AIBU to be put off dating after his comments about ageing women?

This man is this man, there are other good ones. But he definitely doesn’t sound like a keeper.

I've just Googled images and info about Eva, and I see what you mean!

At 51, she actually looks years younger and is genuinely gorgeous!

You're much better off without that awful bloke and his vile attitude towards older women.

Even if the women he dismisses are 5ft tall, 37 stone and wear crinkly stockings, he still has no right at all to make derogatory comments!

Whether you date again or not, well done for sacking this dickhead off quickly and firmly.

Lucky escape by the sound of it.

Your second paragraph is gold 😂. At least he didn't try and recover the cost of the melon

Men seem to think that only women 'age', whereas they are still as attractive as they were at 21, lol.

They really think that women don't see the wrinkles, yellow teeth, beer bellies, hairy ears and balding heads they sport.

They still 'rate' women according to some fucked up 'fuckability' score in their demented heads, all the while sitting in their computer chairs like an overweight, hairy eared Gollum, spouting their 'opinions' on much more attractive women and why they wouldn't 'date' them! 😂

Personally I think a comment telling him he is correct that everyone is much older than they were in the 90s
USA he noticed that those who are into their 40s still thinking they are hot and no one has the heart to tell them they are past it

@BauhausOfEliott - love your writing style. If you wrote novels, I would buy them 😃

I had to look up Eva Longoria - 51!

Anyway, back to the OP. Yes, his dwelling on the ageing of women is unpleasant, and his persistence in seeking you out to dress you down is so revealing of his more horrible and perturbing nature. Well done you for calling him out on it.

I'm not sure I'd let such a wanker put you off OLD, though I've been on MN long enough to know that many men present so poorly.

<Full disclosure - I've never been on OLD or even a date since my DH died so fully accept I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.>

That is just one man who does not represent them all. There are so many good men out there who are normal. This man was just a dickhead and weird.

Good for you for taking a stand with him! What a dick. You are WAY out of his league 👌

If a man wants to date someone much younger than him it is always about control. Nothing else.

I met my DH when I was 39 so don’t give up - not everyone looks for or wants someone younger.
My recently divorced friend has tried online dating and she (61) says the vast majority of men 55 plus online are overweight, bald and look like a sack of old potatoes. We were sitting outside at a restaurant when she was talking about it and sure enough several 60ish couples walked by and most of the women looked much better kept than the men. My friend is a glamourous looking woman and while she values personality she also wants someone she’s attracted to, no matter what their age. She’s almost affronted that some of these men think she might be interested in them! But I think some men believe women just want a man no matter what, whereas they think they deserve someone good looking.

I'm in my 60s amd find men around the same age as me attractive - no attraction at all to younger men. However, as @risingup said men my age are only interested in younger women and I'm not prepared to start dating men in their 80s so will stay happily single.

OP - don't let it put you off, you're still young - but continue to keep your standards high.

Trying to find a nice normal man without ageist or sexist views on online dating is like searching for a needle in a haystack, try joining the Burned Haystack Dating Method on Facebook or buying the book. You probably could have weeded this one out before you even bothered going on a date with him.

I never dated guys who set their age limit lower then their own age. If they aren't prepared to date women their own age, say 45 when they are 45, this inherent ageism will show through later. Some men would rather meet a young person than a compatible person, let them crack on and find someone who wants an age appropriate partner or at least doesn't consider them ruled out just for being the same age as them. I used to put my own age limit as 10 years younger and 10 years older. I know lots of people who have met later in life and pretty much all are within 5 years of each other age-wise, so it is perfectly possible.

i'm sure we'll all be attracted to young men!

@risingup I might have a Google later

I didn't know dating websites had that option to be honest

I'd like to be able to say "looking for adult man who wants to help run the household and have nice chats, go to concerts etc". !!!

I’m not ashamed in the least. I just wouldn’t tell an older, out of shape man than I have a preference for fitter, younger men, unless he was an arsehole and deserved to know.

Why? Most men wouldn't have a problem with you admitting it. If it's "your biology", why be ashamed of it?

But the OP hasn't suggested that the bloke in question isn't able to do that. She just said that when SHE initiated a conversation about Eva Longoria's looks -saying "she's gorgeous" - he said that she was old.

Indeed, I rather like 28 year old marines but I keep that to myself too 😀

Many dating websites have, or used to have, a "companion only" tick box that you could use as an option. It's been a while so I don't know if that's still the case. There are companion only websites out there but I can't remember the name of the one I used as it was a few years ago now. I did meet someone on there and have a romantic 4 year relationship with him but I wasn't looking for sex or romance, just a companion.

I can't tell you what I relief it is to take sex out of the equation though. A different type of man on those websites.

Also there are the obvious social groups/stitch/meet-up type groups.

Indeed and whisper it but there are also some people who can value someone for their personality and values not just their looks…

I’m massively attracted to younger, fitter, more virile men; it’s my biology but I keep it to myself.

I don’t blame men at all for being massively more attracted to younger women. It’s biology. But they should keep it to themselves. He sounds like a shallow oaf.

OT but my 23y son said his dream woman is Eva Longoria, then and now! And he knows she is way out of his league ;-)

This is so true. I experienced a good example of this not long ago when a man I know was taking the piss out of a 50 something male celebrity who actually has an age appropriate (and attractive) partner rather than someone 20 years his junior. He was all about how it was natural to be attracted to someone much younger looking until I pointed out how women might also feel the same. Oh how that enraged his 50 something, long-faded lothario self.....