To find this view re autism frustrating

I think it's one thing for people with autism to try and see the positives in their condition - I have AuDHD and am freaking AMAZING in a crisis for example - but quite another for NT people to tell us we have "superpowers". The cost of those "superpowers" is horrendously high.

Yes?

"But yes I do feel damn lucky not to be autistic or to have an autistic child. That’s based on my experience of the poor souls I’ve worked with over the years."

Which perspectives?

Of course you can be gifted in some ways (e.g. exceptionally good at maths) but impaired in others (e.g. unable to have a normal conversation, uncomfortably sensitive to loud noises). And these could all be the result of autism!

These types of perspectives are so narrow.

It’s just waffle. Inventing a narrative to shut down what people are saying.

Having worked with the families I’ve worked with, the attempt to reframe autism as some wonderful club leaves a sour taste for me.

By all means, many people can lead a happy and fulfilled life with a disability (obviously this is more easily done at one end of the spectrum than the other!), but the language in that particular post is completely ridiculous. No one is feeling “robbed of the warm fuzzy feeling of being superior.” We’re sharing our experiences on a public forum.

But yes I do feel damn lucky not to be autistic or to have an autistic child. That’s based on my experience of the poor souls I’ve worked with over the years. There are a great many things I feel fortunate not to have to deal with in my life, but if anyone says it about autism god forbid. It has to be universally accepted as more of a personality quirk, or even a “gift”, than for what it actually can be at its severest.

You're onto one of my pet subjects here (I work in ID services).

We have the policy that if someone has a mild ID and can access mainstream services with reasonable adjustments - we will support and advise staff in those services (allegedly - we do have to push back with depressing regularity). If they can't access mainstream services they would come to us - and we do adapted versions of approaches as much as possible.

For ASD without ID - yep it's a huge service gap and we keep trying to push it and fix it as much as possible. I get particularly wound up when I get asked about my own diagnosis and then some computer system assumes I need easy-read documentation because I'm autistic - I don't, I need you to be clear, not a twat and understand that sometimes I respond in an "atypical" manner - but I'm incredibly bloody literate and quite likely to send you the easy-read back corrected!

Again why do you assume people are incensed?

People are merely telling you that you are wrong but you are insisting we are all furious. No. We are correcting your bizarre assumptions.

I’m not taking it personally. That is your incorrect reading of my comment and your incorrect assumptions of my emotions. I hold no truck with all that meaningless “weaponising” nonsense.

Based on the reactions to my comments, I can see that people agree with what I said. I’m not about to simper and say that autistic people are extra special and have some magical relationship with the world while neurotypical people suffer in grey drudgery.

My 9yo son’s super power today was getting up at 4am, weeing all over both his bed and ours, and then throwing porridge on our bed while we were changing it.

What a gift, he is truly blessed!

I can only put such an attitude down to a lack of theory of mind, so I guess that checks out at least

I am horrified at the weaponising of neurocognitive differences to insult an autistic person.

That pp's posts weren't about you and there was no need for you to take them personally.

This is where we sit but whilst she is diagnosed and has reasonable adjustments in school around classroom placement and actually it's in her reasonable adjustments that she be challenged appropriately (as she is frustrated and blunt when the work is too easy which causes social issues in turn) I can't see how we take funding away from those with more need.

Her reasonable adjustments are all free for school to implement.

Not everyone gets an ECHP or resources from the system with a diagnosis. Sometimes the diagnosis just helps a child understand why their brain thinks in a certain way.

Edited to say I completely agree they should have renamed Asperger's though rather than categorise it as autism generally.

I don't think anyone is saying it over a sweeping generalisation, it's just very cringe and tone deaf and missing the point to have someone in a thread tipping their fedora and calling people sheeple for not agreeing autism is a good thing/super power. People are talking about how the super power statement bothers them because their child will never be able to toilet independently or dress themselves and that's a heartbreaking reality, and they're grouped in with people who "notice the small things" and the extent of the support they need is natural light and the ability to work from home (I'm sure everyone would love that).

Somewhat on the subject of the thread I was diagnosed autistic as a child due to my mother who wanted to fit me into a box far too much and wanted brownie points for being such a martyr (she also loved the benefits she was paid and an excuse for not teaching me life skills/introducing me to new foods and experiences) and it ruined my childhood/early 20s and now I always feel slightly suspicious over autism diagnoses in a quiet/introspective/a bit quirky child. I don't believe I'm autistic at all yet I was diagnosed. I'm just introverted and prone to social anxiety and overstimulation. Since getting away I'm leading a successful if introverted life and it's sad alot of diagnosed people will hamstring themselves with their diagnosis including when they got their diagnosis of their own volition.

