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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it isn’t surprising that I haven’t had a night alone in my home since 2002?

126 replies

WoIsMe · 03/08/2026 18:29

DH is taking our four DCs to visit his DM for a week next week. I’m really looking forward to it since the last time I spent a night alone at home was when he went on a work trip in 2002. He has never taken the DCs away in all that time. Every time I mention this to someone they remark, that can’t be true. But why not? Surely it’s normal to have your children at home with you every night?

So AIBU to think it’s not surprising to have never had a night alone at home since having DS1?

OP posts:
DandelionClockSeeds · 04/08/2026 06:51

DH and I have a child free weekend coming up! We managed one day lasy year, but then other than that, childfree at home has been very rare.
OTOH DH gets about 6 hours a day home alone most school days!

Yes, various people have plans meaning they are away, but very rare both kids plans line up.

However, by the time they are 24, id hope to be child free more often than not!

Lentilcakes · 04/08/2026 06:27

Eldest DC born 2002 and prob had first night alone when they were in uni and dh went on a business trip or something 🤷‍♀️ so only in past few years.
i mean we had time away from them w PIL in charge overnight or they went in school trips etc but then DH was as here too.

AngelaBB · 03/08/2026 23:36

I have never spent a night alone in the house. I went from parents to husband to children to partner. I’ve not ever thought that there is anything strange in this.

SusanChurchouse · 03/08/2026 22:49

Not weird for me. It was probably 2010 when I last spent a night alone in my own house. I’ve had plenty of nights away on my own but not home alone. My son (autistic) doesn’t really do sleepovers, residentials etc and we’ve had no family who can provide overnight care for quite some time. The few occasions when both kids have been elsewhere, DH was with me.

I had about 4 hours with the house to myself a few weeks ago while the rest of the family were at a BBQ and it was absolutely lovely.

vincettenoir · 03/08/2026 22:37

I think it is reasonably surprising. If it wasn’t remarkable that you haven’t had a night alone in your house since 2002 then you wouldn’t be mentioning it to people in the first place.

That said, it probably isn’t that unusual for a parent in a large family not to get a night alone for several years.

GrillaMilla · 03/08/2026 22:29

I don't think I've had a night alone in any house ever. I lived at home with parents, then moved in with husband, then children arrived. There's always been one of them here. Never had night on my own.

NelferchyLlyn · 03/08/2026 22:23

I havent had a night alone for 20 years either (probably more but I cant remember). I have a dh and 4 dc's. We are a busy house with lots of comings and goings. The children do go out frequently but there is always 1 at home. We always have a family holiday, plus we will also go away seperately too, so I do have lots of me time.

Infact, up to living with dh, I lived in shared rentals for years with friends. Pre uni, I lived with my parents. So, I dont think I have spent hardly any nights home alone ever!

Tronkmanton · 03/08/2026 22:22

I think I’m the same, but not since 2003 when my eldest was born. Lots of nights away on my own but never at home as DH not one for lads holidays etc and doesn’t travel for work. I’d LOVE a night alone!

Fakeplasticchimneyswhy · 03/08/2026 22:18

I had my first child-free night 3 years ago when the oldest was already an adult. Like the OP I had 4, so while I often had one or two away, it was never all 4 at once.

JoyousWriter · 03/08/2026 22:08

Single parent here. Haven't had a night alone for just short of 26 years!

Have parented my youngest with no break (SEND) for I think 9 years.

I've been a lone parent for 21 years.

Jk987 · 03/08/2026 22:05

If the last time was 2002 and you had young children then, they must be early/mid 20’s by now. Don’t they go away by themselves?

NewYorkSummer · 03/08/2026 21:51

Deadleaves77 · 03/08/2026 21:09

I don't think its unusual if your children are 10, I think its quite unusual if your children are 24! How old are your DC?

My eldest is that age and I’ve never spent a full night alone, at home, as in all night, since they were born. Kids might be at sleepovers, or now at uni, but husband is home overnight. Husband might be away with friends, but then kids are home. They’re just never all out overnight at the same time. So not necessarily that unusual.

WoIsMe · 03/08/2026 21:50

So many questions I can’t keep up!

