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AIBU?

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Original poster

Brownies incident stopped me singing, starting to see how messed up it was.

384 replies

Magenta82 · 04/08/2026 10:18

When I (44) was 8 I went to a big division meet up, not many people from my pack went. There was show put on by another group as part of their Entertainer badge, they played the spoons. Someone then described the award and I thought it sounded like fun. I went back and badgered the leaders until they agreed to do it.

We did a big group show for all the parents and everyone had to do an individual piece as well, some at the show and some on a normal Brownies night. I chose to do it at the show.

I decided to sing from my school hymn book (the blue one with the ugly kids on the front #4 Autumn Days), on my own, in front of everyone with no musical accompliment. The "judges" were 3 quite elderly ladies from some kind of group of retired Brownie leaders or something (trefoil?). They failed me. I didn't get the badge.

Now admittedly I can't carry a tune in a bucket but still! I was basically put off singing for life, gave up trying, if I was so bad I couldn't get a brownie bade I must be the worst in the world.

It seemed unjust at the time, but now I have a child in Squirrels I really just how fucked up it really was.

AIBU

OP posts:
Original poster
Magenta82 · 04/08/2026 10:33

Skippyasyermuni · 04/08/2026 10:26

But that’s the same as all the badges - you actually had to do the work to learn the skill, and be competent in it. You weren’t a singer, and sounds like you didn’t learn how to hit the notes, so… you don’t get the badge. The entertainer badge didn’t need to be singing; you should have learned a skill you could do competently.

I wouldn’t say it that way to an 8 year old obviously, but you’re in your 40s so it’s ok to say it bluntly. Loads of kids don’t achieve brownie badges because they didn’t learn the skill. There was a thread on here last year from a mum really angry that her daughter didn’t get the badge after failing to do the thing competently; she wanted it to be awarded for participating and she was told by almost every poster that she was being unreasonable because you don’t get the badge if you can’t do the skill.

Your parents or brownies leaders should have helped you with the badge by helping you find something you could do confidently and well, rather than let you try at singing when it wasn’t really a natural talent for you.

It is upsetting. But if it’s like any other badge, you need to be able to do it well to achieve the badge. Entertaining is a skill like any other; someone should have used it as a chance to help you learn something new.

Edited

You are right it didn't have to be singing. It was the entertainer badge, not the singing badge, I got up on stage and performed, and judging from the giggles from the parents it was entertaining, just not in the way I intended.

OP posts:
Goditsmemargaret · 04/08/2026 10:31

Omg OP I don't think I have read something here that has resonated with me so deeply.

Solidarity!

At a similar age I had a very nasty teacher ridicule me and actually ban me from singing. She told me I had to mime. Then all the class would turn and watch me to make sure I wasn't singing out loud even during prayers.

I told my mother and instead of saying that's ridiculous she looked horrified and agreed that I clearly couldn't and shouldn't sing.

For over thirty, yes thirty years I didn't sing out loud and spent many an evening stressing and trying to figure out how to disappear at exactly the time a birthday cake would appear anywhere.

Then I had a baby and began singing to her. My DH teases my terrible singing relentlessly and I do the same back to him. What he doesn't realise is the great reflection on him, us and our family it is that I let him hear my singing voice. Now I sing out of tune and joyfully every chance I get.

Shame on them.

Skippyasyermuni · 04/08/2026 10:26

But that’s the same as all the badges - you actually had to do the work to learn the skill, and be competent in it. You weren’t a singer, and sounds like you didn’t learn how to hit the notes, so… you don’t get the badge. The entertainer badge didn’t need to be singing; you should have learned a skill you could do competently.

I wouldn’t say it that way to an 8 year old obviously, but you’re in your 40s so it’s ok to say it bluntly. Loads of kids don’t achieve brownie badges because they didn’t learn the skill. There was a thread on here last year from a mum really angry that her daughter didn’t get the badge after failing to do the thing competently; she wanted it to be awarded for participating and she was told by almost every poster that she was being unreasonable because you don’t get the badge if you can’t do the skill.

Your parents or brownies leaders should have helped you with the badge by helping you find something you could do confidently and well, rather than let you try at singing when it wasn’t really a natural talent for you.

It is upsetting. But if it’s like any other badge, you need to be able to do it well to achieve the badge. Entertaining is a skill like any other; someone should have used it as a chance to help you learn something new.

mtobrokeme · 04/08/2026 10:25

What a set of absolute bitches!

maslinpan · 04/08/2026 10:25

I was put off singing at primary school. The teacher wouldn't let me go to the loo during choir so I went myself in front of everyone.

professionalcommentreader · 04/08/2026 10:25

Is this the badge, you go get that badge ! https://ebay.io/m/Lrq4S8

AutisticMumOf2 · 04/08/2026 10:23

Oh that’s really harsh!

Poppingby · 04/08/2026 10:20

There is no sting like rejection aged 8 is there. I'm sorry those horrid old trouts forgot that ❤.

Metromayhem · 04/08/2026 10:20

This is horrible! It’s a brownies show not the bloody X factor. How cruel.