Do you have a best friend?

No - I have quite a few friends, but no one is my 'best friend' and tbh I think it's a bit childish to have a best friend. I had a best friend when I was at school, but not since.

Yes . We met on the first day of Infants school and we are 54 now.
X

I wouldn't say I'm "perplexed". And I would definitely say I had a best friend in my childhood and another in my teens. For one thing, in those days we were very explicit about identifying our one and only "best friend" in pretty much the same way that we would our one and only "boyfriend". I don't think most adults do that? Unless it is the same best friend they've had since childhood.

My childhood best friends didn't last forever and I can think of one or two contenders now, but we haven't taken the best friend vows of childhood. And there isn't the same daily inseparability that I had with my best friends in those days. So I'm wondering what a best friend looks like in adulthood.

I think different people do have different definitions of what a best friend is. For example, some people think you can have more than one and some think that is impossible. I think some might describe the women I have in mind as best friends and others might not. I'm slightly unsure rather than perplexed (= utterly baffled).

Your perplexity means you don’t have one, and never have had one.

I'm not sure. Can you define what you mean by "best friend"?

My cousin is my best friend. We weren’t close that close as children and I probably had t seen her in 10 years but the relationship deepened when we re connected after she had her second child. Outside of her I have several close friends who i see regularly.

I have two best friends that I’ve known since I was 14 and 24. I see them about once a month. They have met but arent in touch. I feel as though people that knew me before I had kids, know the whole of me, so are closer than more recent friends. Having a friend who knew my parents, came to my house after school etc, is literally irreplaceable.

I do but it’s not the same one I had as a child up to age 24 and the other one from 14 to early 40s.

I did but she died last year. I’d known her for 25 years and if there was somebody on the completely same wavelength as me, it was her.
I’m lucky to have other very lovely friends but
it’s not the same.

I've two. Met them in sixth form, so known them for 25 years at this point.

Are they necessarily the people I have the most fun with? No, I have other friends who make me laugh more, or are more entertaining, or like the same stuff I do. They're not even the friends I see most often or talk to most freqently.

But they're the ones who I can count on being there if something goes wrong, who I can talk to about anything and vice versa. They're the ones who'll still be around in another 20, 30 years (as long as none of us pops our clogs of course!)

No. People dropped off the radar as we got older and went away to university. The remaining best friend seemed to disappear as soon as she got a girlfriend. We could never meet up on our own after that. They are now married...

I have a few best friends. One I've known since Reception class (so 30+ years), another I've known from living on the same street as a child. I also have a few others but have known them a long time too.

I always assumed this was the norm but have realised in recent years that's not the case. I'm very lucky to have some wonderful people in my life 😊

Best friends do take a lot of effort and you have to put in what you want to get out. And you have to find your 'right' person!

I have a best friend.
2 other very close friends.
Then childhood best friend who is still in my home town and now a large distance between us Therefore don't see each other a lot but keep in regular contact.

I have two. Met them through our hobby when I was 30. Of all the friends I’ve had in my whole life, they will be my forever friends.

Yes, met mine in nursery school, still friends 40 years later. Part of a larger group of primary and secondary school friends. See some a few times a week others every few months. Meet up for big birthdays and go away on weekends away at last twice a year.

Yes, we met a Primary School, in our 50s now. Been through it all together. I trust her implicitly, she knows all my past, alll my secrets, and would never tell anyone (and vice versa).
I have a second friend I’m very close too. Met when our children were in Reception, so 15 years or so ago - this is someone else I trust, and can talk to about anything.

I then have a wider group of female friend, people I’ve just met over the years .. who I go out for drinks / meals with.

I do have some Male friends, but much prefer the company of women

No. I did have from school but because I moved away year late I realised it was o let me making contact so I stopped and havnt heard from her since ce.

but I do have a good group of friends where I love. We do things together, weekends away, dinners out, theatre trips etc and it fits well with my work and family life.

No, I don't have a best friend. Haven't had one really since I was maybe early 20's. I keep reading on Mumsnet about people going on spa days with their mates but that doesn't register in my world at all.

I did. She died suddenly five years ago. I still miss her. Her husband moved on very quickly after she died.

Yes have a few

No. I have 4-5 friends and there’s one that I like slightly more than the rest but a) she has friends she’s closer to and b) even though I like all of them and have a moaning session with them at times, there isn’t one I’d tell my my most personal secrets/issues to as we’re not close enough.

Yes I have two, known both since I was 15 and they’re friends with each other too but not as friendly as I am with both of them. They wouldn’t see each other in their own but we socialise in a small group sometimes.

We’ve been through loads together and had some great times and both bring something different to the relationship- one I can be 100% myself with. There’s nothing she doesn’t know about me and we are more like family I would say, she can drive me mad too in that way, but we just get each other, although our lives are very different.

The other friend and I have more in common, our DCs are a similar age and our DHs are good friends too. We’ve holidayed together a couple of times when DC were young and she’s very supportive when the shit hits the fan. She’d be my 2am call!

So yes, I’m lucky, but I don’t really have family (apart from dh and dc) so I do put a lot of store by my friends and nurture the friendships. I have some other close friends too which is great, most are very longstanding as well.

Yep. We’ve known one another since we were 3, best friends since around 10. He’s gay and he’s lived quite a wild life, the sort you’d read about in fiction to be frank. My life is very dull in comparison! We don’t meet often but when we do it’s like we enter another realm together and the outside world doesn’t exist. We love listening to one another and having a laugh, he’s great.

Yes i have 2. Met them at work and uni coming up to 20 years ago. I have moved a few hours away from them but they are still my best friends.

I have a nice friendship group that I meet up with regularly and could rely on in times of need. I also have one best friend who isn't part of this group but who I have been friends with since we were 12, and we are now mod forties. We have never had a bad word between us and I feel like she is the only person who really properly knows me, moreso than my husband even. I feel like she is more like a sister than a friend. We don't see eachother often but when we do, it's like we were never apart.