorn someone into a smaller box isn’t going to help anyone and if anything would lead to more stereotypes and more barriers to what little support is available.

I get why people want it but I don’t think it’s realistic.

I hate this 'superpower' nonsense. Autism may have some advantages but it can make everyday life very difficult.

It's like that with a lot of other disabilities though - they're not all the same but are lumped together. But no one complains about that

It's weird how defensive neurotypical people get when autistic people say this.

I am also autistic, and derive a great deal of joy from it. Yes, by a lot of standards I'm not a "success", but they're not my standards.

Dont know who Professor Uta Smith is as I gogoled and the name doesnt come up anywhere.
@Ladyfromthehill

I had never heard of her until yesterday, but she was widely quoted in a front page story in The Times. Apparently she is the emeritus professor of cognitive development at UCL.

Essentially she seemed to be saying what a lot of people here have, that putting too many different problems under a single diagnosis is not helpful. I guess she means including what used to be called Asperger's in to ASD.

In the article she said the diagnosis was being applied to people whose lives and needs had little resemblance to one another, from children with profound disabilities who require lifelong care to adults with subtle symptoms who live independently.

She called for the spectrum to be split into clearer groups.

There was more in the article but I can't link it as The Times is behind a firewall and I just have a paper copy but I have attached photos

This kind of things really annoys me as the saying goes if you have met one person with autism you have met one person with autism
School holidays paticuatly the summer one can be very challenging
For parents of children with autism
My son is 16 now and still very destructive
Thankfully we do get respite now though

If you havent already look on your LAs local offer to see whats avdilable locally for childrem with autism
Meeting other parents with children witn similar needs helped me alot in the early days.

Agree
it’s in the same category of ‘handicapable’

Yep, I get very on edge when I hear people say this. It is not a gift nor is it a superpower. My almost 8 year old DS is completely non verbal (although he screams and screeches and wails so it's generally impossible to be out and about with him, it's non verbal in the sense of no words at all), he is incontinent, has no bowel control and although we tried to get him to understand pees in the toilet, because he has to wear pull ups for his constant bowel leakage he is lazy with pees, doesn't understand so just pees too in his pull up. So that's fun having to take him to the toilet out and about as well (many disabled toilets are shut and I am on the edge of taking him into the women's now so it's my husband that has to take him mostly).

He cannot read or write, ride a bike, swim, hold cutlery, follow instructions, understand road safety or stranger danger. He will take people's hands without any thought so we have to always be on high alert. He is disabled, basically. It's the complete opposite of a superpower FFS.

I don't want him to be like this, I don't know if he will ever be independent, it's looking unlikely so we are his carers until we die. Which isn't the life either of us wanted. But we love him, so we do it.

Autism should not be defined as a spectrum; I have no idea why there was a medical decision recently to lump the mildest ones who sometimes have a meltdown when asked to do things but can hold down jobs, friends, are continent, have speech etc etc with my son. It frustrates the hell out of me. I also do not think my DS should be in a mainstream school, and I'm trying to get that sorted too. It should be specialised schools and we do not have the money to send him private, so the fight continues on and on, every day. To advocate for him. I resist the urge to get angry when random people tell me it's a gift and a superpower. They can fuck the fuck off with that shite. Sorry. Rant over.

It's been a hard day today - he's kicked me twice and is currently hitting and punching himself because I had to change him and wipe his bum. This will continue for about 20 mins then I need to try and clean it all up. My DH has jumped off his work call to calm him and I'm upstairs feeling upset. Again. This is daily, sometimes hourly. School holidays need to end soon.