To find this entitled?

I now do part-time consulting work. My husband works long hours in a much more demanding field, including a lot of time away from home.

There is nothing entitled about agreeing on a lifestyle set up that works for you. The problems you read about on Mumsnet are when one party isn’t happy with the arrangement or just had it thrust upon them.

Who fucking cares?! What a weird thing to get worked up about. I'm fucked off that billionaires don't pay their taxes, not that some supply teacher only works a day a month LOL

But there are men out there that "get away with it" as you put it. My ex husband works minimal hours whilst his girlfriend works full time. He's forever moaning he's skint and doesn't earn a lot but then that's because he chooses to take a low weekly hours contract knowing his Mrs
earns enough to keep a roof over their head.

You have no idea of a couples set up. My DH earns well and I don’t work. However I have recently paid our mortgage off due to an inheritance. It has eased his load enormously and taken all sorts of pressure off. We’re a team. I could go back to work but it would be to keep sneering Mum’s like the OP off my back who call me a scrounger, not because I need to.

It pisses me off to think that people think ‘Oh poor chap is working his ass off whilst Lady Penelope swans about. When it’s my money that has been life changing. This is just our situation, very few women would think fuck it he can financially carry us while I do FA. You only have to read the threads on here to realise how comfortably off many people are.

My aspiration is to earn enough so that my husband doesn't have to work 🤷🏼‍♀️

Maybe whilst they are "swanning around" not "working" they are looking after children, cooking, cleaning, involved in voluntary work? All of which is a valuable contribution.
Edit to add - ooops sorry, just seen that you mentioned, not those with childcare responsibilities in your very first line!

You literally just said you wouldn't be happy with that arrangement because you'd feel like you were taking advantage of your husband!!

I couldn't feel happy in myself knowing I'm sponging off my husband, but it only applies to women for some reason.

Men are getting away with plenty - don't worry!

Extremely entitled, I have two friends who say they can’t work above a certain amount of hours because it affects their benefits, well just work & don’t claim?! Simples! It’s incredibly lazy & really unbelievable. They both married, have husbands who work & children are older now. Now my mother in law didn’t work when my husband was young, his Dad had an affair & left her with nothing, she has never really financially recovered although did eventually return to full time employment. I worked when my children were young, there was a negative vibe in the playground around working parents, I didn’t care. I now earn a good wage, paid for childcare when I needed it, sometimes this cost me over half my wages especially in school holidays but I know I can financially stand on my own two feet & don’t need a man to support me, I do have a husband though.

Totally agree , I could give up work , but I wouldn’t.

Well if the husband couldn't carry on working and providing at the same level, I assume the wife would get more shifts?

ETA I have never had a joint account or finances with my partner of 20 years, since I was 18, we've got three children but never married, so it probably doesn't count with me.
I've never even had a joint tenancy with him, always had it in my name only. I just don't think you can rely on anyone, in any circumstances financially to look after you. I know if the worst was to happen and we split or he died suddenly, I could still look after the kids and myself.

Is this meant to be an inflammatory post?
Is OP really that obtuse about women doing the majority of child care and household duties and men still earning more than women across most fields and that women lose opportunities for career advancement and salary increases because they're on maternity leave, so rarely catch up to their earnings potential had they not had kids?
The perception of swanning about is actually quite a hateful perspective.

My partner and I have very similar jobs, however he is a workaholic and not keen on doing much around the house, be it housework or DIY, it would be his dream for me to give up my job so he didn’t have to take time off in the holidays for childcare or do anything around the house. Unfortunately, we couldn’t afford that, in an ideal world (for both of us) I would work less hours and free him up to work as many as he wants but at my level I need to work full time. So it may not be the woman that is driving this decision.

‘Each to their own … [followed by something bitter and judgemental]’

If you look at studies on mental load and housework, the reality is women still do most of it. So works for some couples for the woman to take that on.

Often on here when people are annoyed about the man working part time, it’s because he sits on the sofa and contributes nothing to the home.

That said, I would want to make sure I had a way to support myself if we got divorced. Though it sounds like the women you are annoyed with are keeping their hand in by doing a bit of supply anyway

As long as they are not claiming any benefits like JSA then this approach is fine.

Having been married and divorced and nearly 60, I more feel that anyone who doesn't take their own financial future seriously is very naive. It's the 'my husband has savings, investments and pensions so we'll both be fine' brigade I raise an eyebrow at. Money is easily hidden. So yeah, both people in a relationship should be working if they are able to.

Because in that situation they are discussing a situation specific to them and the impact on them.
This is you generalising a situation and seemingly being annoyed because you are - jealous?

The job market is very tough at the moment. I wouldn't be too quick to judge. Be grateful if you have steady work with reasonable status/money/decent colleagues. Unfortunately it's easy to get trapped with not very exciting job prospects/redundancy/ageism etc
so it can be a vicious circle. I would equally agree that it is dangerous relying on your partner for money.

I agree if it’s men or women ‘sponging’ of their spouse. I see those comments you’ve mentioned they’ve on line as unnecessary no one needs to know that their husband earns enough for them both. I think it’s different if they’ve both sat down and that what they both are happy with.

I’ve seen those posts too. The problem being that he hasn’t discussed it with his partner and he’s just gone ahead and done it regardless or he’s pushing for it and it doesn’t suit their set up or she’s not comfortable with it.

I’m not saying I can’t understand people having concerns it’s of course risky for a lot of reasons. But no one is asking you to do it so it’s not your risk, right? Unless you know someone personally and you worry about their personal circumstances this seems to me a very odd thread. Do you concern yourself with a lot of other strangers lifestyle habits?

I think that is more of an assumption that you’ve made. It’s wrong if they’ve both sat haven’t been given the option, but many couples in this situation it has been discussed and agreed on. Quite often after the other parent has put their career path on hold to be a stay at home parent. I know you said it’s different for those who are stay at home parents but what happens when the children have grown up and they’ve no work experience or not been able to grow in the career they would have chosen to do.

the comments by these women/men are unnecessary about their financial situation on media pages are what would annoy me not the fact they choice not to work more hours or work full time.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I agree it’s naive not to ensure that both parties are provided for in situations where one spouse has little or no income from paid employment. We have full financial transparency in our relationship and I have a private pension and will receive a full state pension because we used family income to guarantee that we would each be financially secure in the event of death/divorce.

I don't work full time, I only do 4 weekdays because the 5th isn't available and I'm not working weekends because it would be rubbish for both the kids and my husband.

If I upped my existing hours then I would have to pay for wraparound care which doesn't leave us a lot of profit. Why would we make life harder for both myself, husband and kids when we don't need to?

I'm home by 4 at the latest now after getting the kids so I can do things like put a wash on, start dinner, the kids have time to go out with their friends because nobody is rushing to cram it all into a 3 hour period from when we get home at 6 to the kids bedtime at 9.

That extra day off I have means I can get a load of cleaning done that frees up weekends and evenings, arrange appointments I would struggle to attend otherwise and generally make life a bit easier for ourselves.

If we needed the money then I would be working whatever hours necessary to bring it in and I do pick up some extra shifts if it suits for that reason.

It's not entitled, it's making life nicer for the family and it's nobody's business but ours, we don't claim benefits so that I can work less hours, it's us that makes the decision if we can survive without the £150 a month extra.

@Illbethereinaminute - agree. This type of arrangement makes life easier for all parties. When I was a sahp the weekends were free for us to spend together as I took care of all the housework, admin etc during the week.