AIBU to still feel put off after his hurtful blowjob comment?

Why are you thinking about it now though? Something’s brought it up after two years. Yet you say you’re currently very happy?

Just sit down and talk about it. I can’t imagine my husband saying what yours did but I think I would have laughed knowing it to be untrue and called him out then and there as you should have done. He did apologise and take it back afterwards so I’m not sure why you are holding on to it. But worse is you are now dwelling on it and making that statement to be true. Let it go. Sit down and talk about it and the whole of your sex life. Judging by your comments it’s long overdue to be kindly honest with each other in that respect.

When you corrected him about the frequency of the blow jobs, did he continue to lie trying to convince you that it had been a decade?

I can’t understand why he would say he hasn’t had one if he had? Was it a joke?

I’ll be honest, my DH sometimes remarks on the length of time between certain sexual acts, often exaggerated. It’s normally in a jokey, flirtatious way and does generally end in (very consensual, fair and good) sex. I’m trying to work out what upset you?

Bloody hell OP, life's too short to obsess over this. Do you want to give him a blow job? If so, give him a blow job!
Why are you turning this into such a drama?

Your relationship sounds really hard work. You both sound hung up on sex.
You were hurt. What do you want him to do? Apologise? Avoid oral?
you either need to get over it, which after two years of avoiding it doesn’t appear to be possible, have counselling either together or separately, split up.
What exactly are you looking for here? You clearly don’t like it when people are telling you you’re over-reacting but I’m not sure exactly what you want people to say?

if you enjoy oral, give it, receive it. If you don’t, don’t.

Such a trivial thing to be so upset about. Why are you festering about this just ignore it. Ridiculous

Maybe he doesn’t understand what a decade is?

This is one weird relationship.
And for those saying the DP is awful, what about the hard work he has to deal with? He makes 1 inoccuous comment and is punished with no bjs for 2 years.
This is not normal, OP. You must both be very unhappy in this relationship.

It sounds like there’s too much anxiety and overthinking in this relationship (from both you). You need counselling or the relationship won’t survive.

Why are so many men just so emotionally immature and unable to take into account their partner's feelings.

Frankly OP your partner sounds like a complete idiot and a turn off.

Do you really want to stay in this relationship if it is causing that much anxiety for both of you and you are unable to communicate? It sounds like too much hard work for me.

I wouldn’t do it personally. He’s annoying and doesn’t deserve it.

Obviously depends on the context and how it's said.

Having a calm nature conversation and telling your wife how you would like more blowjobs is very very different from accusing her that she hasn't given you a BJ in a decade in the middle of an argument that has nothing to do with BJs or sex and also how it is said matters. That's not just a moan about how he would like more blowjobs.

Having said that I think @nilbyemouth should also have a conversation with him to lay it out on the table about how it upset her, discuss it, apologize and move on instead of stewing and feeling resentful for over 2 years.

I’d consider that a lie. Caveat - I am a very literal and pedantic person.. And yes, I’d find it hurtful - probably because it dismisses all the effort that I would have put in to doing it. I could see myself not feeling any urge to do them again unless he had apologised (without you asking him to take it back) and talked.

He sounds exhausting tbh, insecure in his own identity and pushing that on to you in quite a controlling manner. Daily talking about you cheating? Ugh.

Only you know if this is something that is affecting the rest of your relationship and needs talking about, or if the nowadays bedroom antics are fine and you both feel cherished and respected. If you don’t, talk.

Your subsequent posts make him sound awful. You say you both have performance anxiety around sex. Did you have it before you met him? Did he give it to you?

The throwaway comment about lack of blowjobs is a non-issue, I think. It’s the rest of his behaviour that sounds unhinged.

I agree with the majority of pp.

You were hurt by his comment because it wasn't true. That doesn't make it an inherently hurtful comment.

He exaggerated which, if someone is being particularly pedantic, could be viewed as him lying. Saying that you are crap at giving blow jobs would be a rude and hurtful comment that anyone would be upset by. Saying, in the heat of an argument, that you haven't given him a bj for a decade is something that most people would feel irritated or annoyed by at the time but wouldn't be hurt by and certainly wouldn't dwell on for 2 years.

You both seem to struggle with anxiety and communication. You've painted yourself into a corner and neither of you seem happy.

I don't see that carrying on the way things are is good for either of you. You need to bite the bullet and either sit down and have an open conversation where you both are able to talk about your feelings or you end the relationship.

What is abnormal about oral sex? You might not enjoy it, that's a personal preference. But don't go making such absurd statements.

Perfect.
But your probably wrong 🤣🤣

It was the frequncy not that actual act.
Then you start to make up ideas...gosh

So you are asking for advice but disregarding anything that you don’t agree with.

You are wasting your time asking for advice/help if you aren’t actually willing to take into consideration different points of view, particularly when people are going out of their way to help you.

anyway I will leave you to suggesting ‘spicy stuff’ to torment your partner when you won’t even give him a blow job or discuss why you won’t. Those two things make no sense at all