DH just made me a dinner that he knows I don’t like

@Pistachiocakebut she didn’t have them at a restaurant? She had sea bass.

Go further back I have a theory your bra is an ex dinner lady circa 70s.

What?

This.

Revenge is a dish best served up by Deliveroo

My husband hates fish . He can eat it in breadcrumbs but that’s it. He hates the smell, we once went into a pub when we were away that had a beautiful beer garden and was right on the coast - and he loves a pint - but he walked straight back out because they served fish and he could smell it. We have been married for 10 years .

For some reason I still sometimes think he loves the fish you get in butter sauce and I feel like I have a memory of him going through a stage when this is all he would eat . No matter what he says , and I know he knows better than me, I can’t shake this memory- I had an ex who liked it so I am sure I am getting mixed up but there are still times when I consider getting him this for dinner and he reminds me that his hatred of fish is common knowledge.

I honestly think they just dont take any notice WHATSOEVER!! After 18 years mine will still come back with a treat for me... a cake filled with caramel and a strawberry milkshake on the side, 2 things I hate but he loves funnily enough 😆 they are just a bit daft !

You shouldn’t feel grateful that he’s cooked for you, especially as he cooked something you dislike.

Maybe he was just being a bit selfish...wanting salmon himself. I wouldn't make a big deal of it but just make sure he makes something you both enjoy next time.

Because I make very sodding mental decision around food / food shopping / cooking and clearing up all breakfasts / lunches / dinners … plus doing all the mental load in our joint business and running of our farm. He can (although apparently can’t!) … even make me a bloody warm milk … so yeah… it would Be nice if he could provide one sodding beverage of the day …. Luckily he has many other redeeming qualities 🤣🤣

Is nobody on this thread an actual adult?

Any pressing reason that you can't simply make your own 'night time warm milk'?

Different people like different things though. I like salmon fish cakes, my husband hates all fish cakes, despite liking most fish.

Same here I prefer tuna but will happily eat fishcakes made with salmon

Agree. Or I’d go further and say it’s a lack of/refusal to think of women as having their own preferences/personalities/inner lives , and a lack of interest in paying attention to them.

Why?

Ah well, I’m an adult who owns my own home and makes my own decisions about what I eat, and don’t just eat what my mum tells me.

I make my children cauliflower cheese knowing they don't like it.

Almonds don't constitute a full meal do they.

I don't love them as well, but if my mum tells me to have some I'll do it. I'll just chew them and have them with water.

I also hate mushrooms, literally the only thing I refuse to eat. Most other things I can tolerate even if I am not a fan.
Inflicting mushrooms on you should be a crucifiable offense.

It's the opposite here. DH loves lamb. I hate it - even the smell of it, but I don't stop him eating it - I just suggest that he has it when the weather is nice enough to open all the windows. He has some lamb steaks in the freezer and was complaining that the freezer is too full and it needs defrosting, (he is self-appointed guardian of the freezer...) I suggested he makes a start on emptying it by eating his lamb steaks... He says 'Oh I don't want to do that because you don't like the smell of lamb...'

Too nice for his own (and my) good.

That would really dissapoint me. Weaponised incompetence comes to mind.

We call it the futility room too 😄

i don’t like salmon, it has a very strong and distinctive flavour. I happily eat trout as it is much milder. I don’t like hake as it also has a very strong flavour, I like pretty much all other white fish.

Adults are allowed to have food preferences and unless they find themselves in a position of food scarcity they shouldn’t be expected to eat something just because someone else cooked it for them.

But really, that is not the point here. OP’s husband made her salmon fish cakes because after twenty years he can’t be bothered to remember what she likes, or because he just doesn’t care what she likes.

What message does that send? He has almost no interest in the person he has spent his adult life with, he is indifferent to her, sees no reason to value her as an individual.

This isn’t about the fish cakes, there will be a pattern of weaponised incompetence, or of constant disregard to the OP.

I see the same in real life, small things, that when mentioned individually seem petty or ridiculous, but when combined, especially over a period of time illustrate an ingrained contemptuous attitude from husbands to their wives.

I have a slightly fussy family, so I’m of the opinion that everyone ends up with something they don’t like on their plate every now and then.
Otherwise we’d be very restricted to only a handful of different meals.

I don’t particularly like everybody else’s favourite vegetable. Sometimes I make myself something different, sometimes I just eat it.

Some things are easy to swap out - eg chicken for one when everyone else is having sausages, or to cook in a separate pan and add at the end, which is what I do with mushrooms.

But sometimes you just have to put up with it/politely leave it at the side of your plate, and remember that it will be time for your favourite meal tomorrow.

Almonds are healthy and edible. I don’t like them, so I don’t eat them. Even dipped in hot sauce.