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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would it be unreasonable to ask for a week's unpaid leave to move home?

40 replies

ecocredentials · 04/08/2026 14:42

Would it be unreasonable to ask for a week's unpaid leave to move home?

We have a very generous 30 day allowance and I have kept back a total of 14.5 days to use until the end of the year but Im so tired. I need to take the week's leave to move out of this.

Im mid 50's in a demanding managerial position, I am strongly perimenopausal and my sleep is shot to pieces. The stress of the house move has ruined me for months now and that, coupled with very little annual leave taken this year (so I can keep it for the move) means I am now beyond exhausted.

GP has put me on a mini pill (Slynd) plus Oestrogel to try and control my excessive monthly periods and Im finding that is also making me low and tired. Im tearful and often think of just going on the sick to reset but I keep on trooping on.

I have asked my manager for a week of unpaid leave a few years ago so I could keep my annual leave for taking the odd day off as and when I was feeling particularly exhausted but this was denied. Perimenopause has been dragging on at least 6 years now and im slowly getting more and more knackered.

Since then they have brought out a menopause policy though and Im wondering now if it would be looked upon a bit more kindly.

It would mean I could keep the 14,5 days for the rest of the year and take them off bit by bit over the weeks so Im not trying to overdo things in the new house plus working.

Would you think that is unreasonable?

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 04/08/2026 15:01

When does your leave year end? You said you hadn’t taken leave to save it for the move, so surely you take a week now? Three weeks is a lot of as hoc days to need - use your annual leave and have the time that you know you need now, rather than saving for hypothetical time you might need.

Dryrobe45 · 04/08/2026 15:00

You can ask, but depending on your employer’s policy on unpaid leave, they may refuse your request. Most workplaces would make an employee use their holiday entitlement before granting any unpaid leave.

Do you have children under the age of 18? If do you are entitled to take unpaid parental leave and your employer cannot refuse it. (Although they can ask you to postpone it- but only if it will cause operational difficulties)

MassOfInterstellarGas · 04/08/2026 14:59

SadiraOfTyr · 04/08/2026 14:52

Do you have any under 18s? If so you can take it off as a week of ordinary parental leave. You don't need to give a reason or explanation as to what you will be doing during that week. I take one every year.

I was going to suggest a week of parental leave - they can give it to you for a different week but they can’t say No otherwise. Worth looking up on gov.uk.

Or you could take sick leave?

Moonnstarz · 04/08/2026 14:54

I am not quite sure what you are saving your leave for. Why not use that?
At most, people I know get given a day for moving. You might be lucky to get 2.

If you are really against using your leave (which I am not clear about why) as others have said if you are that unwell then a visit to your GP and asking to be signed off would be a good option.

TheCurious0range · 04/08/2026 14:53

No that's what your annual leave is for. You can't take unpaid leave to move when it's a planned move and you still have 14 days in the bank (that's nearly 3 weeks in itself)

SadiraOfTyr · 04/08/2026 14:52

Do you have any under 18s? If so you can take it off as a week of ordinary parental leave. You don't need to give a reason or explanation as to what you will be doing during that week. I take one every year.

sweetpickle2 · 04/08/2026 14:52

You can ask, but I imagine they would request that you use your holiday days first before they considered giving you a week unpaid leave.

rubyslippers · 04/08/2026 14:51

3 and a bit weeks is a lot to save tho unless it’s a very complex move
surely you move on the friday ideally, and unpack over a weekend and then do stuff over time?
it sounds like you need leave now rather than banking it all tho so I’d take paid leave and then worry house the house move

SusanJJ · 04/08/2026 14:47

You can ask, but whether your manager agrees would depend on the workload and other factors to do with your job. Maybe sick leave would be more appropriate, and maybe HR/occupational health would be a better starting point for discussing this. Also, planning in advance how the workload would be managed during your week's leave might make your argument more convincing.

DelphiniumBlue · 04/08/2026 14:47

Does the menopause policy refer to unpaid leave as a possibility?
I'm wondering why you think unpaid leave would be better than paid sick leave. You sound stressed and exhausted, and I would have thought your GP would be willing to sign you off for a week or 2 to give you a chance to rest and recover.
But check the policy first, so thaty you know what is reasonable to request.

Ineedanewsofa · 04/08/2026 14:47

In our organisation you technically have to take your AL before being able to take the 5 additional unpaid allowed by policy - do you have a policy around unpaid leave?

catgirl1976 · 04/08/2026 14:46

Or you could go off sick and self cert given you’re actually not well?

Jellybunny98 · 04/08/2026 14:45

All you can do is ask. Lots of workplaces now have stopped allowing unpaid leave though as if every member of staff wants an extra week of leave then it can make staffing cover a challenge.

JMSA · 04/08/2026 14:44

I’ve never heard of anyone taking a week off to move, but it definitely wouldn’t hurt to ask!
Best of luck with it all.