Having a low functioning autistic child sounds very difficult and hearing people who just need natural light at a window and get nervous doing a MOT claiming they're just quirky and superpowered while they sort out the logistics of life with a child who will never be independent would piss me off too.

You clever thing! I love this stuff!

I assume that I'm on a waiting list somewhere. I bypassed my GP in the end (a week after handing the form into them they hadn't even got around to looking at it) and contacted IAS (not sure if there's an equivalent outside Wales). I sent off their questionnaire months ago, yet to get a response.

Having worked with families with autistic children for years, and seeing them absolutely on their knees, I hard agree. I’ve seen it tear families apart and drive siblings to suicide living with severely autistic brothers and sisters.

It is also ridiculous for someone to say that because they are autistic that means they are privy to the wonders of the world and neurotypical people aren’t. Rather, they live in a grey and dreary world of drudgery, “dull, conformist, shallow” and lacking in the little joys that only someone with autism can see.

Give me a break.

YANBU. I'm autistic and it drives me mad when people say autism is a gift or a superpower.

Nobody is saying thst and you can feel how you like about your own Neuro diversity
But for many people its isnt a super power and i will continue to speak for my son because he cant speak at all i am his voice
For the most part he seems happy
But its heartbreaking that he csnt even tell me when hes in pain for example.

I’m not sure how it’s established, but there are some figures and links in this article.
www.inclusion-europe.eu/mental-health-people-intellectual-disabilities-families/

What's interesting is that a lot of (presumably NT) posters get very incensed about us saying stuff like this. It's almost as if making sweeping generalisations about an entire neurotype is quite insulting, isn't it? 🤔

I think the truth is that "normal" people feel quite comfortable about talking about rather than to autistic people, "othering" us, listing all our traits and congratulating themselves about how lucky they are not to be one us.

But if we turn around and say -"Actually, I like being me. I like being autistic. I love my life, it's full of colour and joy and interest- it's you neurotypicals I pity"- well, how dare we not know our place. We've just robbed you of the warm fuzzy feeling of being superior, haven't we 😆

And you agreeing with her doesn’t make her right. She can have an opinion all she likes, but if the list of things that @crackofdoom has written above make someone neurotypical, well fucking colour me autistic then. I’ll go get my diagnosis 🙄

Dull, conformist, status obsessed, shallow interests, miss a lot of the tiny interesting things that make life a joy

This definition of neurotypical smacks of someone who thinks they are exceptional in relation to the rest of humanity. You don’t need a diagnosis of autism to relish the little things that bring joy in life. Being autistic doesn’t make your interests deep and everyone else’s shallow. Being autistic doesn’t make you a non-conformist and everyone else merely sheep.

I can only put such an attitude down to a lack of theory of mind, so I guess that checks out at least.

My DH would be considered aspergers, as would my son. My DH was "gifted" in school, very high IQ, did exceptionally well at university, has done very well in life for himself but struggles socially and with anxiety. It is incredibly manageable for him without a diagnosis though. My DS is very similar, taught himself to read, does maths for fun as a toddler. High IQ, slow to speak (AKA asymmetric development), received early intervention and he is doing very well today, future TBD but very unlikely to be the same of a profoundly autistic child. I feel like it is unfair to the people who have profoundly autistic children to lump them together, it takes away from their needs, their funding etc. To me, it isn't the same.

@Coldhot my previous post was in reply to yours.

I have seen many camhs services refusing help to kids with autism but * I believe this has been successfully challenged (from memory not checked for confirmation). No ecperience of adult services as ds doesn't have mh needs.

Mh services are very stretched I don't believe it's just those with autism impacted. Many camhs require a child/yp to have attempted suicide before they help. It is very sad.

That sounds the reverse of what I've found. I guess different LA's and CCG's do things differently?

Yes, I'm quite sure about it as I was very peed off about and asked for confirmation from the sw in charge of his transfer to adult services.

I am talking about learning disability not learning difficulties. I'd be interested in the stat your using about mh being more common especially in the breakdown for those considered severe and profound. Also how it's established given the obvious needs.