Yes, my DH has had lots of nights alone at home when I’ve taken my kids to visit my DM or on camp. We lived near his parents for a long time so he didn’t need to take the DCs away to visit them. All holidays have been family holidays. He did take three of them to visit his DM after we moved to different areas of the country but I still had one home with me then.

My oldest DC is 23 and the youngest is 11 so the last time is definitely 2002 when DH went away on a work trip.

They’ve never all stayed away from home without me there although they’ve been away individually on school trips, sleepovers, Scout camps etc.

I’m beyond excited at having the place to myself with no small people to cater for!

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 03/08/2026 21:41

My kids did do sleepovers and residential trips with school but not at the same time. Grandparents never had them. My DH passed away when they were young but I do recall perhaps one night when they were both away so I was on my own? Hmmm. My oldest moved out at 18 and my youngest went on the odd sleepover after that and is at uni (and currently abroad) so plenty of nights on my own now!

Totaldramallama · 03/08/2026 21:35

Probably not that unusual if you have four kids. I have one and have had loads of nights in alone. Though I don't think DH and I have had a night alone in our own house together since she was born, only when one of us takes her away somewhere. Year after next she does her first school residential so I guess we'll have that then!

sequinmoon · 03/08/2026 21:17

I haven’t had one alone at home since 2013 when I had my first DC! Or a night alone with DH without the DC!

My DH used to work away a lot but I was always at home with the DC.

We don’t live near family so we travel and visit together and are always with the DC when we do - they don’t get sleepovers with family. They don’t go on sleepovers with friends at the same time and they’ve both been on camps with cubs/ guides but also never at the same time!

TallSturdyGirls · 03/08/2026 21:12

DH has never taken our kids away either. His mum lives in a bungalow his dad in a tiny flat. Ive taken them loads. He is a great dad and taken two of them camping, a few times on his own but never all 4. I was going have my first weekend alone in 22 years then the 22 year old got sick and didn't go on holiday!

Deadleaves77 · 03/08/2026 21:09

I don't think its unusual if your children are 10, I think its quite unusual if your children are 24! How old are your DC?

JMSA · 03/08/2026 21:08

It’s not normal to me.

VivienneDelacroix · 03/08/2026 21:04

It depends how old your children are.
If they are spaced out and the eldest is 24 and your youngest under 10, I can understand that.
However if they're all over 16 or you had a number of years pre-children where it was just you and your husband, I find that a bit odd.

PensionPuzzle · 03/08/2026 20:58

I'm having my first couple of nights alone since my kids arrived next week! The eldest is only seven though. I take them away overnight every now and then, my husband's doing his first trip away with just them. I know they'll have a great time and I'll enjoy the peace!
They've never done family sleepovers because the grandparents either don't have the facilities for them to stay over, or are so far away that we stay over together when we visit them anyway.

WineAndBridgerton3322 · 03/08/2026 20:48

I've had childfree holidays but they always involved me amd/or DH going away. Now that I think about it, yes, I haven't had time alone in the house since they were born.

Dancer48 · 03/08/2026 20:18

NewYorkSummer · 03/08/2026 20:14

I’ve just realised I’ve never spent the night on my own at home in about 23 years! Kids have been away, DH has been away, many times, but not all at the same time! I have been on my own in a hotel though, many times, which is rather nice 😊

Same as this, only about 18 years for me.

I have spent the odd evening alone when they were all away.

But I can't think of a time they all stayed away.

NewYorkSummer · 03/08/2026 20:14

I’ve just realised I’ve never spent the night on my own at home in about 23 years! Kids have been away, DH has been away, many times, but not all at the same time! I have been on my own in a hotel though, many times, which is rather nice 😊

Shloopie · 03/08/2026 19:37

whippersnapper55 · 03/08/2026 18:59

I've only recently spent a night alone in the house by myself in 36 years of marriage! DH worked away a lot when the children were small so I was the only adult and we have a severely autistic learning disabled son who didn't like travelling so DH would sometimes take the others away and I would stay home with our son. He now lives in supported accommodation and DH went to stay with a friend for the weekend recently and I realised it's the first time I've spent a night on my own at home! He's been away at a festival since Thursday and I've had 4 days and nights eating what I want, watching lots of true crime and doing jobs around the house that I've been meaning to do for ages - it's been bliss!

Wow, 36 years! Glad you've enjoyed yourself.

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